Fight Truth & Claude
Week of 09/18/26
Actual headlines from the internets. You Google 'em.
OpenAI says it found more instances of AI models acting deceptively
–– In bid for Trump Cabinet positions.
What Kevin Warsh said about the Fed’s first rate hike since 2023
–– Hut, hut!
Trump dismisses AI leaders’ calls to slow down, citing Chinese competition
–– From idiot who’s tech savvy ends with directing Natalie Harp to post slop.
OpenAI caught its models leaving notes to successors to hide bad behavior
–– Found Post-its on smart refrigerator.
An M.I.T. Report Warns A.I. Is Causing ‘Cognitive Surrender.’ Universities Are in a Bind.
–– Might be asked to actually teach again.
Microsoft and OpenAI Workers Worry About ‘Largest Theft of Labor’ in History
–– Won’t be issue in future when humans stop thinking.
Newsom creates panel on AI safety regulation, suggests possible ‘kill switch’
–– Like Staples Easy button?
Trump’s claim that ‘almost every item’ is getting cheaper comes up against a damning reality
–– He means anything he gets near is cheapened.
Iranian strikes have damaged hundreds of structures at U.S. bases, watchdog says
–– Guess U.S. didn't destroy all catapults.
Iran War cost hits $38 billion, forecast to rise $3 billion a month, CBO says
–– Wow, news couldn’t get much…
Iran war has cost $45.1 billion, Pentagon tells Congress
–– …worse!!!
Why Houthi control of the ‘Gate of Tears’ may be Iran’s biggest victory yet
–– Read it and weep.
US military says it destroyed 2 small Iranian boats trying to steal a sea drone
–– Sounds like tide’s really turning.
Saudi Arabia Faces ‘Worst-Case Scenario’ After Being Rebuffed by Trump
–– How much lower can you go?
Trump Moves Ahead With F-35 Jet Sales to Saudi Arabia Despite Intelligence Concerns
–– Refuses to renege on bribe.
Trump calls on Ukraine to halt strikes on Russian diesel fuel, saying attacks causing a shortage
–– Really pinpointing problem with world oil supplies.
US to allow Iran delegation to attend UN meetings in New York as war passes half-year
–– Offers to pay for gas.
China Stockpiled Oil, and Now It Could Dominate the Energy Landscape
–– Trump hoping to challenge in coal and whale oil from Greenland.
Pentagon Wants Only the Fittest Troops to Attend Upcoming Hegseth Speech
–– In hot pants.
Democrats seize on House GOP’s decision to leave town early
–– Throw kegger parties in empty offices.
Kennedy Center board votes to close venue as judge bars adding Trump’s name
–– Previous six month's on building's exterior caused all the 'damage.'
Kennedy Center could close as early as Tuesday, warns of bankruptcy, documents show
–– Final act had just performed full dress rehearsal.
Postal Service chief says work stopped on computer system key to Trump effort to limit mail voting
–– What a relief with statement from only government service reliable as Trump.
Trump withdraws his nominee to lead ICE
–– This fine, upstanding genius? Sir, you must reconsider!
DHS’s Mullin takes swipe at Florida Republican’s mass deportation concerns: ‘Every one of them was a criminal’
–– Finally getting real about ICE.
Raising the payroll tax would not fix Social Security
–– How about raising salaries, WaPo, then tax?
Ban on selling handguns to young adults under 21 is unconstitutional, Justice Department says
–– Draft plan to provide grade school kids with mini AK47s.
Blanche’s Political Campaigning Breaks an Ethical Norm Going Back to Watergate
–– His norm is like drunk in Cheers.
Kennedy Assures Vaccine Skeptics That They Have a ‘Friend at the White House’
–– Grim Reaper?
Trump targets more news outlets, saying he will ban CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House
–– Soon, coverage will just be Natalie Harp with selfie-stick.
Trump says son paid back Russian oligarch for wedding gift
–– Then must’ve absolutely, positively happened.
El-Sayed challenges Vance to weightlifting competition: 'You talk a good game'
–– For pair of dumbbells.
Why one Senate Republican says 'classic Mitch' has returned
–– Like classic sculture –– ancient, stiff, mute.
E.U. Talks of Making Canada First ‘Associate Member’ as U.S. Ties Weaken
–– Will be expected to carry full members’ portfolios, fetch Tim Hortons coffees.
Canada’s Carney embraces tighter ties with E.U. despite Trump warning
–– Getting into some kinky bondage stuff with von der Leyden.
–– Didn't have to nuke Nuuk?
Greenland, Denmark say US deal will not cede sovereignty
––
Even caribou are like, 'F**k off.'
The AI danger that matters most? Falling behind China.
–– In race to oblivion.
Modi pitches India as global chipmaking hub
–– We really like these.
Trump’s planned sale of controversial bombs to Israel is largest in years
–– Can only imagine his finder's fees blowing up records, too.
Why Israel Wants More One-Ton Bombs From the U.S. and Why the Sale Is Controversial
–– Netanyahu wants to be able to hear explosions at home while falling asleep.
Democrats demand to know where Venezuelan oil revenue is going
–– Don't Caracas up.
Why Karl Rove, a father of the modern Texas GOP, is voting for a Democrat
–– Party's sunk so low even bottom dwellers bob to top.
How Much Steve Kornacki Is Too Much Steve Kornacki
–– First time we read name in hed.
Weird and Wonderful, the Lucas Museum Lands in L.A.
–– From planet Tootootwee full of Hoth air.
Emmy Producers on Recruiting Taylor Swift, the Ideas She Brought to the Show and How This Year’s Telecast Wound Up Short
–– Waaay short.
Matthew Rhys Makes Emmy History as First Person to Win Two Lead Acting Emmys in One Night and First Man to Win All Three Top Acting Prizes
–– Emmy Welshed on deal.
Billie Lourd Has a Message for Lizzie Borden's Sister Emma Over 100 Years After Parents' Murders
–– We suggest she pass note through mom Carrie Fisher.
Original ‘Charlie’s Angels’ Stars Reunite at the Emmys to Honor the Late Farrah Fawcett: ‘The Shiniest Angel of Them All’
–– All looked shiny with skins tighter than drums.
Jaclyn Smith shares letter Kevin Costner wrote after 'LA Times' ‘hit piece’ in 1992
–– Bull forum.
Jaclyn Smith says Charlie’s Angels costar propositioned her for a threesome
–– Her, Tanya Roberts, guy talking dirty on phone.
Sally Field Becomes Oldest Emmy Winner in Her Category and Shades Paramount-Warner Bros. Merger: ‘Our Voices Matter’
–– And that category –– 'Freshest New Face!'
John Mulaney Steals the Emmys Show With “Men Being Men” Bit
-– Talk about petty theft.
Joe Rogan Calls Trump Fans 'F**king Nuts' And Says He's Been 'Left-Wing My Whole Life'
–– Has learned to lie shamelessly as Trump.
Karina Longworth on ‘The Bisexuals,’ the Latest Season of Her ‘You Must Remember This’ Podcast: ‘Even Progressive People’ Say ‘Bisexuality is a Myth’
–– We hear they go both ways.
Dakota Johnson looks nearly unrecognizable as Marilyn Monroe — see the photos
–– Yep, nothing like MM.
Ian Schrager Goes Public: “There’s Nothing More Boring Than a Room Full of Rich People”
–– Even little ol' him?
Zack Snyder Wants You to Know He’s No Fascist: ‘I Made the Gayest Movie Ever Made’
–– C’mon, Zack, there are gay Nazis.
27 Years Ago, This Famous Director Was Banned From 'Letterman' for Going Through Meryl Streep’s Purse
–– Quick, name ‘famous’ director of Julien Donkey-Boy.
He interviewed Tom Cruise for GQ. We interviewed him about how it went.
–– We promise we’re not interviewing you about that.
Why Matthew McConaughey Doesn’t Want to Take a DNA Test — Despite Woody Harrelson’s Insistence — to See if the Two Stars Are Really Brothers
–– Who can blame him?
Rob Lowe Went from High School 'Theater Nerd' to 'Girls Breaking into My House and Stealing My Underwear' After 'The Outsiders'
–– A brief history.
Tyler Perry explains why marriage is not a 'good idea for me'
–– Can't find that special 'Mr. Madea.'
Tove Lo Has a Lot of Feelings and No Solutions
–– Like everyone online.
’Gerbil’ Investigates the Richard Gere Rumor That Will Never Die — In 12 Deep-Dive Episodes
–– Don’t think we’ll burrow in.
Todd Bridges Recalls Disturbing Incident With ‘Wild’ Costar Dana Plato on Set of ‘Diff’rent Strokes’
–– Really diff’rent strokes.
Gillian Anderson, 58, Comes Out as Pansexual and Opens Up About Previous Relationships With Women
–– Who were chefs?
Director Paul Verhoeven reiterates ‘Starship Troopers’ is about ‘Nazis’ after Trump invokes film
–– It’s giant insects Trump really identifies with.
Chanel West Coast Has a Question for Everyone Saying She’s Not Rap or Country: ‘So What Am I Then?'
–– Sort of joke?
Sesame Street Transforms Chappell Roan's 'Hot to Go!' Into the Potty-Training Anthem 'Got to Go,' With Lead Vocals From Cookie Monster
–– Uses sheet music as toilet paper.
How is Chris Brown still this popular?
–– How did Michael make a billion bucks?
Ed Sheeran Says Dropping Macklemore From Tour Was ‘Promoter’s Decision, Not Mine,’ Explains Why He’s Not Speaking Out on Israel and Palestine
–– Not as dumb as Macklemore.
Robert Kraft Says Ed Sheeran Is Donating $2 Million to ‘Fight This Humanitarian Crisis’ in Gaza, and Kraft Is Matching Him: ‘All Lives Are Worth Protecting’
–– See above.
Princess Diana’s brother claims Charles said she would be forgotten ‘soon enough’ just days after her death
–– Nice to hear what she said from beyond grave.
Hyrox Athlete Apologizes and Forfeits Win After Soiling Herself in Race
–– Competitors kept bringing up rear.
Record-breaking ultrarunner has 500ml of pus drained from leg: ‘I just didn’t quite feel right’
–– Now neither do we.
I’m Getting Tattoos on Removed My Dark Skin—Here’s What I Wish I Knew Before My Laser Treatments
–– And before writing incoherent headlines.
Lead you absorbed as a child may cause dementia as you age
–– Could explain Fox News.
Having a parent live to 100 gives you a leg up on longevity, study finds
–– From Institute of D’uh.
Why You Keep Waking Up at 3 AM, According to Science
–– Science gets drunk, butt-dials.
This Diet Could Make You Look Hotter and Smell Better. Here's How It Works.
–– Eat freshly-laundered linen while sitting atop space heater.
What Makes a Great Vegetarian Sandwich?
–– Diners with low standards.
A slow eater’s guide to surviving Hong Kong’s light-speed dining culture
–– Wolf at the door?
I Compared KFC and Popeyes Fried Chicken—One Was Crispier, Juicier, and Better Seasoned
–– Exiting my body.
Should You Panic When Your Server Doesn’t Write Anything Down?
–– Should you knock them to ground, straddle them, write order in pen on forehead?
US schools and police warn about viral ‘Cat in the Hat’ trend after teens’ arrests
–– Have a Thing One or Thing Two to say about it.
Louisiana woman faces charges after 17 cats found dead in extreme-heat conditions
–– Died of horniness?
The pirates arrived with AK-47s. They took us hostage – then the torture began
–– They could fire with hooks?
Passenger Next to Man Was Duct-Taped to Seat on Flight Recalls Moment He Was Put in a Chokehold
–– By flight attendant when he asked for more nuts!
Mystery Deepens After Aspiring Rapper Who Was ‘Afraid of Heights’ Is Found Dead in School Chimney
–– What was he, smoking?
Starting with a male and female rabbit on 1 January – how many could you have by New Year’s Eve?
–– 1,182 with lots of jumping of bones.
Chimpanzee mothers offer new clues about how humans respond to death
–– When killed by ape.
Eva Shockey says women don't have to abandon their femininity to belong in the outdoors
–– Can use wiles to seduce threatening bears.
It wiped out 90% of life on Earth, turned the oceans into graveyards – and it very nearly ended life on our planet entirely
–– Satan –– ask any ultra-conservative Christian.
Toxic Fracking Waste Bubbling Up in Ohio Is Becoming a Political Issue
–– And battling Cleveland for state's least-appealing feature.
See how polar glaciers have lost trillions of tons of ice
–– If news isn’t getting you down far enough.
The hidden risks of noise pollution
–– We can’t hear you!
Gerrit Graham, Actor in ‘Phantom’ of the Pradise.’ Screenwriter and Grateful Dead Collaborator, Dies at 77
–– Kill o'Graham.
Duncan Sheik, ‘Barely Breathing’ Hitmaker and ‘Spring Awakening’ Stage Composer, Dies at 56
–– Sheik down.
