TELEVISION

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The Old Guard (Netflix) –– Guardin' variety.
Little Voice (Apple TV+) –– Or point.
Down to Earth with Zac Efron (Netflix) –– Snorer Efron.
Mucho Mucho Amor: The Legend of Walter Mercado (Netflix) –– Amorbid.
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (Netflix) –– Iceland dick.
Stateless (Netflix) –– Detention deficit disorder.
Warrior Nun (Netflix) –– Out of orders.
Outcry (SHO) –– Hue and meh.
Cannonball (NBC) –– Runt.

Hamilton (Disney+) –– Duel citizenship.
P-Valley (Starz) –– Pussy footing.
And She Could Be Next (PBS) –– Pol dancing.
I’ll Be Gone in the Dark (HBO) –– Life hack.
Twilight Zone (Amazon) –– Serling sliver.
Perry Mason (HBO) –– Mason jars.
I May Destroy You (HBO) –– Or my career.
Love, Victor (Hulu) –– Victor Ugh-o!
Lenox Hill (Netflix) –– Doc doc, who cares?
Steve Carell in Space ForceSpace Force (Netflix) –– To the Moon, alas.
Dirty John: The Betty Broderick Story (USA) –– Scrub the toilet.
Laurel Canyon (Epix) –– Laurel and tardy.
Quiz (AMC) –– Forever stumps.
Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich (Netflix) –– Pedo, then nothing.
Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (Netflix) –– Douglas: shirk.
The Not Too Late Show (HBO Max) –– Elmo fudge.
Barkskins (NatGeo) –– Scratchy.
AKA Jane Roe (FX) –– Skid Roe.
Issa Rae in The LovebirdsThe Lovebirds (Netflix) –– Twit followers.
The Wrong Missy (Netflix) Missy idiot.
Stargirl (CW) –– The wrong missy.
The Happy Days of Garry Marshall (ABC) –– Marshall lore.
Love Life (HBO Max) –– Not after this.
Hightown (Hulu) –– Lowdown.
Beastie Boys Story (Apple TV+) –– License to shill.
The Willoughbys (Netflix) –– Wannabes.
Amy Schumer Learns to Cook (Food Network) –– Tasteless Schumer.
Daveed Diggs in SnowpiercerSnowpiercer (TNT) –– Training weasels.
The Great (Hulu) –– Not so.
Solar Opposites (Hulu) –– Flare-out.
Council of Dads (NBC) –– Council boofs.
Betty (HBO) –– Boob.
Extraction (Netflix) –– Remove from queue.
Planet of the Humans (Netflix) –– Moore of less.
Trying (Apple TV+) –– My nerves.
Hollywood (Netflix) –– Hollywood bull.
Never Have I Ever (Netfix) –– Nor should you.
I Know This Much Is True (HBO) –– : this rings false.
Penny Dreadful: City of Angels (SHO) –– Penny anti.
Bad Education (HBO) –– Roslyn hustle.
Upload (Amazon) –– A load.
Normal People (Hulu) –– Normal wear-and-tear.
#blackAF (Netflix) –– #bleakAF.
Brews Brothers (Netflix) –– A-hole oast.
Outer Banks (Netflix) –– Carolina panders.
Mrs. America (Hulu) –– And everything else.
Sergio (Netflix) –– And destroyo.
Defending Jacob (Apple+) –– Jacob’s sadder.
The Last Dance (ESPN) –– Bulls hit.
Run (HBO) –– Down.
Deadwater Fell (Acorn) –– On its face.
Belgravia (Epix) –– Toff luck.
Trolls World Tour (Amazon) –– Bush, poor troll.
Tigertail (Netflix) –– Striped bastard.
Broke (CBS) –– And can’t fix.
Home Before Dark (Apple TV+) –– Clue clucks clan.
World on Fire (PBS) –– Blitz creaks.
Be Our Chef (Disney+) –– Small fries.
Unorthodox (Netflix) –– Kosher dull pickle
Making the Cut (Amazon Prime) –– Scissor kicks.
Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution (Netflix) –– Roll with it.
ZeroZeroZero (Amazon Prime) –– Zero.
Freud (Netflix) –– Analistless.
After Truth: Disinformation and the Cost of Fake News (HBO) –– False short.
Tiger King (Netflix) –– Paw relations.
Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madam C.J. Walker (Netflix) –– Heir straightener.
The Letter for the King (Netflix) –– F.
Motherland: Fort Salem (Freeform) –– In witch we serve.
The Plot Against America (HBO) –– Schmucky Lindy.
Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) –– Ash heap.
Queen Sono (Netflix) –– So No!
Dave (FXX) –– Lil Dicky flips Burd.
I Am Not OK With This (Netflix) –– Ditto.

Hunters (Amazon) –– And peckers.
Devs (FX/Hulu) –– Byte me.
Babies (Netflix) –– Pablum child.
Breeders (FX) –– Breeders’ cuck.
The Eddy (Netflix) –– Doesn’t flow.
Stateless (Netflix) –– Displace cases.
Gentefied (Netflix) –– Breaks down barrios.
For Life (ABC) –– And a day.
Cherish the Day (OWN) –– Precious and fool.

Indebted (NBC) –– Owe shit!
Slow Burn (Epix) –– Fizzle reel.
Visible: Out on Television (Apple TV+) –– Flash trans.
Utopia Falls (Hulu) –– On its face.
Duncanville (Fox) –– Duncan dog nuts.
Outmatches (FOX) –– From tops to bottom.
Interrogation (CBS All Access) –– Questionable.
Tommy (CBS) –– Boy?
Rob McEkhenny in Mythic QuestMythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet (Apple TV+) –– That’s slow Raven.
Lego Masters (FOX) –– Into locking blocks.
Locke & Key (Netflix) –– Don’t open.
Hillary (Hulu) –– Rodham and staff.
The Goop Lab (Netflix) –– Goop goo dulls.
High Fidelity (Hulu) –– Not to source material.
Star Trek: Picard (CBS All Access) –– Any card.
Medical Police (Netflix) –– Rant a cop.
AJ and the Queen (Netflix) –– Drag out fight.
Hugh Laurie in Avenue 5Avenue 5 (HBO) –– Fraud galaxy.
Sanditon (PBS) –– Austen sours.
Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt for the Bone Collector (NBC) –– Bone headed.
John Mulaney’s Sack Lunch Bunch (Netflix) –– Lack punch crunch.
Cheer (Netflix) –– Pep project.
The Outsider (HBO) –– Seething double.
Dracula (Netflix) –– Down for the Count.
The Circle (Netflix) –– Round pigs.
Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (NBC) –– Junk the queue.
Henry Cavill as The WitcherThe Witcher (Netflix) –– Witcher bastard.
Soundtrack (Netflix) –– Lip-stynching.
Deputy (FOX) –– Dawg.
Messiah (Netflix) –– Save us!
Spinning Out (Netflix) –– In skates of emergency.
Dare Me (USA) –– Rah rah aves.
Kevin Hart: Don’t F**k This Up (Netflix) –– Too late.
A Christmas Carol (FX) –– Scrooge the pooch.
Hot and Heavy (TLC) –– Choose the fat.
Octavia Spencer in Truth Be Told
Truth Be Told (Apple TV+) –– Plodcast.
Joke Show (Netflix) –– Wolf at the snore.
Reprisal (Hulu) –– Time you’ll never get back.
The L Word: Generation Q (SHO) –– Lez be serious.
The Moodys (Fox) –– Bad credit.
Harley Quinn (DC Universe) –– Hardly Quinn.
College Behind Bars (PBS) –– Bar exams.
Lady and the Tramp (Disney+) –– Litter bugged.
Merry Happy Whatever (Netflix) –– Say it ain’t snow.
The Mandalorian (Disney+) –– Star worst.
Servant (Apple+) –– It’s never a doll moment.
Dolly Parton’s Heartstrings (Netflix) –– Rotten pluck.
Dollface (Hulu) –– Dullpace.
The Imagineering Story (Disney+) –– Imagine jeering.
Encore! (Disney+) –– Not again!
Dublin Murders (Starz) –– Dublin or nothing.
The Devil Next Door (Netflix) –– Won’t you beast my neighbor.
His Dark Materials (HBO) –– F’shite of fantasy.
See (Apple TV+) –– See? No.
The Morning Show (Apple TV+) –– AM-less.
Dickinson (Apple TV+) –– The bull of Amherst.
For All Mankind (Apple TV+) –– Space shot.
Lobby Baby (Netflix) –– Set Myers.
The Little Mermaid Live! (ABC) –– Blunder to see.
Back to Life (SHO) –– Revival show.
The Cry (SundanceTV) –– Wail boner.
Daybreak (Netflix) –– Dawn of the dud.
Watchmen (HBO) –– Tsk-tock.
Catherine the Great (HBO) –– Empress crudes.
Kelly Clarkson (NBC) –– Kelly green.
Leavenworth (Starz) –– Prison bleak.
Treadstone (USA) –– Treadwater.
The College Admissions Scandal (LIFE) –– Cheat sheesh.
Looking for Alaska (Hulu) –– Queen crab.
Nancy Drew (CW) –– A blank.
Modern Love (Amazon) –– Romance scandals.
Batwoman (CW) –– Butchcave.
Living With Yourself (Netflix) –– Stuck in a Rudd.
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (Netflix) –– Freaking bad.
Kids Say the Darnedest Things (ABC) –– Spotty-mouthed.
The Unicorn (CBS) –– The wan and only.
Almost Family (Fox) –– Icks fam.
A Little Late With Lilly Singh (NBC) –– Singh low.
Bless the Harts (Fox) –– Misses a beat.
Godfather of Harlem (Epix) –– Uptown churl.
Carol’s Second Act (CBS) –– Act-two! Gesundheit.
Perfect Harmony (NBC) –– Discord. Duck.
Stumptown (ABC) –– I’m stumped.
The Politician (Netflix) –– Murder ballot.
Prodigal Son (Fox) –– Wanders off.
Sunnyside (NBC) –– Down.
Between Two Ferns: The Movie (Netflix) –– Potted plans.
Criminal (Netflix) –– Neglect.
Emergence (ABC) –– Pop-up snore.
Simone Missick in All RiseAll Rise (CBS) –– All risible.
Bob Hearts Abishola (CBS) –– Black eyed piece.
Bluff City Law (NBC) –– Memphis slum.
Cake (FXX) –– Slice and dicey.
Mixed-ish (ABC) –– Mixed-uppish.
American Horror Story: 1984 (FX) –– Slash mob.
First Wives Club (BET+) –– Break-in case of emergency.
Inside Bill’s Brain (Netflix) –– Gates scratcher.
The Victim (Britbox) –– That would be you.
Jeffrey Tambor in TransparentTransparent: Musicale Finale (Amazon) –– No Maura.
Evil (CBS) –– Just bad.
Country Music (PBS) –– Woo twang clan.
Godfather of Harlem (Epix) –– Bumpy road.
Murder in the Bayou (SHO) –– Swamp gaffes.
Undone (Amazon) –– Finished.
Unbelievable (Netflix) –– Totally.
A Very Brady Renovation (HGTV) –– Homey Bunch.
Limetown (Facebook Watch) –– Sour patch kitsch.
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (Netflix) –– Crystal mess.
The Spy (Netflix) –– Mos' odd agent.
Wu-Tang: An American Saga (Hulu) –– Clan with a plan.
Linda Ronstadt: The Sound of My Voice (CNN) –– Blue by you.
Carnival Row (Amazon) –– Barker lounger.
This Way Up (Hulu) –– Down mark it.
On Becoming a God in Central Florida (SHO) –– Do wha’ diety?
Wu Assassins (Netflix) –– Wu is me.
Jim Gaffigan: Quality Time (Amazon) –– Quality is familiarity.

TOP

The Righteous Gemstones (HBO) –– Preach around.
Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready (Netflix) –– They ain’t.
Why Women Kill (CBS All Acccess) –– Castacide.
The Terror: Infamy (AMC) –– Intern for the worse.
Diagnosis (Netflix) –– Fatal detraction.
Our Boys (HBO) –– Gaza guzzler.
Judge Jerry (CW) –– Jerry-rigged.
Flip It Like Disick (E!) –– The bird.
Another Life (Netflix) –– Alien fisher.

Lights Out with David Spade (COM) –– Snooze to me.
Four Weddings and a Funeral (Hulu) –– Dead, wed.
The Boys (Amazon) –– In the bland.
Sherman’s Showcase (IFC) –– Sherman tanked.
Pennyworth (Epix) –– Is about what you get.
The Great Hack (Netflix) –– Made this.
Pearson (USA) –– Chicago black squawks.
Love Island (CBS) –– Key exchange.
Shangri-La (SHO) –– Rubin the wrong way.
Bring the Funny (NBC) –– Because it ain't here.
The Movies (CNN) –– Flicker license.
South Side (COM) –– Chi of a full deck.
Florida Girls (Pop) –– AntiFla.
Aziz Ansari: Right Now (Netflix) –– Wrong then.
Pandora (CW) –– Penalty box.
The Hills: New Beginnings (MTV) –– The Hills are ajive.
Stranger Things Three (Netflix) –– Dead is Hopper?
Frankenstein’s Monster’s Monster, Frankenstein (Netflix) –– Sag Harbour.
Years and Years (HBO) –– Jeers and jeers.
The Rook (Starz) –– Rooky mistake.
Too Old to Die Young (Amazon) –– Dies anyway.
Grand Hotel (ABC) –– Lack-a-room humor.
Alternatino With Arturo Castro (COM) –– Fiddle Castro.
The Loudest Voice (SHO) –– Pale Ailes.
Reef Break (ABC) –– Queef break.
Das Boot (Hulu) –– Give da boot.
I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson (Netflix) –– Or just leave.
Rolling Thunder Revue (Netflix) –– Dylan pickle.
Los Espookys (HBO) –– Dead Los.
City on a Hill (SHO) –– Boston blackly.
Jett (Cinemax) –– Groan Jett.
Chasing Happiness (Amazon) –– Jonas hell.
The 2019 Tony Awards (CBS) –– Cut the Corden.
Murder Mystery (Netflix) –– Leads’ nowhere.
Unspouse My House (HGTV) –– Unmate bed.
Tales of the City (Netflix) –– Armistead mopin’.
Euphoria (HBO) –– High and lowest.
Trinkets (Netflix) –– Ewwgaws.
Perpetual Grace, LTD. (Epix) –– Round the crock.
The Weekly (FX) –– Times ‘sup.
Unidentified: Inside America’s UFO Investigation (HIST) –– Saucer eyed.
American Princess (Lifetime) –– Ren faire and square.
Swamp Thing (DC Universe) –– Moss the pity.
NOS4A2 (AMC) –– NOT4U2.
Songland (NBC) –– Tough ditty.
Good Omens (Amazon) –– Signs off.
Deadwood: The Movie (HBO) –– Dakota fanning.
All in the Family &The Jeffersons Live (ABC) –– Redo over.
The InBetween (NBC) –– Middle of nowhere.
When They See Us (Netlix) –– Central Park jive.
What/If (Netflix) –– Speculative friction.
Game of Thrones: The Last Watch (HBO) –– Post boredom.
Klepper (COM) –– Jordan spiel.
Blood & Treasure (CBS) –– Out in troves.
L.A.’s Finest (Spectrum Originals) –– Poor L.A.
The Society (Netflix) –– Anomie of the people.
Bonding (Netflix) –– Wimps and chains.
The Spanish Princess (Starz)–– Aragoner.
Catch-22 (Hulu) –– Heller bad.
Dead to Me (Netflix) –– Us, too.
Tuca & Bertie (Netflix) –– Bye bye, Bertie.
The Hot Zone (Nat Geo) –– Sick and tired.
The Red Line (CBS) –– Guilt drip.
Chernobyl (HBO) –– Batty melt.
Chambers (Netflix) –– Bled Chambers.
The Call to Courage (Netflix) –– Leaves a message.
Boss: The Black Experience in Business (PBS) –– CEffedO.
Lunatics (Netflix) –– Wackadoodle doo.
Huge in France (Netflix) –– Grand pricks.
Gentleman Jack (HBO) –– The britches’ back.
Homecoming (Netflix) –– Bey watch.
Special (Netflix) –– Not really.
Bless This Mess (ABC) –– Flush this slush.
The Code (CBS) –– Brown.
Warrior (CInemax) –– Utter Kungfusion.
Unicorn Store (Netflix) –– Twee, dull, dumb.
Someone Great (Netflix) –– Might’ve helped this.
The Perfect Date (Netflix) –– Bored of trystees.
Sickboy (Fuse) –– Croak fiends.
Native Son (HBO) –– Not Wright.
Ultraman (Netflix) –– Ultra unsound.
Mrs. Wilson (PBS) –– Blabby Ruth.
Les Miserables (PBS) –– The Fantine menace.
In the Dark (CW) –– Totally.
Irresponsible (Netflix) –– Hart to watch.
The Twilight Zone (CBS All Access) –– Serling ¿qué? brown.
Hanna (Amazon) –– And her blisters.
Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists (Freeform) –– Perfectly awful.
Abby’s (NBC) –– Abyss.
Ramy (Hulu) –– Ramy noodles.
The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley (HBO) –– The Holmes stretch.
Growing (Netflix) –– Groaning.
The Village (NBC) –– Of the dumbed.
Project Runway (Bravo) –– Stitcher premium.
Fosse/Verdon (FX) –– All flat jazz.
The Fix (ABC) –– Is out.
Aretha! A Grammy Celebration for the Queen of Soul (CBS) –– Franklin minned.
Tricky Dick (CNN) –– Nixon-knack.
Shrill (Hulu) –– Big girl pants.
Turn Up Charlie (Netflix) –– Turn down Charlie.
The Act (Hulu) –– Tough Act to follow.
After Life (Netflix) –– Ricky lack.
Leaving Neverland (HBO) –– Jackson hole.
Losers (Netflix) –– The audience.
The Widow (Amazon) –– Postmortem depression.
The Case Against Adnan Syed (HBO) –– Serial killer.
The Enemy Within (NBC) –– And without.
Flack (Pop) –– Jerk it.
91st Academy Awards (ABC) –– Hostless twinkies.
O.G. (HBO ) –– Oh, Geez.
Weird City (YouTube Premium) –– Oddville.
Doom Patrol (DC Universe) –– Doctored Doom.
Desus & Mero (SHO) ––Terrible twos.
The Giant Beast That is the Global Economy (Amazon) –– Money clips.
The World’s Best (CBS) –– Worst taste scenario.
Proven Innocent (Fox) –– Guilty displeasure.
Miracle Workers (TBS) –– Might save this.
The ABC Murders (Amazon) –– Irk you, Poirot.
Breslin and Hamill: Deadline Artists (HBO) –– Alte tab.
Lorena (Amazon) –– Choppy.
Trigger Warning with Killer Mike (Netflix) –– Mike stands.
State of the Union (SundanceTV) –– Mirage counseling.
Rent (FOX) –– Low Rent.
Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes (Netflix) –– Dumb Bundy.
Informer (Amazon) –– Rat busted.
Polar (Netflix) –– Polar excess.
Medici: The Magnificent (Netflix) –– Firenze ick psychology.
Russian Doll (Netflix) –– Nesty.
Close (Netflix) –– But no cigar.
Fyre (Netflix) –– In the hole.
Fyre Fraud (Hulu) –– Fyre extinguisher.
Butterfly (Hulu) –– Kitsch.
Dynasties (BBC America) –– Endangered specious.
Whiskey Cavalier (ABC) –– WC handy.
Flack (Pop) –– Of effort.
You (Netflix) –– You and meh.
Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (Netflix) –– Kondo minimum.
Proven Innocent (Fox) –– Trial buffoon.
The Umbrella Academy (Netflix) –– Down. Poor.
Miracle Workers (TBS) –– Heaven scent.
PEN15 (Hulu) –– PEN15 sighs.
Elvis Goes There (Epix) –– In the toilet.
Black Earth Rising (Netflix) –– Rwanda psychs.
The Other Two (COM) –– Just duet.
Black Monday (SHO) –– Crashing bore.
I Am the Night (TNT) –– Nocturnal admission.
The Passage (Fox) –– Schlock corridor.
A Discovery of Witches (Sundance Now) –– Coven spoonful.
Carmen San Diego (Netflix) –– San Diego sharters.
Deadly Class (Syfy) –– Assassinine.
Roswell, New Mexico (CW) –– Rots well.
Fam (CBS) –– iliar.
Schooled (ABC) –– Detention deficit disorder.
Project Blue Book (HIST) –– Space and neuters.
Good Trouble (Freeform) –– Smells Trouble.
The Masked Singer (Fox) –– Gassed Masked.
Tidying Up With Marie Kondo (Netflix) –– Neat freak.
Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club (MTV) –– Coca cabana.
America’s Got Talent: The Champions (NBC) –– Disability assurance.
76th Annual Golden Globes (NBC) –– Global worming.
Racing Wives (CMT) –– Can’t keep track.
The Titan Games (NBC) –– Giant waste of time.
Black Mirrror: Bandersnatch (Netflix) –– Reflected gory.
2036 Origin Unknown (Netflix) –– Born under a bad sigh.
Vanity Fair (Amazon) –– Becky with the good heir.
Ellen DeGeneres: Relatable (Netflix) –– DeGeneres to a fault.
Derry Girls (Netflix) –– Derry err.
Watership Down (Netflix) –– Wha’ hoppin’?
The Innocent Man (Netflix) –– Too Sooner.
RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular (VH1) –– X-mess.
Springsteen on Broadway (Netflix) –– Cold Bruce.
Nightflyers (Syfy) –– Flapdoodle.
Baby (Netflix) –– Puttana happy face.
Queen America (Facebook Watch) –– Squeaky Queen.
Trevor Noah; Son of Patricia (Netflix) –– Pat.
Enemies: The President, Justice & The FBI (SHO) –– Laws of detraction.
The Bisexual (Hulu) –– Double crasser.
Jonestown: Terror in the Jungle (SundanceTV) –– Most unkindest cult of all.
The Clinton Affair (A&E) –– Panter Monica.
Snatches (BBC America) –– Boxy.
Dirty John (Bravo) –– Call the janitor.
Escape at Dannemora (HBO) –– Give me a break.
Sally4Ever (HBO) –– Sally froth.
The Kominsky Method (HBO) –– Douglas shirk.
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) –– She-rot.
Shut Up and Dribble (SHO) –– Full court depress.
Patriot Act (Netflix) –– Sticky Minhaj.
Tell Me a Story (CBS All Access) –– Repeater pan.
Legacies (CW) –– Degeneration gap.
Crikey! It’s the Irwins (Animal Planet ) –– Creaky.
Elite (Netflix) –– Delete.

TELEVISION 2