CINEMA

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Spoof of the film The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It with Vera Farmiga as a paranormal investigator horrified by the appearance of Flip Wilson as Geraldine Jones staring into the fires of Hell.The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It –– Hell’s spells.
Carnivores –– Bite me.
Gully –– Bull.
Flashback –– Before and dafter.
Witnesses –– Latter-day feints.
Death in Texas –– Tex addicts.
Hero Mode –– Glower champion.
Grace and Grit –– Disease of the weak.
Under the Stadium Lights –– Bleacher bumps.
Spirit Untamed –– Break rank.
Undine –– Wet nap.
My Tender Matador –– Toro doody.
All Light, Everywhere –– Flashy.
An Impossible Project –– Camera obscurer.
Super Frenchie –– BASE on balls.
The Real Thing –– Untrue confessions.


Spoof of the film Cruella with main character Emma Stone  portrayed as a skunk spraying the title.Cruella –– De Volve.
A Quiet Place Part II –– Heard immunity.
Endangered Species –– Graduates with extinction.
Port Authority –– Terminal.
American Traitor: The Trial of Axis Sally –– Long, small Sally.
Shepherd: The Story of a Jewish Dog –– Kvetch, boy!
Funhouse –– Arcade misfire.
Women –– !
Moby Doc –– Mopey dick.
Ahead of the Curve –– The road lez traveled.
In a drought-like environment Eric Bana holds a stick of Bana Antiperspirant Deoderant above his head and points with his other hand at the title The Dry in the arm pit of his tee shirt.The Dry –– Desiccation row.
Dream Horse –– Gallop pall.
I Carry You With Me –– Gay caballeros.
Milkwater –– The milky waste.
Drunk Bus –– Bum steers.
The Retreat –– Haven forbid.
Seance –– Moan down.
Dementia Part II –– Skulldrudgery.
New Order –– Chuckled decadence.
Bad Tales –– Doi story.
Spring Blossom –– Fleur model.
Into the Darkness –– Danes’ haul days.
When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit –– Loafer’s leap.
Final Account –– Dead to Reich’s.
The New Deal for Artists –– Hit the deco.
Spoof mash-up of the films Army of the Dead and Those Who Wish Me Dead with Dave Bautista as a zombie huinter with his rifle to the undead body of smoke jumper Angelina Jolie.Army of the Dead –– Corporal punishment.
Those Who Wish Me Dead –– Not dead, exactly…
Spiral –– Screwy.
The Djinn –– Rummy.
The Killing of Two Lovers –– Screwicide.
Georgetown –– Washington nits.
Finding You –– Finding yawn.
Riders of Justice –– Doesn’t track.
The Man in The Hat –– Brimming with clichés.
High Ground –– Aboriginal sin.
There Is No Evil –– But there is Bad.
Profile –– In discourage.
The Perfect Candidate –– For recycling bin.
Spoof of the film Wrath of Man with a closeup of angry star Jason Statham with steam shooting out of his ears and an egg frying on his hot head.Wrath of Man –– Fury rote.
Here Today –– Gonged tomorrow.
Above Suspicion –– Beneath contempt.
The Paper Tigers –– Dull roar.
Paper Spiders –– Crepey crawly.
The Water Man –– Takes a leak.
Mainstream –– Down your leg.
Benny Loves You –– Benny horror.
Initiation –– Feeble.
Equal Standard –– Par cheesy.
Locked In –– Too closed for comfort.
Mission Stories –– Abort Mission.
Undergods –– Do wha’? deity.
Enfant Terrible –– Reign ‘a wormy Fassbinder.
The Columnist –– Column bind.
The Unthinkable –– Who’d a thunk it?
Emily @ the Edge of Chaos –– Emily posed.
Four Good Days –– Two bad hours.
Percy vs. Goliath –– Percy sludge.
The Virtuoso –– Deft punk.
The Resort –– Stay away.
Triumph –– Palsy woozy.
Golden Arm –– Pin down.
Cliff Walkers –– Ravine lunatics.
Limbo –– Limpo.
About Endlessness –– Tedium rare.
Berlin Alexanderplatz –– Splatz.
Dope is Death –– Then this is dope.
Mortal Kombat –– Ham to ham.
The Asset –– Asset trips.
Together Together
–– Out of joint.
The Space Between –– Which is empty.
Trigger Point –– Give the finger.
Wildcat –– Claw enforcement.
Sweet River –– Float and eddy.
Bloodthirsty –– Maw and paw.
Unearth –– Put back in.
The Deep Ones –– Shallow Hell.
Wet Season –– One damp thing after another.
Demon Slayer -Kimetsu No Yaiba- The Movie: Mugen Train –– Like the title says.
My Wonder Wanda –– Wanda version.
Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street –– Remember the Elmo.
Tiny Tim: King for a Day –– March of the falsetto.
8 Billion Angels –– Passing fancy.
Spoof of the film Gunda with the title sow facing off with the movie pig Babe like Godzilla vs. Kong under the the title Gunda vs. Babe.Gunda –– Sow-sow.
In the Earth –– Bury it.
Vanquish –– Beaten down.
Night of the Sicario –– or You Can’t Trademark Nouns Even in Spanish.
The Rookies –– Rook us.
Jakob’s Wife –– Jakob’s sadder.
For the Sake of Vicious –– Hope he likes it.
Monday –– Week kneed.
We Broke Up –– The minute they opened their mouths.
Beast Beast –– Worst worst.
Hope –– Not.
Kenny Scharf: When Worlds Collide –– Scharf-witted.
Spoof of the film Assault on VA-33 with star Sean Patrick Flanery holding a spurting blood transfusion tube and tapping his head with his semiautomatic pistol under the tagline Could've Had a VA.Assault on VA-33 –– Vet work.
Voyagers –– Null, Voyagers.
Held –– In contempt.
My True Fairytale –– True blew.
Slalom –– Off ski.
The Tunnel –– Of hate.
Moffie –– Floppy and Moffie.
Giants Being Lonely –– No biggie.
Looking for a Lady With Fangs and a Mustache –– Nepal twister.
As Luck Would Have It –– Flat chance.
Spoof of the film Godzilla vs. Kong with the title monsters having a thumb war being won by King Kong who grunts,  "Aw, nobody told reptile-breath about opposable thumbs!'Godzilla vs. Kong –– Won’t you, behemoth neighbor?
Shiva Baby –– Wake until dark.
Every Breath You Take –– Suck it up.
Say Your Prayers –– And you might be spared this.
Funny Face –– Mask hysteria.
The Unholy –– Mess.
The Boonies –– Made by baboonies.
Space Dogs: Tropical Adventure –– Hit paws.
The Girl Who Believes in Miracles –– Thinks this will flop.
Violet Evergarden: The Movie –– Violet begets violence.
Nobody –– No, buddy.
The Toll –– Easy pass.
The Vault –– Combination lack.
Six Minutes to Midnight –– Brit blocks.
The Seventh Day –– Give it a rest.
First Signal –– On the blinker.
Senior Moment –– Senile biter.
Shoplifters of the World –– Klepto abysmal.
Mystery of the Kingdom of God –– Jesus Christ, alrighty?
Francesco –– Pope innocent?
Tina –– Turner for the worse.
Kuessipan –– Canada dry heave.
Spoof of the film Zack Snyder's Justice League entitled Darksnyde vs. Josser with the two directors of the film, Joss Whedon and Zack Snyder, appear as villains the Joker and Darkseid.Zack Snyder’s Justice League –– Ouchy DC.
The Courier –– Doc block.
The Heiress –– Will call.
City of Lies –– No Biggie.
Happily –– Never after.
Doors –– Slam.
Last Call –– Cut to the chaser.
Phobias –– Afraid so.
Dark State –– Turn out the lights.
Enforcement –– Cops, some Zs.
Food Club –– Pruned Danish.
Wojnarowicz –– AIDS is enough.

TOP

The Oscar statuette sitting in the first row of a movie theatre shrugs his shoulder as he can't decide who's guilty onscreen in a police lineup: Gary Oldman in Mank, Frances McDormand in Nomadland, the animated character Joe in Soul, Carey Mulligan in Promising Young Woman, Riz Ahmed in Sound of Metal or Yuh-Jung Youn in Minari.WHODAT? JUST OSCAR. 2021

Best Picture Nominees:

The Father –– Forget-me nod.
Judas and the Black Messiah –– Traitor joke.
Mank –– Wank.
Minari –– Farmer in the dull.
Nomadland –– Roamin’ noes.
Promising Young Woman –– Rapier whit.
Sound of Metal –– On blackboard.
The Trial of the Chicago Seven –– Yippie K.O.


Spoof of the film Cosmic Sin with lazy star Bruce Willis hanging from a tree limb like a sloth while being filmed by a crew.Cosmic Sin –– Tabooboo.
Long Weekend –– Blown kisses.
Insight –– A riot.
Come True –– False positive.
Honydew –– Honey, don’t.
The Waiting –– Patient pending.
Dutch –– Go, Dutch!
Trust –– Inspires none.
Abandoned: Angelique’s Isle –– Maroon dive.
The Human Voice –– Butt heard.
Lamb of God: The Concert Film –– Agonies day.
Dark Web: Cicada 3301 –– Sick a' dat.
Still Life in Lodz –– Lodz, you be my neighbor.
Spoof of Raya and the Last Dragon with the title character in the pose of Elle Wood with her dragon Sisu on a leash under the title Legally Bland.Raya and the Last Dragon –– Raya’s Hell.
Chaos Walking –– Stumble bum.
Coming 2 America –– Point of no return.
The Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run –– Sponge unworthy.
Sophie Jones –– Sophie: love seat.
My Salinger –– Zany and Phooey.
Pixie –– Dust.
Boogie –– Noogie.
The Winter Lake –– Cuts no ice.
Sometime Other Than Now –– Later hosin’.
Son –– Belt.
Dreamcatcher –– Black sleep of the family.
The Devil Below –– Tush of evil.
The Truffle Hunters –– Hog mild.
Stray –– Stray bullshit.
F.T.A. –– Nam de guerre.
Gustave Stickley: American Craftsman –– Prickley.
Spoof poster for the film Tom and Jerry with the cartoon looking scared as he sticks out his tongue and Tom Holland as the bank-robbing lead character from Cherry is standing on it pointing a pistol between his eyes.Tom and Jerry –– Cat scant.
Cherry –– Bust Cherry.
The Father –– Forget-me nod.
Crisis –– Mold.
My Zoe –– Zoe tropes.
The United States vs. Billie Holiday –– Lady stinks, the blues.
The Killing of Two Lovers –– Stunned double.
Vigil –– Anti.
Night of the Kings –– Keister the kingdom.
Billie Eilish: The World's a Little Blurry –– Lack of the Eilish.
Spoof of the film Nomadland with star Frances McDormand as a homeless lady pushing a cart loaded with bags through the desert as she talks incoherently.Nomadland –– Roamin’ noes.
Blithe Spirit –– Blight spirit.
Joe Bell –– Pea’s prize.
Silk Road –– High in plain site.
Body Brokers –– Junkie heap.
Burn It All –– Starting with the sets!
Paranormal Prison –– Scars and bars.
The Violent Heart –– Clinch mob.
Days of the Bagnold Summer –– Mother humpher.
Jumbo –– Buggy ride.
Sin –– Sistine scandals.
Truth to Power –– Huffy metal.
Spoof of the film Judas and the Black Messiah with Fred Hampton (Daniel Kaluuya) stretching to reach for his beret which is being held aloft in the clenched power fist of the taller Bill O'Neal (LaKeith Stanfield.)Judas and the Black Messiah –– Traitor joke.
Minari –– Farmer in the dull.
The Mauritanian –– Detention venter.
Land –– With a thud.
French Exit –– Any porte in a storm.
The World to Come –– Petticoat junk. Shun.
Music –– Hum-job.
Lapsis –– In judgment.
Cowboys –– And/or girls.
Willy’s Wonderland –– Doesn’t give me Willy’s.
Fear of Rain –– Drops off.
Adverse –– I am.
Dead Pigs –– Oink blot.
Twilight’s Kiss
–– Apt original title: Suk Suk.
Show Me What You Got –– Can’t just be this.
Meltdown –– Go with the floe.
Spoof of the film Little Fish with the lead characters  Jude (Jack O'Connell) and Emma (Olivia Cooke) upside down with their heads in matching goldfish bowls.Little Fish –– In a big bomb.
Palmer –– Con descension.
Falling –– Flop doodle.
Minimata –– Mini matter.
Son of the South –– Klan getaway.
The Wanting Mare –– You'll be wanting more.
The Right One –– Ox beau incident.
The Reckoning –– Every witch way.
Reunion –– Out of joined.
Red Woods –– Root awakening.
The Mimic –– Stunted double.
Two of Us –– Ohhh… pair.
Rams –– Butt holes.
Dara of Jasenovac –– Serb as a guinea pig.
Earwig and the Witch –– Potion sickness.
Heartworn Highways –– More heart worm.
A Glitch in the Matrix –– Redress code.
Woman in Motion –– Uhuru the day.
M.C. Escher: Journey to Infinity –– Optical allusions.
Spoof of the film The Little Things with Denzel Washington's policeman character Joe Deacon picking 'little things' out of the greasy hair of Jared Leto's suspected serial killer Albert Sparma.The Little Things –– Nit knack.
Supernova –– The Firth of froth.
Breaking News in Yuba County –– And wind.
Saint Maud –– Maudlin.
The Night –– Distended stay.
Wrong Turn –– If you entered theatre.
Caged –– Can of worm.
Aliens, Clowns & Geeks –– Strange into lewd.
Haymaker –– Punchy.
Dear Comrades! –– The spasibo effect.
True Mothers –– Maternity. Leave.
Spoof of the film Locked Down with Anne Hathaway and Chiwetel Ejiofor wearing face masks as they steal Clean Getaway Hand Sanitizer on a TV screen as Josef the Affenpinscher and critic E. Basil St. Blaise watch with their face masks covering their eyes.Locked Down –– Quarantoon.
American Skin –– Thin Skin.
Our Friend –– Unfriend.
Baby Done –- Baby dumb.
No Man’s Land –– Grody to the Mex.
Brothers by Blood –– Type ‘Oh, negative!’
Psycho Goreman –– Roger, Goreman.
Atlantis –– Sinks without trace.
Identifying Features –– Facile recognition.
Spoor –– Loser.
Preparations to be Together For an Unknown Period of Time
–– More pretentious than the title.
You Will Die at Twenty –– Minutes in.
Notturno –– False notte.
Spoof of the film The Marksman with star Liam Neeson shooting himself in the foot.The Marksman –– A sorry sight.
The Dig –– You won’t.
Skyfire –– Lava's sleep.
Butchers –– Meatier shower.
Bloody Hell –– Pique à boo.
Beyond Hell –– Aghast leak.
The Bid –– Bars tools.
My Little Sister –– Sis dumb analysis.
The White Tiger –– Drive scam.
MLK/FBI –– King’s ransom.
Some Kind of Heaven –– Dorky Heaven.
Film About a Father Who –– Daughter in awe.
Acasa, My Home –– Acasa is not su casa.
Spoof of the film Redemption Day where the main characters, a wife kidnapped by terrorists and the Marine husband looking to rescue her, are sinking in a sand pit marked JANUARY, the month when bad movies are released.Redemption Day –– Irredeemable.
Stars Fell on Alabama –– But not this movie.
Average Joe –– Well below.
If Not Now, When? –– Never.
The Devil’s Light –– In his loafers.
The Wrong Fiancé –– Marry, marry, quite contrary.
Zombie Bro –– Plaguemate.
The Reason I Jump –– Skip.

 

 

 

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E. Basil St. Blaise