James AG
Week of 10/10/25
Actual headlines from the internets. You Google 'em.
James Indictment Mirrors Her Civil Case Against Trump in Miniature
––– From smallest man on Earth.
No perp walk for Comey, Blanche says
–– Blanche dupe wha?
Justice Department indicts N.Y. attorney general
–– On charge of Thriving While Black.
Letitia James Is Indicted as Trump Squeezes Justice Dept.
–– Look what oozes out.
Lindsey Halligan didn’t coordinate NY AG Letitia James indictment with Pam Bondi’s DOJ
–– Only coordinated with her outfit.
$1.8 trillion deficit revealed during ‘pointless and wasteful government shutdown,’ budget watchdog says
–– Even Goofy is like, 'Gawrsh, somethin's wrong here!'
Trump’s second ‘routine’ annual physical raises eyebrows: ‘Why is the White House lying?’
–– Why? Mouths are moving.
‘Who?’ Trump stumbles after being asked about the suspension of Habeas Corpus during Antifa roundtable
–– Non corpus mentis.
Supreme Court won’t hear Ghislaine Maxwell’s appeal
–– All ears for other Epstein whore.
Trump talks Diddy and Ghislaine Maxwell pardons as he bafflingly tells reporter, ‘I haven’t heard the name in so long’
–– Totally erasing lines between deception, delusion, dementia.
Johnson calls potential layoffs ‘a regrettable situation that the president does not want’
–– But can’t stop drooling at prospect of.
‘Horrible’ message: Republican slams White House threat to withhold furloughed workers’ back pay
–– From ‘monstrous' source.
Trump to sailors on pay held back by shutdown: ‘Do not worry about it’
–– Ay-yi-yi, Captain.
CPI inflation report will be released by Labor Department, while other data is delayed by shutdown
–– Concocted Price Index.
‘It Is Not an Exaggeration!’ Scott Jennings Insists Portland Is ‘Occupied’ by Antifa
–– We guess ‘asinine lie’ isn’t exact synonym.
Trump, 79, Coats Bruised Hand in Makeup After 4-Day Absence
–– Now answers in affirmative with 'S'awright.'
Trump Says ‘There’s No Reason To Be Good’ – Except To Get Into Heaven
–– Well, then he has absolutely none.
Trump Boasts He’s the ‘Best Physical Specimen’ Among Recent Presidents — In Wild Speech at Naval Station
–– Will not reveal of what species.
Trump Reveals Incredibly Trashy 80th Birthday Plans
–– Couldn’t be trashy enough.
Marine Veteran Says Hegseth Is A 'Laughing Stock' Within Defense Department
–– Commands Leathernyuks.
Hegseth Reveals Trump Chewed Him Out in Oval Office Clash
–– In latest slang for dom behavior we don’t even want to imagine.
US Army accepting roughly $1 million donation to bring senior leaders to DC conference as troops brace for missed paycheck
–– Because Hegseth can't get hang of Zoom.
FBI agent disciplined after refusing to participate in Comey surrender
–– Perp woke?
Kash Patel’s Challenge Coin Is Perfect for Him
–– Why, it’s shape of his brain?
Stephen Miller’s Cousin Calls Him the ‘Face of Evil’ In Brutal Screed
–– Who knew evil could look so stupid?
AOC Calls on Supporters to ‘Laugh’ at MAGA ‘Men’ — Starting With ‘Clown’ Stephen Miller
–– How dare you laugh at ‘sexual matador.’
Cheryl Hines Admits Husband Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Wanted To Fake a Marital Separation in a Bid To Protect Her From His Critics
–– And him from hers when hitting on journalists.
Tim Burchett Rants Against ‘Demonic’ Netflix Shows for Causing ‘Explosion of Transgender’ In Fox News Hit
–– Then suggests blowing up transgenders.
JD Vance piles on Democratic candidate who likened rival to Hitler and said he should be shot
–– Piles on like he was sexy couch.
Candace Owens Says Charlie Kirk ‘Came to Me’ in a Dream and Told Me ‘He Was Betrayed’
–– ‘And then insisted I’m not crazy!’
Kamala Harris Gets Real About the Current Political Moment: “These Motherf***ers Are Crazy”
–– Yet you still couldn’t stop them.
You won’t believe what degrading practice the pope just condemned
–– Clickbaiting which he thought was sexual thing.
With Trump pressing for peace, Netanyahu adapts to new political reality
–– He’s Peacemaker like Chris Smith.
How Trump willed ‘phase one’ of a Gaza ceasefire deal across the finish line
–– After giving Bibi 10 months to pound citizens to dust.
How Jared Kushner, a Self-Described ‘Deal Guy,’ Helped Broker a Gaza Breakthrough
–– And made billions!
The U.S. just bailed out Argentina, treasury secretary confirms
–– Are there that many Nazis still living there?
Big Investors Await Windfall From Trump’s Argentina Bailout
–– There are that many Nazis still living here.
Elizabeth Warren accuses Trump of betraying farmers and ‘putting himself and his billionaire buddies first’ with $20 billion Argentina bailout
–– And remind us again how he can toss tax dollars around like that.
María Corina Machado wins Nobel Peace Prize
–– Trump threatens to blow Venezuelan out of water.
White House says Nobel Committee places 'politics over peace'
–– Or peace over pig.
Inside billionaire Peter Thiel’s private lectures: Warnings of ‘the Antichrist’ and U.S. destruction
–– Apcalyptic Seventh Thiel.
Paramount Buys The Free Press, Ushering in a New Era at CBS News
–– At $150 mill wasn’t free.
Paramount Bets Digital Provocateur Bari Weiss Can Re-Energize CBS News
–– A Weiss move?
Bari Weiss Asks CBS News Staff What Needs Fixing as She Seeks to Put Her Stamp on Network
–– No points if you wrote, ‘You.’
Human Rights Watch ‘Cannot Accept’ Donations From Aziz Ansari and Other Comedians Who Performed at Riyadh Comedy Festival
–– Ansari seems to be the hardest word.
Stand-Up Comedian Jessica Kirson Donates Riyadh Comedy Festival Fee to Human Rights Campaign
–– But they can from this unknown?
Trevor Noah says it's 'funny' that Charlie Kirk got shot while defending guns
–– Gunman provided bullet point.
6 Reasons Why Dwayne Johnson’s ‘The Smashing Machine’ Was Knocked Out at the Box Office
— 3. Rock. 2. Paper. 1. Scissors!
Sigourney Weaver Has Met With Disney About a New ‘Alien’ Script: “It’s a Very Strong First 50 Pages”
–– So very strong 50 minute movie.
‘Roofman’ Director Derek Cianfrance Says Ryan Coogler Identified a Theme In His Work Before He Did
–– As sole human being examining ‘oeuvre.’
Maggie Baugh Says She ‘Can’t Date the Band Members’ in Resurfaced Clip Amid Keith Urban Rumors
–– Baugh humbug.
Channing Tatum Says Hollywood Is “Confused” And Actors Are Sometimes “Incentivized To Make Bad Things To Get Paid”
–– He must be loaded.
How Kevin Costner Lost Hollywood
–– Target pracice on Open Range.
Wendy Williams Wants Out
–– We want out of ever hearing about her again.
Byron Allen Wants Stephen Colbert’s CBS Timeslot: “My Hand is Already Up”
–– His own ass.
Channing Tatum Says Filming Famous Nude Leech Scene with Sandra Bullock in 'The Lost City' Remains a 'Fever Dream'
–– Leech was in therapy for years.
Colin Hanks Was Hesitant to Direct a John Candy Documentary, Until He Learned One Thing
–– How much he had in bank.
Cardi B Recalls What Shakira Told Her When She ‘Felt the Love Dying’ in Marriage to Offset
–– Suggested she try Intaglio.
Reality TV’s Bad Boyfriend Is Angry Again. This Time, He’s Yelling at Gavin Newsom.
–– You mean Spencer Pratt, noted political scientist?
Trump Interrupts ‘SNL’ Cold Open to Threaten Show Not to ‘Do Anything Too Mean’ or He’ll Have FCC Attack: ‘Daddy’s Watching’
–– Their opens can't get any colder.
Noem: NFL ‘won’t be able to sleep at night’ over Bad Bunny Super Bowl performance
–– Because they'll be f**king like rabbits?
Donald Trump Says Bad Bunny Performing at the Super Bowl Is ‘Absolutely Ridiculous’ Even Though ‘I’ve Never Heard of Him. I Don’t Know Who He Is’
–– Bugs, rabbit test extent of leporid knowledge.
Charlie Kirk’s Turning Point USA Sets ‘All American Halftime Show’ in Protest of Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl Performance
–– Because they’re not essentially White Nationalist racists.
Phillies get dealt tragic injury to outfielder in Game 1 of NLDS
–– Who can forget Shakespeare’s MacBader?
MLB playoffs 2025: Shohei Ohtani delivers masterful outing on the mound, with 3-run second the only blip, in Dodgers' NLDS Game 1 win vs. Phillies
–– In latest exaggerated slang for 'quality start.'
San Francisco’s Most Storied Dining Room Has Regulars for Life
–– Makes them sleep in back booth.
This Is America’s Go-To Diner Chain, According to New Data
–– IHOP you’re kidding.
After 30 Years, Elvira Finally Drops The Cookbook Fans Have Been Waiting For
–– You will, too.
I taste-tested the Bonne Maman jelly advent calendar — here's why it sells out every year
–– Schmuckers.
This scientist studies ultra-processed foods. Here’s what he eats in a day.
–– Day boat scallops, 5-hour energy, 3-minute egg, seconds.
Marijuana is too strong now
–– We agree, marjoram has got storms now. Can we have another hat? Hit?
Decades Ago, My Husband and I made a Sexual Deal. I Want Out––but He Won’t Let Me.
–– or From Hall Pass to Hell Pass.
At-risk teens and AI chatbot crisis: 'You need to know what's going on,' warns Talkspace CEO
–– 'So ask AI chatbot.'
This Is Exactly What To Do When You Can’t Fall Back Asleep, According to Experts
–– Try another park bench.
Dr. Roach: Woman wakes up with swollen fingers after a salty pasta dish
–– That I crawled all over remains of in sink. Delish!
The Only Way You Should Store Butter, According To Land O' Lakes
–– And Marlon Brando.
Dad, 38, Thought His Back Pain Was a Sign of Getting Older. He Died 2 Months Later
–– So he was old as he was going to get.
The One Word That Can Destroy a Friendship
–– Scrapbooking.
Man Who Was Arrested for 'Excessively' Kissing, Fondling Partner During Flight Receives Sentence
–– Bussted.
House of South Carolina Judge Criticized by Trump Administration Set Ablaze
–– Liberal terrorists!
Security footage reportedly shows Mark Sanchez following 69-year-old truck driver before stabbing: ‘This guy is trying to kill me'
–– Lucky he was always lousy at finishing play.
Ex-Jets star Mark Sanchez released from hospital, taken directly to jail after alleged drunken assault on elderly truck drive
–– Headed for career end zone.
O.J. Simpson's Lawyer Reveals The 'Stupid' Mistake Diddy Made That Cost The Rapper His Freedom
–– So lame when guilty pay for crimes.
Diddy Lawyer Says Sexual Prison Assault Is Real Concern
–– Will encourage visitors to smuggle in lube.
Diddy Requests to Serve Prison Sentence at Fort Dix
–– Hard time with Dix.
Idaho Killer Bryan Kohberger Struggling With Prison Life Due To Its Monotony Amid Frequent Complaints
–– What could be worse than dying of boredom?
Letter: Butch Cassidy lived long after the famous gunfight in South America
–– In freeze-frame.
See Stunning Feline Photography Revealing the Science of Cats
–– Dig tiny lab coats, itsy test tubes.
One of the largest great white sharks ever tagged pings in unusual spot
–– Your bedroom!
Florida has a serious python problem and the state is using this interesting technique to get rid of them
–– Deputizing them as ICE agents.
Scariest spiders on the planet: 9 creepy arachnids that may send shivers down your spine
–– 7. That thing above John Bolton’s lips.
9 terrifying real life animals straight from your nightmares: Bloodsuckers, predators and nature’s most horrifying beasts that strike fear and revulsion
–– 5. The sexual Matador!
Evolution Shocks Scientists in an Electric Battle against Invasive Bass
–– Smallmouth recreates Hendrix Star-Spangled Banner solo.
Baby giant tortoises thrive in Seychelles after first successful artificial incubation
–– Though hatchlings express ‘disappointment’ it’s on sinking archipelago.
Scientists resurrect 40,000-year-old organisms from Arctic ice – now they’re worried
–– Here’s The Thing!
Scientists Found a Miracle Drug in Easter Island’s Soil. The Natives Never Saw a Dime.
–– Obviously, locals were looking other way.
Rare 'sword dragon' with bite marks on skull found on UK coast. Experts know what killed it
–– Um, skull bites?
What did the Tudors think was ‘good’ sex? These tips and tricks were key to relationships in the 16th century
–– Taking it up tooter.
Archaeologists Found a Skeleton Wearing an Amulet That May Change the History of Christianity
–– Or, heaven help us, not.
Someone Donated These Mysterious Artifacts to a Thrift Shop. Experts Think They Might Date to Medieval Times
–– For the purposes of pricing them.
Down in a Pennsylvania Mine, I Saw Coal’s Future
–– Looks pretty black.
An Immense Solar Project Just Got Canceled Under Trump
–– Why they call him Mr. Sunshine.
Scientists Drilled So Deep Into the Center of the Earth, They Knocked on the Mantle’s Door
–– Mickey not in.
Kimberly Hébert Gregory, ‘Vice Principals’ Actress, Dies at 52
–– Expelled.
College basketball legend Sister Jean dies aged 106
–– Dribbles out.
Moody Blues Bassist-Singer John Lodge Dies at 82
–– Not livin’ Lodge.
