TELEVISION

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The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (Netflix) –– Crystal mess.
The Spy (Netflix) –– Mos' odd agent.
Wu-Tang: An American Saga (Hulu) –– Clan with a plan.
Linda Ronstadt: The Sound of My Voice (CNN) –– Blue by you.
Carnival Row (Amazon) –– Barker lounger.
This Way Up (Hulu) –– Down mark it.
On Becoming a God in Central Florida (SHO) –– Do wha’ diety?
Wu Assassins (Netflix) –– Wu is me.
Jim Gaffigan: Quality Time (Amazon) –– Quality is familiarity.


The Righteous Gemstones (HBO) –– Preach around.
Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready (Netflix) –– They ain’t.
Why Women Kill (CBS All Acccess) –– Castacide.
The Terror: Infamy (AMC) –– Intern for the worse.
Diagnosis (Netflix) –– Fatal detraction.
Our Boys (HBO) –– Gaza guzzler.
Judge Jerry (CW) –– Jerry-rigged.
Flip It Like Disick (E!) –– The bird.
Another Life (Netflix) –– Alien fisher.

Lights Out with David Spade (COM) –– Snooze to me.
Four Weddings and a Funeral (Hulu) –– Dead, wed.
The Boys (Amazon) –– In the bland.
Sherman’s Showcase (IFC) –– Sherman tanked.
Pennyworth (Epix) –– Is about what you get.
The Great Hack (Netflix) –– Made this.
Pearson (USA) –– Chicago black squawks.
Love Island (CBS) –– Key exchange.
Shangri-La (SHO) –– Rubin the wrong way.
Bring the Funny (NBC) –– Because it ain't here.
The Movies (CNN) –– Flicker license.
South Side (COM) –– Chi of a full deck.
Florida Girls (Pop) –– AntiFla.
Aziz Ansari: Right Now (Netflix) –– Wrong then.
Pandora (CW) –– Penalty box.
The Hills: New Beginnings (MTV) –– The Hills are ajive.
Stranger Things Three (Netflix) –– Dead is Hopper?
Frankenstein’s Monster’s Monster, Frankenstein (Netflix) –– Sag Harbour.
Years and Years (HBO) –– Jeers and jeers.
The Rook (Starz) –– Rooky mistake.
Too Old to Die Young (Amazon) –– Dies anyway.
Grand Hotel (ABC) –– Lack-a-room humor.
Alternatino With Arturo Castro (COM) –– Fiddle Castro.
The Loudest Voice (SHO) –– Pale Ailes.
Reef Break (ABC) –– Queef break.
Das Boot (Hulu) –– Give da boot.
I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson (Netflix) –– Or just leave.
Rolling Thunder Revue (Netflix) –– Dylan pickle.
Los Espookys (HBO) –– Dead Los.
City on a Hill (SHO) –– Boston blackly.
Jett (Cinemax) –– Groan Jett.
Chasing Happiness (Amazon) –– Jonas hell.
The 2019 Tony Awards (CBS) –– Cut the Corden.
Murder Mystery (Netflix) –– Leads’ nowhere.
Unspouse My House (HGTV) –– Unmate bed.
Tales of the City (Netflix) –– Armistead mopin’.
Euphoria (HBO) –– High and lowest.
Trinkets (Netflix) –– Ewwgaws.
Perpetual Grace, LTD. (Epix) –– Round the crock.
The Weekly (FX) –– Times ‘sup.
Unidentified: Inside America’s UFO Investigation (HIST) –– Saucer eyed.
American Princess (Lifetime) –– Ren faire and square.
Swamp Thing (DC Universe) –– Moss the pity.
NOS4A2 (AMC) –– NOT4U2.
Songland (NBC) –– Tough ditty.
Good Omens (Amazon) –– Signs off.
Deadwood: The Movie (HBO) –– Dakota fanning.
All in the Family &The Jeffersons Live (ABC) –– Redo over.
The InBetween (NBC) –– Middle of nowhere.
When They See Us (Netlix) –– Central Park jive.
What/If (Netflix) –– Speculative friction.
Game of Thrones: The Last Watch (HBO) –– Post boredom.
Klepper (COM) –– Jordan spiel.
Blood & Treasure (CBS) –– Out in troves.
L.A.’s Finest (Spectrum Originals) –– Poor L.A.
The Society (Netflix) –– Anomie of the people.
Bonding (Netflix) –– Wimps and chains.
The Spanish Princess (Starz)–– Aragoner.
Catch-22 (Hulu) –– Heller bad.
Dead to Me (Netflix) –– Us, too.
Tuca & Bertie (Netflix) –– Bye bye, Bertie.
The Hot Zone (Nat Geo) –– Sick and tired.
The Red Line (CBS) –– Guilt drip.
Chernobyl (HBO) –– Batty melt.
Chambers (Netflix) –– Bled Chambers.
The Call to Courage (Netflix) –– Leaves a message.
Boss: The Black Experience in Business (PBS) –– CEffedO.
Lunatics (Netflix) –– Wackadoodle doo.
Huge in France (Netflix) –– Grand pricks.
Gentleman Jack (HBO) –– The britches’ back.
Homecoming (Netflix) –– Bey watch.
Special (Netflix) –– Not really.
Bless This Mess (ABC) –– Flush this slush.
The Code (CBS) –– Brown.
Warrior (CInemax) –– Utter Kungfusion.
Unicorn Store (Netflix) –– Twee, dull, dumb.
Someone Great (Netflix) –– Might’ve helped this.
The Perfect Date (Netflix) –– Bored of trystees.
Sickboy (Fuse) –– Croak fiends.
Native Son (HBO) –– Not Wright.
Ultraman (Netflix) –– Ultra unsound.
Mrs. Wilson (PBS) –– Blabby Ruth.
Les Miserables (PBS) –– The Fantine menace.
In the Dark (CW) –– Totally.
Irresponsible (Netflix) –– Hart to watch.
The Twilight Zone (CBS All Access) –– Serling ¿qué? brown.
Hanna (Amazon) –– And her blisters.
Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists (Freeform) –– Perfectly awful.
Abby’s (NBC) –– Abyss.
Ramy (Hulu) –– Ramy noodles.
The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley (HBO) –– The Holmes stretch.
Growing (Netflix) –– Groaning.
The Village (NBC) –– Of the dumbed.
Project Runway (Bravo) –– Stitcher premium.
Fosse/Verdon (FX) –– All flat jazz.
The Fix (ABC) –– Is out.
Aretha! A Grammy Celebration for the Queen of Soul (CBS) –– Franklin minned.
Tricky Dick (CNN) –– Nixon-knack.
Shrill (Hulu) –– Big girl pants.
Turn Up Charlie (Netflix) –– Turn down Charlie.
The Act (Hulu) –– Tough Act to follow.
After Life (Netflix) –– Ricky lack.
Leaving Neverland (HBO) –– Jackson hole.
Losers (Netflix) –– The audience.
The Widow (Amazon) –– Postmortem depression.
The Case Against Adnan Syed (HBO) –– Serial killer.
The Enemy Within (NBC) –– And without.
Flack (Pop) –– Jerk it.
91st Academy Awards (ABC) –– Hostless twinkies.
O.G. (HBO ) –– Oh, Geez.
Weird City (YouTube Premium) –– Oddville.
Doom Patrol (DC Universe) –– Doctored Doom.
Desus & Mero (SHO) ––Terrible twos.
The Giant Beast That is the Global Economy (Amazon) –– Money clips.
The World’s Best (CBS) –– Worst taste scenario.
Proven Innocent (Fox) –– Guilty displeasure.
Miracle Workers (TBS) –– Might save this.
The ABC Murders (Amazon) –– Irk you, Poirot.
Breslin and Hamill: Deadline Artists (HBO) –– Alte tab.
Lorena (Amazon) –– Choppy.
Trigger Warning with Killer Mike (Netflix) –– Mike stands.
State of the Union (SundanceTV) –– Mirage counseling.
Rent (FOX) –– Low Rent.
Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes (Netflix) –– Dumb Bundy.
Informer (Amazon) –– Rat busted.
Polar (Netflix) –– Polar excess.
Medici: The Magnificent (Netflix) –– Firenze ick psychology.
Russian Doll (Netflix) –– Nesty.
Close (Netflix) –– But no cigar.
Fyre (Netflix) –– In the hole.
Fyre Fraud (Hulu) –– Fyre extinguisher.
Butterfly (Hulu) –– Kitsch.
Dynasties (BBC America) –– Endangered specious.
Whiskey Cavalier (ABC) –– WC handy.
Flack (Pop) –– Of effort.
You (Netflix) –– You and meh.
Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (Netflix) –– Kondo minimum.
Proven Innocent (Fox) –– Trial buffoon.
The Umbrella Academy (Netflix) –– Down. Poor.
Miracle Workers (TBS) –– Heaven scent.
PEN15 (Hulu) –– PEN15 sighs.
Elvis Goes There (Epix) –– In the toilet.
Black Earth Rising (Netflix) –– Rwanda psychs.
The Other Two (COM) –– Just duet.
Black Monday (SHO) –– Crashing bore.
I Am the Night (TNT) –– Nocturnal admission.
The Passage (Fox) –– Schlock corridor.
A Discovery of Witches (Sundance Now) –– Coven spoonful.
Carmen San Diego (Netflix) –– San Diego sharters.
Deadly Class (Syfy) –– Assassinine.
Roswell, New Mexico (CW) –– Rots well.
Fam (CBS) –– iliar.
Schooled (ABC) –– Detention deficit disorder.
Project Blue Book (HIST) –– Space and neuters.
Good Trouble (Freeform) –– Smells Trouble.
The Masked Singer (Fox) –– Gassed Masked.
Tidying Up With Marie Kondo (Netflix) –– Neat freak.
Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club (MTV) –– Coca cabana.
America’s Got Talent: The Champions (NBC) –– Disability assurance.
76th Annual Golden Globes (NBC) –– Global worming.
Racing Wives (CMT) –– Can’t keep track.
The Titan Games (NBC) –– Giant waste of time.
Black Mirrror: Bandersnatch (Netflix) –– Reflected gory.
2036 Origin Unknown (Netflix) –– Born under a bad sigh.
Vanity Fair (Amazon) –– Becky with the good heir.
Ellen DeGeneres: Relatable (Netflix) –– DeGeneres to a fault.
Derry Girls (Netflix) –– Derry err.
Watership Down (Netflix) –– Wha’ hoppin’?
The Innocent Man (Netflix) –– Too Sooner.
RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular (VH1) –– X-mess.
Springsteen on Broadway (Netflix) –– Cold Bruce.
Nightflyers (Syfy) –– Flapdoodle.
Baby (Netflix) –– Puttana happy face.
Queen America (Facebook Watch) –– Squeaky Queen.
Trevor Noah; Son of Patricia (Netflix) –– Pat.
Enemies: The President, Justice & The FBI (SHO) –– Laws of detraction.
The Bisexual (Hulu) –– Double crasser.
Jonestown: Terror in the Jungle (SundanceTV) –– Most unkindest cult of all.
The Clinton Affair (A&E) –– Panter Monica.
Snatches (BBC America) –– Boxy.
Dirty John (Bravo) –– Call the janitor.
Escape at Dannemora (HBO) –– Give me a break.
Sally4Ever (HBO) –– Sally froth.
The Kominsky Method (HBO) –– Douglas shirk.
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) –– She-rot.
Shut Up and Dribble (SHO) –– Full court depress.
Patriot Act (Netflix) –– Sticky Minhaj.
Tell Me a Story (CBS All Access) –– Repeater pan.
Legacies (CW) –– Degeneration gap.
Crikey! It’s the Irwins (Animal Planet ) –– Creaky.
Elite (Netflix) –– Delete.
The Conners (ABC) –– Roseanne barred.
The Rookie (ABC) –– Trainee wreck.
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Netflix) –– Witchy-watchy.
The Alec Baldwin Show (ABC) –– Smarm Alec.
Wanderlust (Netflix) –– Squander lust.
The Kids Are Alright (ABC) –– Son spots.
The Little Drummer Girl (AMC) –– Beat’s off.
Titans (DC Universe) –– Ass wimping.
Bodyguard (Netflix) –– Watching the defectives.
My Dinner With Hervé (HBO) –– Small fry.
Camping (HBO) –– Tentative.
All American (CW) –– Lineblacker.
The Family Business: Trump and Taxes (SHO) –– I are ass.
The Romanoffs (Amazon) –– Biz czar.
Queen of the World (HBO) –– Liz myth.
Nappily Ever after (Netlix) –– Curly girl.
Magnum P.I. (CBS) –– Hawaiian punches.
The Neighborhood (CBS) –– Move out.
FBI (CBS) –– Snooze Bureau.
Happy Together (CBS) –– Lodger and me.
The Haunting of Hill House (Netflix) –– Haunts catch-up.
God Friended Me (CBS) –– Holy troller.
Dancing Queen (Netflix) –– Knock down, drag out.
Manifest (NBC) –– Density.
New Amsterdam (NBC) –– Hospital clown.
The Cool Kids (Fox) –– IRL grey.
Into the Dark: The Body (Hulu) –– Where the sun don’t shine.
Murphy Brown (CBS) –– Bear the Bergen.
A Million Little Things (ABC) –– Wee we.
Single Parents (ABC) –– Rear window.
Mr In-between (FX) –– Parent hood.
New Amsterdam (NBC) –– O bummer care.
Valley of the Boom (Nat Geo) –– Busty.
The Good Cop (Netflix) –– Badge blood.
King Lear (Netflix) –– Tony Hopkins.
I Feel Bad (NBC) –– You should.
Maniac (Netflix) –– Mad gab.
70th Primetime Emmy Awards (NBC) –– Jost, Che, no.
The Hunt for the Trump Tapes (Viceland) –– Arnold palm off.
Warriors of Liberty City (Starz) –– Weepee football.
American Horror Story: Apocalypse (FX) –– Tail end agency.
Rel (Fox) –– Axe.
The Bad Seed (Lifetime) –– Deadened kid.
The Angel (Netflix) –– Mos’ odd agent.
Norm McDonald Has a Show (Netflix) –– E-i-e-i-uggh.
Kidding (SHO) –– Carrey: the Load.
You (LIFE) –– Haul.
The Bobby Brown Story (BET) –– Brown noser.
The Purge (USA) –– Down the Drano.
Mayans MC (FX) –– MC hummer.
The Children Act (DirecTV) –– Badly.
One Dollar (CBS All Access) –– Buck naked.
Forever (Amazon) –– Feels longer.
The First (Hulu) –– Astronaught.
Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan (Amazon) –– Ryan's hopeless.
To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (Netflix) –– Beau dreck.
Like Father (Netflix) –– Hate Father.
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (Netflix) –– Spudders.
The Innocents (Netflix) –– Somebody’s guilty here.
Ordeal by Innocence (Netflix) –– Ughatha Christie.
Betty White: First Lady of Television (PBS) –– Air bag.
Carter (WGN) –– Don’t get Carter.
The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (Syfy) –– For Last part.
Disenchantment (Netflix) –– Fable attraction.
Random Acts of Flyness (HBO ) –– Blackout sketchy.
All About the Washingtons (Netflix) –– Rev Run ick.
Insatiable (Netflix) –– Full of it.
Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story (Paramount) –– Trayvon lunatic.
Making It (NBC) –– DIWhy?
Eat. Race. Win. (Amazon) –– Puke.
Lodge 49 (AMC) –– In Lodge part.
Sacred Lies (Facebook Watch) –– Holy moldy.
Who Is America? (SHO) –– Disguise the limit.
Father of the Year (Netflix) –– Jerk of Spade’s.
Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind (HBO) –– Morkish.
Sharp Objects (HBO) –– Dull subjects.
Bobcat Goldthwait’s Misfits & Monsters (TruTV) –– Odder nonsense.
Castle Rock (Hulu) –– King of hearse.
Paid Off (TruTV) –– Debt beat.
The Outpost (CW) –– Remote excess.
Sacred Games (Netflix) –– Sikh’s revenge.
The Break with Michelle Wolf (Netflix) –– Break rank.
A Very English Scandal (Amazon) –– MisanThorpe.
Take Two (ABC) –– To the jaw.
Kiss Me First (Netflix) –– On my ass.
The Proposal (ABC) –– Vow of poverty.
Believer (HBO) –– More men!
Love Is __ (OWN) –– Mal blank.
Strange Angel (CBS All Access) –– Wing dinged.
Deep State (Epix) –– Conspiracy of dunces.
American Woman (Paramount) –– Bile Richards.
Impulse (YouTube Red) –– Dim pulse.
Yellowstone (Paramount) –– Bit the ranch.
C.B. Strike (Cinemax) –– Strike out.
Dietland (AMC) –– Diet pill.
Succession (HBO) –– Fam fatale.
Marvel’s Cloak & Dagger (Freeform) –– Grave Dagger.
John McCain: For Whom the Bell Tolls (HBO) –– Not for thee.
Undeniable with Joe Buck (Audience) –– Unreliable.
The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (Amazon) –– Off the rack.
The Fourth Estate (SHO) –– Gray Lady down.
Ibiza (Netflix) –– Bit playa.
Evil Genius (Netflix) –– Blast gasp.
Pose (FX) –– Strike.
Cargo (Netflix) –– A load.
Anon (Netflix) –– Starter.
Motherland (Sundance Now) –– Plaster of parents.
Fahrenheit 451 (HBO) –– Flame retardant.
Cobra Kai (YouTube Red) –– Lame chops.
Little Women (PBS) –– Alcott to be kidding.
Being Serena (HBO) –– Backhanded compliment.
Picnic at Hanging Rock (Amazon) –– No picnic.
Collateral (Netflix) –– Damaged.
The Rain (Netflix) –– Drippy.
Pass Over (Amazon) –– Good advice.
Patrick Melrose (SHO) –– Melrose displaced.
Vida (Starz) –– Latina fey.
The Week Of (Netflix) –– Seven days in dismay.
Andre the Giant (HBO) –– Stunted.
Rellik (Cinemax) –– Scar phase.
Sweetbitter (Starz) –– Unsavory.
Genius: Picasso (Nat Geo) –– Pab-lum.
Safe (Netflix) –– Unsound.
Alex, Inc. (ABC) –– Biz-poor.
Come Sunday (Netflix) –– Rev runt.
Bobby Kennedy for President (Netflix) –– Bobby ‘smurder.
Howards End (Starz) –– Cottage cheese.
Splitting Up Together (ABC) –– Spitting up.
Lost in Space (Netflix) –– Astrayphysics.
Troy: Fall of a City (Netflix) –– Troy harder.
Killing Eve (BBC America) –– Add dumb and Eve.
The Terror (AMC) –– Frozen tropes.
Paterno (HBO) –– Pig Penn State.
The Crossing (ABC) –– Of the eyes.
Station 19 (ABC) –– Fire bugs.
Roseanne (ABC) –– Lowers the Barr.
The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling (HBO) –– Hipping and Shandling.
Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert (NBC) –– Legend of the fall.
One Strange Rock (Nat Geo) –– Earth goals are easy.
Alexa & Katie (Netflix) –– Alexa, turn this off.
Genius Junior (NBC) –– Brainy acts.
On My Block (Netflix) –– Chuck-a-Block.
Love and Sex Around the World (CNN) –– Amen poor.
The Frankenstein Chronicles (Netflix) –– Patchwork killed.
The Last O.G. (TBS) –– Gangsta wrap.
Instinct (CBS) –– It stinked.
For the People (ABC) –– Pity them.
Deception (ABC) –– Slight of ham.
American Idol (ABC) –– Sentenced to sing sing.
O.J. Simpson: The Lost Confession? (Fox) –– Admit defeat.
Life Sentence (CW) –– Plus a day.
A.P. Bio (NBC) –– Advanced placemat.
Champions (NBC) –– Champ dully.

TOP

McMafia (AMC) –– McMuffin’.
Seven Seconds (Netflix) –– Give it six.
Heathers (Paramount) –– Bitched battle.
Atlanta Robbin' Season (FX) –– Peach clobberer.
Hard Sun (Hulu) –– Hard, son.
Flint Town (Netflix) –– Mishigas state.
Living Biblically (CBS) –– Holey of holies.
Unsolved: The Murders of Tupac and the Notorious B.I.G. (USA) –– B.I.G. whoops.
Absentia (Amazon) –– Audience is in.

Good Girls (NBC) –– Bad shows.
90th Academy Awards (ABC) –– #TimeSuck.
The Looming Tower (Hulu) –– The oy full Tower.
Final Space (TBS) –– Wretch for the stars.
Our Cartoon President (SHO) –– Beats the Trump.
Ugly Delicious (Netflix) –– Pee Eff Chang.
The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale (Netflix) –– The Soup to nuts.
Everything Sucks! (Netflix) –– Well, this.
Queer Eye (Netflix) –– For the late guy.
A Futile and Stupid Gesture (Netflix) –– Lamepoon.
Altered Carbon (Netflix) –– Carbon sloppy.
The Cloverfield Paradox (Netflix) –– Stellar idler.
Citizen Rose (E!) –– McGowan crazy.
Here and Now (HBO) –– Present company excluded.
The 60th Annual Grammy Awards (CBS) –– Corden off.
Waco (Paramount) –– Has a man Koresh.
The Resident (FOX) –– Evil.
Counterpart (Starz) –– Twin peeks.
My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman (Netflix) –– Super Dave odd spawn.
24th Screen Actors Guild Awards (TBS) –– Lady parts.
Philip K. Dick’s Electric Dreams (Amazon) –– Circuit jerk.
Black Lightning (Netflix) –– Pow woe.
Grown-ish (Freeform) –– Groan-ish.
The End of the F***ing World (Netflix) –– Gloss finish.
The Last Post (Amazon) –– Aden and abetting.
The Chi (SHO) –– Chi away.
75th Annual Golden Globe Awards (NBC) –– Time’s oops.

The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story (FX) –– Gianni weird.
Step Sisters (Netflix) –– Foot lose.
LA to Vegas (Fox) –– Flight risk.
9-1-1 (Fox) –– Dial soap.
The Alienist (TNT) –– Knickerbocker horror day.
Bright (Netflix) –– Not very.
The Untitled Action Bronson Show (Viceland) –– Churlish Bronson.
Gunpowder (HBO) –– Fawkes of habit.
A Christmas Story Live! (FOX) –– Shepherd’s pie.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon) –– Pretty maisely.
Wormwood (Netflix) –– Secret sores.
Knightfall (HIST) –– Armor hot dogs.
The Fake News with Ted Nelms (COM) –– Jizzy Helms.
Happy! (Syfy) –– Sad!
Dark (Netflix) –– Shot in the.
The Newspaperman: The Life and Times of Ben Bradlee (HBO) –– Oh, more Bradlee.
Barbra: The Music…The Mem’ries…The Magic! (Netflix) –– Barbra bushed.
Godless (Netflix) –– He abandoned this.
She’s Gotta Have It (Netflix) –– Threefer madness.
There’s…Johnny! (Hulu) –– Carson shitty.
The Punisher (Netflix) –– Wallop a loser.
SMILF (SHO) –– …I’d Like to Forget.
Ill Behavior (SHO) –– Tumor casserole.
The Long Road Home (Nat Geo) –– Keep on trekkin’.
Marvel’s Runaways (Hulu) –– Hide and go suck.
Future Man (Hulu) –– Past doo.
Damnation (USA) –– That darned scat.
S.W.A.T. (CBS) –– Bomb squad.
Flint (Lifetime) –– Leaden.
Ryan Hansen Solves Crimes on Television (YouTube Red) –– Rend-a-Cop.
The Rundown With Robin Thede (BET) –– Rundown.
Mindhunter (Netflix) –– Lost it.
1922 (Netflix) –– Twenties’ questions.
At Home With Amy Sedaris (Tru TV) –– Homey the clown.
Annihilation (Netflix) –– Pattonly absurd.
Loudermilk (Audience) –– Lack d’oh intolerant.
Hit the Road (Audience) –– Jerk.
Spielberg (HBO) –– Jaws.
Tin Star (Amazon) –– Sheriff of rotten ham.
Rillington Place (Sundance Now) –– In nothing flat.
Gerald’s Game (Netflix) –– I’m not.
Big Mouth (Netflix) –– Potty animals.
Alias Grace (Netflix) –– Alas, disgrace.
Valor (CW) –– Dicktorian.
White Famous (SHO) –– Pale in comparison.

The Mayor (ABC) –– May not.
Dynasty (CW) –– Da nasty.
Ten Days in the Valley (ABC) –– Valley gull.
Wisdom of the Crowd (CBS) –– Crowd sauced.
Me, Myself and I (CBS) –– Thrice and beans.
Kevin (Probably) Saves the World (ABC) –– Kevin help us?
9JKL (CBS) –– Amen, oh, pee.
The Gifted (FOX) –– X-patsies.
The Soundtrack of Our Lives (Apple) –– Clive bait.

Megyn Kelly Today (NBC) –– Kelly ripper.
Marvel’s Inhumans (ABC) –– Out, humans.
Ghosted (FOX) –– Presence company excluded.
Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Murders (NBC) –– Family plot.
The Good Doctor (ABC) –– Medicine bull.
The Brave (NBC) –– Watch this.
Will & Grace (NBC) –– Gays into the abyss.
Seal Team (CBS) –– Squad thrust.
Young Sheldon (CBS) –– Nerd damage.
The Tick (Amazon) –– Tickety-boob.
Jerry Before Seinfeld (Netflix) –– Jerryatrics.
Tales From the Tour Bus (Cinemax) –– Bussed chops.
The Orville (Fox) –– Orville wrong.
Top of the Lake: China Girl (Sundance) –– Campion it up.
The Vietnam War (PBS) –– Namby-pamby.
Naked (Netflix) –– Bare bones.
The Hippopotamus (Netflix) –– Hippo drone.
White Gold (Netflix) –– Auto booty.
The Deuce (HBO) –– What The Deuce?
American Horror Story: Cult (FX) –– Cult de sac.
Whitney: Can I Be Me (SHO) –– Huston rackets.
Disjointed (Netflix) –– Blunt trauma.
Death Note (Netflix) –– Sour Note.
Good Karma Hospital (Acorn) –– Wards and all.
The Defenders (Netflix) –– Super silly ass.
Marlon (NBC) –– Blando.
The Last Tycoon (Amazon) –– Studio flat.
Get Shorty (Epix) –– Nomore Leonard.
The Guest Book (TBS) –– Makes your fresh scrawl.
The Lowe Files (A&E) –– Raw bLowe.
Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later –– Breaks camp.
Atypical (Netflix) –– The low of averages.
The Opposition With Jordan Klepper (COM) –– Opposites detract.
Carpool Karaoke (Apple) –– Auto tuning.
What Would Diplo Do? (Viceland) –– Diplo mutt.
The Sinner (USA) –– Saint elsewhere.
Mr. Mercedes (Audience) –– Mercedes bends.
Manhunt: Unabomber (Discovery) –– Dud Kacynski.
Siesta Key (MTV) –– Dirt nap.
Midnight, Texas (NBC) –– Amateur hour.
Somewhere Between (ABC) –– Bad and worse.
Room 104 (HBO) –– Key and pile.
Risk (SHO) –– Of seeming ridiculous.
Remember Me (PBS) –– Palin by comparison.
Hooten and the Lady (CW) –– Don’t give a Hooten.
Ozark (Netflix) –– Show and cartel.
I’m Sorry (truTV) –– Ditto.
Salvation (CBS) –– Saved by the bull.
Friends from College (Netflix) –– Failing grads.
Candy Crush (CBS) –– Candy assed.
The Defiant Ones (HBO) –– Beats off.
Battle of the Network Stars (ABC) –– Feud fight.
Tour de Pharmacy (HBO) –– CC riders.
Will (TNT) –– Will not.
The Gong Show (ABC) –– Going, going, Gong.
Tales (BET) –– You lose.
The Mist (Spike) –– Puttin’ on the shpritz.
Snowfall (FX) –– Coke zero.
Gypsy (Netflix) –– Gypsy crab.
Putin Interviews (SHO) –– Rolling Stone.
Glow (Netflix) –– Worm.
71st Tony Awards (CBS) –– Waste of Spacey.
The Jim Jefferies Show (COM) –– Ozhole.
Claws (TNT) –– Manic-pedi.
Steve Harvey’s Funderdome (ABC) –– Mad mucks.
The American Epic Sessions (PBS) –– Record setting.
Planet of the Apps (Apple) –– Apps of steal.
Sunday Night With Megyn Kelly (NBC) –– Megyn Foxed.
I’m Dying Up Here (SHO) –– Comic sans.
Michael Jackson: Searching for Neverland (Lifetime) –– Nevermind.
World of Dance (NBC) –– Rushin’ steps.
Dirty Dancing (ABC) –– Whirl poo.
Twin Peaks (SHO) –– Peaky blunders.
Billboard Music Awards (ABC) –– Chart remains.
Norm McDonald: Hitler’s Dog, Gossip & Trickery (Netflix) –– Norm core.
Tracy Morgan: Staying Alive (Netflix) –– Morgan stalely.
The Keepers (Netflix) –– Nun violence.
Downward Dog (ABC) –– Yoga the bare.
The Wizard of Lies (HBO) –– Madoff honor.
Rodney King (Netflix) –– Beat.
Bill Nye Saves the World (Netflix) –– It takes some nerd.
The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu) –– Bomb of Gilead.
Anne With an E (Netflix) –– Enne?
American Gods (Starz) –– Doo-wah diety.
Great News (NBC) –– Flash dunce.
Ice (Audience) –– Cold.
Condor (Audience) –– Low-flying.
Genius (Nat Geo) –– ‘Genius’.
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks (HBO) –– Henrietta lax.
Dear White People (Netflix) –– Race anatomy.
Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (Netflix) –– Riff rough.
Girlboss (Netflix) –– eBey.
The Deed (CNBC) –– Low rent.
Julie’s Greenroom (Netflix) –– Stage wispier.
Sandy Wexler (Netflix) –– Flea agent.
Mary Kills People (Lifetime) –– With boredom.
The President Show (COM) –– Trump roast.
Rebel (BET) –– Yelp!
Jungletown (Viceland) –– Panama hate.
The Son (AMC) –– Uvabitch.
Nobodies (TV Land) –– Watching.
The Kennedys: After Camelot (Reelz) –– Jackie yoyo.
Wynonna Earp (Syfy) –– Urp!
Five Came Back (Netflix) –– War’s the pity.
Imaginary Mary (ABC) –– Imagine draggin'.
To Walk Invisible (PBS) –– Brontë tsuris.
13 Reasons Why (Netflix) –– Suicide squat.
The Most Hated Woman in America –– O’Hare-brained scheme.
Marvel’s Iron Fist (Netflix) –– Punchy. 
Trial & Error (NBC) –– Finding jury.
Mama June: From Not to Hot (We) –– June bog.
Making History (FOX) –– Past gas.
Shots Fired (FOX) –– Wing and a nod. 
National Treasure (Hulu) –– Rep torn.
Chicago Justice (NBC) –– Gun Chi.
Maya Angelou: And Still I Rise (PBS) –– My oh Maya.
When We Rise (ABC) –– Gay heirs.
Feud: Bette and Joan (FX) –– Feud fight.
The 89th Academy Awards (ABC) –– LOL La Land.
Patriot (Amazon) –– Loyalty oaf.
The Partner (CNBC) –– Number 2.
Taken (NBC) –– Unparticular set of skills.
The High Court (COM) –– Pot stinker.
Sun Records (CMT) –– Sham Phillips.
Ultimate Beastmaster (Netflix) –– Wrangle biters.
The Blacklist: Redemption (NBC) –– Better dead than Red.
The Good Fight (CBS) –– A new lease on Wife.
Crashing (HBO) –– Stay the coarse.
Doubt (CBS) –– Beyond reasonable.
Michael Bolton’s Big Sexy Valentine’s Day Special (Netflix) –– Friends romance countrymen.
David Brent: Life on the Road (Netflix) –– Office nut.
Legion (FX) –– Of indecency.
Big Little Lies (HBO) –– Fib bit.
59th Annual Grammy Awards (CBS) –– Number crunchers.
Detroiters (COM) –– Detroit pissed-ons.
The History of Comedy (CNN) –– Yucky.
APB (FOX) –– All pointless.
24: Legacy (FOX) –– Another day, another dullard.
Santa Clarita Diet (Netflix) –– Lose lunch.
Powerless (NBC) –– Sidekick friends’ network.
Superior Donuts (CBS) –– Holed everything.
Training Day (CBS) –– Rookie mistake.
Detroit Steel (HIST) –– Slag off.
Rise (Viceland) –– And beans.
Z: The Beginning of Everything (Amazon) –– Zelda abuse.
I Love Dick (Amazon) –– Penis ennui.
Detroit Steel (HIST) –– Slag off.
Riverdale (CW) –– Archie and Ironica.
Downward Dog (ABC) –– Curs of the cat people.
Hunted (CBS) –– Catches some z’s.
Clinical (Netflix) –– Depression.
Frontier (Netflix) –– Loosey van pelt.
Beaches (Lifetime) –– Gal pales.
A Series of Unfortunate Events (Netflix) –– Olaf riot.
The Young Pope (HBO) –– Ill Papa.
Victoria (PBS) –– Falls.
Six (HIST) –– SEALS the deal.
Sneaky Pete (Amazon) –– Pete’s draggin’.
First Family of Hip Hop (Bravo) –– Rap's killer.
Summer House (Bravo) –– Montauk soup.
Truth and Lies: The Menendez Brothers (ABC) –– Bros and cons.
Emerald City (NBC) –– Doctored Oz.
Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds (HBO) –– Filial pity.
New Celebrity Apprentice (NBC) –– Arnold bomber.
The Wall (NBC) –– Scale pay.
One Day at a Time (Netflix) –– Cuba gooing junior.
Beyond (Freeform) –– The pail.
Taboo (FOX) –– Offal limits.
Ransom (CBS) –– Hostage la vista.
The OA (Netflix) –– The No Way.
The Mick (Fox) –– Mick jagged.
Hairspray Live! (NBC) –– Makes do.
Star (FOX) –– Dreck.
Spatial (Netflix) –– Retchie Watts.
Michael Che Matters (Netflix) –– Che’s lounge.
Colin Quinn: The New York Story (Netflix) –– Urban miffs.
3% (Netflix) –– The grueling class.
Easy (Netflix) –– Not to watch.
Faces and Sounds (HBO) –– Holmes inversion.
Shut Eye (Hulu) –– Shut both.
Mariah’s World (E!) –– Crash and Carey.
Search Party (TBS) –– Utterly lost.
Soundbreaking: Stories From the Cutting Edge of Recorded Music (PBS) –– Tracks records.
Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath (A&E) –– Priceless Leah.
Incorporated (Syfy) –– Inc. sack.
The Grand Tour (Amazon) –– Flop gear.
Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life (Netflix ) –– They’re hookers now?
Nightcap (Pop) –– Sink to sleep.
Sweet/Vicious (MTV) –– Bi low.
Good Behavior (TNT) –– Hackery, Dockery, dick.
Shooter (USA) –– Pee Shooter.
The Crown (Netflix) –– Eyes Queen.
Mars (Nat Geo) –– A tax.
Stan Against Evil (IFC) –– Ass vs. evil dead.
People of Earth (TBS) –– Abduct tape.
Good Girls Revolt (Amazon) –– I’m revolted.
The Great Indoors (CBS) –– McHale’s nervy.
Hamilton’s America (PBS) –– Alexander plotz.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do the Time Warp Again (Fox) –– Trans worse.
Man With a Plan (CBS) –– Plan seared.
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (BBC America) –– Dread Gently.
Chance (Hulu) –– None.
Killing Reagan (Nat Geo) –– Hit and Ron.
American Housewife (ABC) –– Missus the mark.
Berlin Station (EPIX) –– Zug zag.
Mascots (Netflix) –– Rah footage.
The Siege of Jadotville (Netfix) –– Natal attraction.
Graves (EPIX) –– Shallow Graves.
Crisis in Six Scenes (Amazon) –– Allen thick.
Eyewitness (USA) –– See, spot, run.
Vice News Tonight (HBO) –– Reportin’ sick.
Insecure (HBO) –– She should be.
Goliath (Amazon) –– Colossal failure.
Falling Water (USA) –– Let it drip.
Haters Back Off (Netflix) –– Amanda sinks.
Frequency (CW) –– Never.
Marvel's Luke Cage (Netflix) –– Cage free turkey.
No Tomorrow (CW) –– What this deserves.
Divorce (HBO) –– Shitsville.
Westworld (HBO) –– Friend or faux?
Amanda Knox (Netflix) –– Knox down drag out.
Van Helsing (Syfy) –– Low-stakes.
Pitch (FOX) –– Black.
The Crown (Netflix) –– Liz fair.
The Good Place (NBC) –– Heaven’s grate.
Lethal Weapon (FOX) –– Booby Riggs.
Conviction (ABC) –– Loses appeal.
Versailles (Ovation) –– Vice-Versailles.
Timeless (NBC) –– Wee small hours.
MacGyver (CBS) –– Angus bull.
High Maintenance (HBO) –– Deal breaker.
This Is Us (NBC) –– Poor bastards.
The Exorcist (FOX) –– Out, damn snot.
Designated Survivor (ABC) –– Prez dispenser.
68th Primetime Emmy Awards (ABC) –– Kimmel and bits.
Notorious (ABC) –– A bum rep.
The Case Of: JonBenét Ramsey (CBS) –– Girl interrupted.
Bull (CBS) –– I won’t say shit…I wont say shit…I won’t say shit…
Son of Zorn (FOX) –– Zorn inanity.
Churchill’s Secret (PBS) –– Jowl implants.
Speechless (ABC) –– Unspeakable.
Kevin Can Wait (CBS) –– La bombe James.
Quarry (Cinemax) –– Game theory.

Atlanta (FX) –– Glum rappers.
Quarry (Cinemax) –– Game theory.
Better Things (FX) –– Are on other channels.
Dateline NBC: Who Killed JonBenet? (NBC) –– Family plot.
One Mississippi (Amazon) –– Doo Mississippi.
Fleabag (Amazon) –– The hole she bang.
StartUp (Crackle) –– ShutDown.
Eat the World (Amazon) –– And me.
Mary + Jane (MTV) –– Waste high.
XOXO (Netflix) –– Rave gauche.

Better Late Than Never (NBC) –– Fogey bottom.
Queen Sugar (OWN) –– Sugar and spites.
Gomorrah (Sundance) –– Italian iced.
MADtv (CW) –– Awfully Neuman.
My Last Days (CW) –– A fade worse than death.
Fearless (Netflix) –– Bull sessions.
The Disappearance (Acorn TV) –– Dog gone.
Triumph’s Summer Election Special 2016 (Hulu) –– Poopy love.
Last Chance U (Netflix) –– Crammer school.
Stranger Things (Netflix) –– The filth dimension.
Rio Olympics (NBC) –– A Rio hoot.
I Am JFK Jr. (Spike) –– Don’t call me Jr.
Meet the Donors: Does Money Talk? (HBO) –– Donor scummers.
Tallulah (Neflix) –– Tallulah bankrupt.
Harley and the Davidsons (Discovery) –– Hole hogs.
Doc & Darryl (ESPN) –– Metsed up.
The A Word (Sundance) –– Anemic.
Elena of Avalor (DIS) –– Latina fey.
Roadies (SHO) –– Setup to fail.
The Get Down (Netflix) –– Got me down.
Match Game (ABC) –– Doesn’t catch fire.
$100,000 Pyramid (ABC) –– Baseless.
Queen of the South (USA) –– Coca monster.
The Night Of (HBO) –– Nocturnal omissions.
O.J.: Made in America (ESPN) –– At Tropicana plant in Florida.
Guilt (Freeform) –– Without pleasure.
American Gothic (CBS) –– Kill delights.
Any Given Wednesday With Bill Simmons (HBO) –– Hump’s day.
BrainDead (CBS) –– Eating of the minds.
Wrecked (TBS) –– Abandon dope.
Animal Kingdom (TNT) –– Dis family robbin’ some.
70th Annual Tony Awards (CBS) –– Corden blew.
Feed the Beast (AMC) –– Gruel intentions.
The Do-Over (Netflix) –– Start with the script.
Greenleaf (OWN) –– Slime minister.
Lady Dynamite (Netflix) –– T’N’AT.

Maya & Marty (NBC) –– Short bust.
Roots (HIST) –– Rustles some fetters.
Showing Roots (LIFE) –– Die job.
The Dresser (Starz) –– Tailored ham.
Outcast (Cinemax) –– Cast out.
Preacher (AMC) –– Pulp it.
All the Way (HBO) –– Blurry Lyndon.
Chelsea (Netflix) –– Baggage Handler.
Woman (Viceland) –– Her styles.

TELEVISION 2