Medevax
Week of 02/14/25
Actual headlines from the internets. You Google 'em.
RFK Jr. confirmed, elevating anti-vaccine activist to nation’s top health post
–– Sick transit.
Why America should keep promoting democracy
–– Like having to tell moron to breathe.
Kentucky senator reacts to RFK Jr. confirmation as nation’s health secretary: ‘Mr. Kennedy failed’
–– And will continue to do so.
Every 100 Years America Produces a Robert Kennedy Jr.
–– An inoperable brain tumor that's contagious.
‘The Boss of Everyone and Everything’: Trump Seeks to Influence Many Spheres
–– And turn whole world into Taj Mahal Casino.
House Republicans unveil blueprint to extend $4.5 trillion in tax cuts and lift the debt ceiling
–– Settling for EFT directly from Treasury into wealthy patrons' bank accounts.
House GOP Makes Official Its Plan For Devastating Cuts To Medicaid
–– Do expect expanded coverage of patients with dirt.
The GOP’s budget plan: Tax cuts for the rich, austerity for the poor
— Wouldn’t just killing poor be more cost effective?
Trump’s cuts hit red states, triggering GOP pushback
–– Where no billionaires would be caught dead.
Inflation is Trump’s problem now
–– Head is size of prize pumpkin.
US retail spending plunged last month, falling for the first time since August
–– Trump bump on head.
Americans are finding it harder and harder to pay off their debt
–– Trump Depression just around corner.
Trump administration begins mass firings across government
–– Mandates each termination include clip from The Apprentice.
Is there anyone in government Trump can’t fire? Why Humphrey’s Executor may be in peril at the Supreme Court
–– When they find selves let go.
Trump officials fired nuclear staff not realizing they oversee the country’s weapons stockpile, sources say
–– And not understanding words nuclear, radioactive, half-life.
If Musk is finding so much fraud, why won't Trump show the evidence?
–– Not keeping records of his own.
Musk Team’s Treasury Access Raises Security Fears, Despite Judge’s Ordered Halt
–– Fears of world's richest dope fiend with world's biggest conflicts of interest?
Musk's role 'an unbelievable opportunity' for US government: Rep. Turner
–– Exactly, what part of his treachery can you believe?
14 states file a lawsuit arguing Elon Musk's authority at DOGE is unconstitutional
–– Where are other 36?
Trump administration directs agency heads to fire most probationary staff
–– Directed by president who doesn’t deserve probation.
U.S. plan to award $400M vehicle contract removes reference to Musk’s Tesla
–– So efficient to have industry write own grants.
Trump takes aim at officials who police agency wrongdoing, protect workers
–– To be replaced by January 6 rioters issued spiked billy clubs.
Anderson Cooper Snaps At Trump-Defending Chris Sununu On Live TV: ‘Don’t Be A Dick’
–– How about, ‘to thine own self be true?'
Trump wants to abolish the Education Department. It’s a waste of time.
–– Which?
“We’ve Been Essentially Muzzled”: Department of Education Halts Thousands of Civil Rights Investigations Under Trump
–– By dogs.
Linda McMahon grilled on Trump's plans for the Education Department at Senate confirmation hearing
–– To be fair, shuttered department only one she’s qualified to run.
New Kennedy Center board elects Trump chair, fires Rutter as president
–– Leaving organization Rutterless.
Consumer financial watchdog is ordered by acting director to stop fighting financial abuse
–– Goal is to privatize fraud.
Trump’s NIH challenges the model that underlies U.S. scientific dominance
–– Research and destroy.
Trump instructs Treasury to halt penny production
–– Predictably penny-ante.
‘He’s sort of an oddity’: Republicans mythologize Barron Trump, but his NYU classmates tell a different story
–– Barron Munchausen’s.
Tulsi Gabbard confirmed as Trump’s director of national intelligence
–– Nazdrovye!
Sen. Andy Kim says he’s open to shutting down the government if Trump continues dismantling agencies
–– While stamping feet.
Trump Doubles Down on CBS ’60 Minutes’ Lawsuit, Now Wants $20 Billion
–– And eye gouged out.
They trained on diversity under Trump. Now he’s punishing them for it.
–– Now receiving primer in perversity.
US tariffs would stack for Canada, official says as countries condemn Trump moves
–– Like flapjacks smothered in overpriced maple syrup.
US inflation heats up to 3% for first time since June
–– Trump threatens tariffs on statisticians.
High egg prices weren’t Biden’s fault. They’re not Trump’s either, but they’re his problem now
–– Birdbrain flu is.
Does Uncertainty Harm the Economy? Business Leaders Are About to Find Out.
–– How about unintelligence?
Bernie Sanders launches high-profile offensive against 'the oligarchy'
–– Bern notice.
Mace alleges sexual abuse, rape in stunning House floor speech
–– Woolly Mace.
Steve Bannon pleads guilty to defrauding donors in private border wall scheme
–– Swears Mexicans will pay for it.
Protesters Rally Against Deletion of ‘Transgender’ on Stonewall Website
–– Should expect plenty of stonewalling in next four years.
JFK Wanted You to Watch This Movie Before He Was Assassinated
–– Now you can live it.
Venezuelans backed Trump. Now some worry he’ll deport them.
–– Bueno.
Acting US attorney in New York quits after being told to drop Eric Adams case
–– Only because demand was totally illegal, immoral.
After Meeting With Trump’s Border Czar, Adams Opens Rikers to ICE Agents
–– This week in ‘Coinkydinks.’
Vance berates European leaders as tensions with close allies burst into the open
–– They did love his Greta Thunberg quip.
German Chancellor Rebukes Vance for Supporting Party That Downplays Nazis
–– Reich-wing nut.
Trump says he wants Russia back in the G7
–– With special invasion privileges.
Trump has call with Putin, kick-starting bid to end Russia’s war in Ukraine
–– By starting to kick Ukraine.
Ukraine says it will not accept US-Russia peace deal reached without Kyiv
–– Will have to when US starts arming Putin.
Russian strike on Chernobyl plant is a war crime, Ukraine’s security service says
–– Trump labels love tap.
Even in Death, Navalny Is Seen by the Kremlin as an Enduring Threat
–– Still has more charisma than Putin.
King Abdullah rebuffs Trump’s push for Jordan to take in displaced Palestinians
–– Which is like repolishing turd.
Georgia’s First Jewish Senator Is Losing Jewish Support
–– Ossoff now.
Palmerston, the British Foreign Service Cat, Takes Up New Post in Bermuda
–– Smarter than any foreign diplomat Trump’s chosen.
The Reason Why Encyclopaedia Britannica Refuses To Rename The Gulf Of Mexico Is Going Viral
–– It’s fantasy of ignorant troll?
Sam Altman fires back at Elon Musk: ‘I don’t think he’s a happy person. I feel for him’
–– With a blackjack.
Exclusive: Secret Service airing recruitment ad from Hollywood director Michael Bay during Super Bowl
–– To attract pinheads Trump needs.
Ed Sheeran busted by Indian police for busking without permission
–– Busked?
Singer-Activist Buffy Sainte-Marie Stripped of Order of Canada, the Country’s Most Prestigious Civilian Honor
–– Has to give back candy-coated chocolate maple leaf.
Disney+ to Change Content Warnings Ahead of ‘Dumbo,’ ‘Peter Pan’ and More Old Movies Amid DEI Strategy Shift
–– Don’t even have courage of their gutlessness.
Denzel Washington bit his tongue 'almost half-off', says it's 'affecting my speech'
–– Is he licked?
Starz Drops ‘Power Book III: Raising Kanan’ Season 4 Trailer Starring Patina Miller, Mekai Curtis
–– In bid for worst sequel title ever.
‘Captain America: Brave New World’ Draws Mixed First Reactions, Some Praising as an ‘Absolute Blast’ and Others Saying It’s ‘Slightly Empty’
–– Like ‘slightly pregnant?’
‘Captain America: Brave New World’ First Reactions After Premiere: “A Thrill Ride From Start to Finish”
–– Quoting film’s producer.
Critics Have Seen Captain America: Brave New World, And Are Angrier Than A Red Hulk Over How It Turned Out
–– Using emotion capture tech.
Even Murray Bartlett is Excited for ‘The White Lotus’ Season Three: “It’s an Incredible Cast”
–– ‘You remember me from season one? Crapped in a suitcase. Yep, I’m still workin’. M’email is…’
These People Are Exhausting: Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively’s Struggle for Control
–– Don’t hate them because they’re tiresome egomaniacs.
Emotional Kelly Ripa Is Comforted By Mark Consuelos On ‘Live’ After Admitting She’s “Still Not Over” Her Dog’s Death
–– We were halfway through this headline.
Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs Files $100 Million Defamation Suit Against NBCUniversal, Ample and Peacock Over ‘Making of a Bad Boy’ Doc
–– Got to defend his ‘good name.’
Bob the Drag Queen Has an Ideal Ending for ‘The Traitors’: “I Want Danielle Reyes to Win By Herself”
–– Wouldn’t that be perfectamundo!
Lorne Michaels Said ‘SNL’ Is ‘Nonpartisan’ and ‘You Can’t Be Samantha Bee.’ She Now Claps Back: He’s ‘Built a Career Out of Elevating the Loudest Guy in the Room’
–– That's gotta hurt if you can explain it.
‘S.N.L.’ Weekend Update: 50 Seasons of Mocking News and Minting Stars
–– And minimizing laughs.
Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer Bring Back The Culps to Sing 'Not Like Us' and Roast Kendrick Lamar-Drake Beef at 'SNL50': 'Maybe You Two Can Hug It Out'
–– Held Culpable for bombing?
Pete Davidson Opens Up About Being 'Harassed' Over His Dating Life 'Because I'm Ugly': 'Pretty Humiliating and Upsetting'
–– Gnarly Davidson.
John Lithgow ‘Disappointed’ Over ‘Conclave’ Director’s Oscar Snub, Says ‘I Was Very Self-Conscious’ Going Full Frontal in Sundance’s ‘Jimpa’
— Hanging low.
Jalen Hurts toasts Philly fans at Super Bowl parade: ‘I know about this city, one thing we do, we fight
–– ‘With other fans.’
New York Jets announce they are moving on from quarterback Aaron Rodgers
–– Know there are cheaper QBs who can produce 5-win season.
Cristiano Ronaldo was the highest paid athlete in 2024 on a list which featured no women in the top 100
–– Maybe viewers need to be paid to watch more womens sports.
Super Bowl 2025 Scores Record $800 Million-Plus in Ad Sales for Fox Corp., Tubi
–– Every rotten ad more exciting than game.
No. 1 Jannik Sinner gets 3-month ban in doping settlement
–– Considers changing name to avoid future censure.
One of Paris’ most popular attractions is closing for 5 years. It’s about to be ‘reinvented’
–– Pompidou and circumstance.
McDonald's Has Had Secret Birthday Cakes This Whole Time. Here's How To Get One
–– That's been sitting in freezer since 1986.
Don’t yuck their yum: Delaware muskrat is back on menus & some people love it. Seriously
–– Even Captain & Tennille puking in Hereafter.
Joann, the bankrupt fabrics retailer, is closing 500 of its 800 stores
–– Clothsed?
Late 'American Pickers' Star Frank Fritz Involved in Legal Battle Months After His Death
–– Justice on the Fritz.
I'm a model — any man who wants to marry me should pay 'husband tax' to maintain my hot body
–– And pay to have head examined.
Transgender, vegan 'Zizian' cult linked to Vermont border agent killing dependent on zapping human emotions
–– Fox News: We report, you decide what the hell we mean.
Man’s pop-up urinal death may never be explained, family fears
–– Was he pissed-off?
Westminster Dog Show results: Monty the giant schnauzer makes history with Best in Show win
–– First winner named after game show host!
Sea turtles ‘dance’ when their superpower leads them to food
–– To Unchained Melody slowed down to 4 bpm.
Is there a name for a group of snakes?
–– DOGE?
“This does not look like normal hunting behaviour”: remarkable footage shows orcas hunting in a way never filmed before
–– With crossbows!
Which mammal holds its breath the longest? Meet the extreme deep-sea diver that can hold its breath for almost 4 hours
–– Impressive if a squirrel, less so when a huge whale.
Santorini is at the center of a mystery: Why do earthquakes keep shaking the island?
–– Not what earthquakes do?
The Fear After the Fire: How Toxic Is L.A.’s Air?
–– Code red around talent agencies.
In rural West Texas, a measles outbreak grows with no end in sight
–– RFK Jr. prescribes leeches.
Louisiana Health Department Says It Will Stop Promoting ‘Mass Vaccination’
–– How’s bayou?
