CINEMA

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BlacKkKlansman –– Hoodwanked.
The Meg –– Shark weak.
Slender Man –– Skin and bones.
Dog Days –– Ruff patch.
A Prayer Before Dawn –– Kneel Dawn.
Summer of ’84 –– Sticky figures.
BuyBust –– Opportunity narcs.
Madeline’s Madeline –– Madeline con.
Skate Kitchen –– Board out of my mind.
Church & State –– Utah jizz.
The Island –– The hateful ait.
Along Came the Devil –– Possession is 9/10 of the bore.
Making a Killing –– Bury gory.
Hope Springs Eternal –– Cheery bomb.
Elizabeth Harvest –– Reaps what is so-so.

The Spy Who Dumped Me –– Postoperative.
Christopher Robin –– Tigger warning.
The Darkest Minds –– They’re switched off.
Death of a Nation –– John fill-up D’Souza.
The Miseducation of Cameron Post –– Post-waste.
Never Goin’ Back –– Keep your distance.
Nico, 1988 –– Cherchez la phlegm.
Night Comes On –– Po dark.
No Date, No Signature –– Forensic fies.
Gavagai –– Norwegian wooden.
Along With the Gods: The Last 49 Days –– Pee diety.
The Forest of the Lost Souls –– Leaves of grasp.
Revengeance –– Strike farce.
Mulk –– Not smash.
Milla –– Seconds.
Mission: Impossible - Fallout –– Cruise and unusual punishment.
Teen Titans Go! To the Movies –– Go on the movies.
Puzzle –– Jig sore.
Hot Summer Nights –– Sticky.
Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood –– Scotty pimpin’.
The Captain –– An aye for an aye.
Good Manners –– Well, excuuuse me.
Our House –– Threshold of pain.
Dead Night –– Slog cabin.
The Road to Edmond –– OK stupid.
The Bleeding Edge –– Spotty treatment.
14 Cameras –– Kitsch cam.
Scarred Hearts –– Pulmonary infraction.
Cocote –– Nuts.
93Queen –– EMTedium.
Citizen Clark…A Life of Principle –– Clark fable.
Winning Formula –– Play fast and lose.
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again –– ABBA cadaver.
Equalizer 2 –– Even so-so.
Unfriended: Dark Web –– Webitard.
Blindspotting –– Oakland faders.
McQueen –– Gowned offensive.
Maquia: When the Promised Flower Blooms –– This bud’s for you.
Generation Wealth –– Rich bitch.
The Third Murder –– Guilt-edged.
Occupation –– Hump invasion.
Pin Cushion –– Pans and needles.
Far From the Tree –– Parental deception is advised.
Damascus Cover –– Mos’ odd.
King Cohen: The Wild World of Filmmaker Larry Cohen –– Snow Cohen.
Larger Than Life: The Kevin Auction Story –– Makeup game.
Broken Star –– Clash act.
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation –– Skeleton cruise.
Skyscraper –– Going down.
Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot –– Lame cartoons.
Eighth Grade –– Tweenie roast.
Shock and Awe –– Schlock and snore.
What Will People Say –– ‘Don’t see it.’
Siberia –– Fools Russia in.
The Night Eats the World –– Midnight snack.
The Devil’s Doorway –– Door #2.
Holy Hell –– Heck work.
To Hell and Back –– Damned if you’re doo.
Gaughin: Voyage to Tahiti –– The Accidental Fauvist.
A Midsummer Night’s Dream –– Hacky Puck.
A Swingers Weekend –– Bonkers.
Poor Boy –– Strapped for cachet.
Dark Money –– Campaign finance deformed.
Davi’s Way –– Flunk Sinatra.
Paths of Blood –– Jihadi day’s night.
Angels on Tap –– Halo stop.
Ant-Man and the Wasp –– Insect asides.
The First Purge –– Slimin' pure.
Sorry to Bother You –– Forgive and forget.
Bleeding Steel –– Leave to Chan’s.
Whitney – Usin’.
Under the Tree –– Like root canal.
Ryuichi Sakamoto: Coda –– Da’ Coda fanning.
The Lighthouse –– Sea sore.
Sicario: Day of the Soldado –– Drag cartel.
Uncle Drew –– A blank.
Ideal Home –– With gay. Abandon.
Leave No Trace –– Doesn’t.
Dark River –– Ninny dip.
Three Identical Strangers –– Triple hammy.
This is Congo –– That is wrongo.
Woman Walks Ahead –– Squaw none.
Custody –– Custardy.
The Cakemaker –– Doughy.
Summer of ’67 –– Hippie dippie. Shake.
The Domestics –– Survival of the skittish.
Black Water –– Brackish.
Hover –– Craftless.
Love, Cecil –– Beaton off.
Winter Brothers –– Chalky.
Game Changers –– Quiz noes.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom –– Saur loser.
Damsel –– Distressing.
Izzy Get the F*ck Across Town –– Mess transit.
Marlina the Murderer in Four Acts –– Assault mined.
The King –– The royal wee-wee.
The Catcher Was a Spy –– The pitcher was a guy.
Boundaries –– Fall line.
Incident in a Ghost Land –– Lack eerie.
Never Steady, Never Still –– Ratty Steady go.
Brothers of the Wind –– Wind á loo.
Spiral –– Death Spiral.
Distorted –– Warp and whoops.
The Icarus Line Must Die –– Diddle us.
6 Dynamic Laws for Success (In Life, Love & Money) –– Fail afoul.
Incredibles 2 –– Below Parr.
Tag –– You’re shit.
Superfly –– Pushing galore.
Gotti –– Don lemon.
Loving Pablo –– Escobar brawl.
The Yellow Birds –– Deployable conditions.
Gabriel and the Mountain –– Mountin’ piques.
The Year of Spectacular Men –– Date nuts.
Eating Animals –– Vegetates.
Counterfeiters –– Repro man.
A Skin So Soft –– Avon crawling.
China Salesman –– Orient excess.
Vidar the Vampire –– Vidar blew.
Billy Boy –– Billy jack.
Ocean’s 8 –– She grab.
Hereditary –– Gene slicing.
Hotel Artemis –– Check-in shit.
Won’t You Be My Neighbor –– Rogers and hard.
Nancy –– Drool.
Westwood: Punk. Icon, Activist –– Viv-isection.
2036 Origin Unknown –– Missin’ to Mars.
Zoo –– Lukewarm cage.
The Workers Cup –– Goalie lox.
On the Seventh Day –– Give it a rest.
The Valley –– Hill and dull.
211 –– Heist and lows.
Doubtful –– Believ it be.
Hearts Beat Loud –– Thump day.
Bernard and Huey –– P-Huey!
Half the Picture –– Shenema scope.
The Quest of Alain Ducasse –– Gastropbub.
Adrift –– Floats alone.
Upgrade –– They should.
Action Point –– Amusement pock.
American Animals –– Book worms.
Breath –– Ass fixation.
A Kid Like Jake –– Jake pall.
All Summers End –– Don’t fall for it.
Rodin –– The wails of Auguste.
The Texture of Falling –– And failing.
Social Animals –– Instagrim.
The Last Witness –– Polish hound.
The Doctor from India –– Indian slummer.
Solo: A Star Wars Story –– Han wringing.
Mary Shelley –– Shelley-shocked.
How to Talk to Girls at Parties –– Training bah blah.
Who We Are Now –– Con artless.
Future World –– Too soon.
Summer 1993 –– To err is humid.
The Misandrists –– Sheesh devils.
Feral –– Maul rats.
In Darkness –– Dim.
The Gospel According to André –– Talley whacker.
How Long Will I Love U –– FU.
Deadpool 2 –– Jumps the snark.
Book Club –– Chapter and worse.
Dark Crimes –– Carrey grunt.
First Reformed –– Wresting bitch faith.
On Chesil Beach –– Chisels.
Show Dogs –– How to play dead.
Sollers Point –– Sollers eclipse.
Pope Francis: A Man of His Word –– Francis beacon.
The Hollow Child –– Shell game.
Welcome to the Men's Group –– Male pattern badness.
Saving Brinton –– Keeps it reel.
The Most Unknown –– Science. Fair.
That Summer –– Pads the Beale.
Life of the Party –– Gnarly McCarthy.
Breaking In –– Jimmy fallen.
Mountain –– Doo.
Revenge –– I spit on it’s grave.
Beast –– Suxy Beast.
Terminal –– Illness.
The Seagull –– Bum Chekhov.
Higher Power –– Not for Higher.
Film Worker –– Kubrick and martyr.
The Escape –– Rickety split.
The Assassin’s Code –– Zip Code.
The Day After –– Tricks of the betrayed.
Anything –– Else.
Boom for Real: the Late Teenage Years of Jean-Michael Basquiat –– Basquiat weaving.
Always at the Carlyle –– Shitty Carlyle.
Class Rank –– Degrade point average.
Measure of a Man –– Blubbery.
Kissing Booth –– Deserves a smack.
Champion –– Bomb-wrestling.
Born Guilty –– Suppurated at birth.
Another Kind of Wedding –– Wed rag.
The Last Horsemen of New York –– Carriage vows.
Tully –– Mother bored.
Bad Samaritan –– Burglar alarmed.
Son of Bigfoot –– Toe-headed.
Overboard –– Plunges.
The Cleanse –– Toxic waste. Dump.
RBG –– Badder Ginsburg.
Ray Meets Helen –– Mental Ray.
The Guardians –– Plougher outage.
Racer and the Jailbird –– Speed hump.
Altered Perception –– Bursting at the seems.
Strangers on the Earth –– Small wander.
Jeannette –– Clone of Arc.
Alex & the List –– Lists.
The Desert Bride –– Dry rot.
Angels Wear White –– Assaulty dog.
The 12th Man –– Dozen matter.
The Con is On –– Looticrous.
Avengers: Infinity War –– Lost its Marvels.
Disobedience –– Not kosher.
Let the Sunshine In –– Rays baiting.
Kings –– Suicide Kings.
Backstabbing for Beginners –– Impale into insignificance.
The House of Tomorrow –– Stock futures.
In the Last Days of the City –– Cairo he gypped.
Modern Life is Rubbish –– Like this.
The Escape of Prisoner 614 –– Bull vamoose.
Adventures in Public School –– Crapped pupil.
Supercon –– Average con.
American Socialist –– Debs collector.
Duck Butter –– Feminine hijinx.
The Test & the Art of Thinking –– Rectal exam.
I Feel Pretty –– Lousy.
Super Troopers 2 –– Staid drooper.
Traffik –– Stop!
Ghost Stories –– Deathless pros.
Duck Duck Goose –– A quackmire.
Imitation Girl –– Fake boob.
Kodachrome –– Film nowhere.
Godard Mon Amour –– Auteur immune deficiency.
The Devil and Father Amorth –– Amorthous.
And Then I Go –– Bladder up.
Little Pink House –– Eminent dumb main.
Corbin Nash –– Pluto’s cousin.
This Is Our Land –– Le Pen pals.
Edge of Isolation –– Separate but evil.
Beyond the Clouds –– Swill o’ the wisp.
Lou Andreas-Salomé: The Audacity to Be Free –– Hard Salomé.
After Auschwitz –– Camp follower.
Wanderland –– Alas in.
44 Pages –– Lowlights magazine.
Love & Bananas: An Elephant Story –– Or Woody Allen lost sequel.

TOP

OSCAR NOTORIOUS 2018

Best Picture Nominees:

Call Me By Your Name –– The male gays.
Darkest Hour –– Churchill downs.
Dunkirk –– Bombs a ways.
Get Out –– Black bolt.
Lady Bird –– Snowed Bird.
Phantom Thread –– Sew-sew.
The Post –– Post waste.
The Shape of Water –– Sop story.
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri –– Ebbing away.

Rampage –– Monsters and Johnson.
Beirut –– Of all evil.
Truth or Dare –– Not all dare.
Borg vs. McEnroe –– Rally craps.
The Rider –– Saddle bum.
Marrowbone –– Calcified.
Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero –– Stubby K-9.
Grace Jones: Bloodlight and Bam! –– Androgynous bosh.
Zama –– Jammer ding-dong.
Wildling –– Away the hours.
Submergence –– Not too deep.
10x100 –– Hundred poof.
Aardvark –– Gums up the quirks.
Cake –– Of soap.
Krystal –– Mess.
Bye Bye Germany –– The bitte end.
Color Me You –– Surely hue jest.
An Ordinary Man –– Serb's notice.
Flock of Four –– Flock of twee gulls.
Hitler’s Hollywood –– Führer-star movies.
The Judge –– Shari’a bomb.
Nana –– Seconds.

A Quiet Place –– Shush funned.
Blockers –– Cocksnore.
Chappaquiddick –– Splash down.
You Were Never Really Here –– Nope, stayed home.
The Miracle Season –– Folly ball.
The Endless –– Feels like it.
Lean on Pete –– Pete’s draggin'.
Lowlife –– Fink tanks.
Sweet Country –– Aboriginal sin.
Where Is Kyra? –– Kyra nightly.
Rogers Park –– Chicago whites suck.
Spinning Man –– Circle jerk.
The Humanity Bureau –– Oh, the Humanity!
Pandas –– Bear aspirant.
The Heart of Nuba –– Sudan impact.
Ready Player One –– Ruse of the game.
Tyler Perry’s Acrimony –– Spleen gems.
Finding Your Feet –– Take a hike.
Gemini –– Twin piques.
God’s Not Dead: A Light in Darkness –– Just sleeping through this.
The Last Movie Star –– Reynolds wrap.
Love After Love –– Grieve gauche.
Status Update –– App pupil.
The China Hustle –– Dim some.
The Gardener –– Plant parenthood.
Outside In –– Inversion therapy.
After Louie –– Louie loo why?
Birthmarked –– Wacky mole.
All I Wish –– Fancy pants.
Caught –– Napping.
Pacific Rim Uprising –– Rim shot.
Isle of Dogs –– Woof of desperation.
Sherlock Gnomes –– Parts ungnome.
Unsane –– Soderbuggy.
Final Portrait –– Sitting bull.
Paul, Apostle of Christ –– Apaulling.
Midnight Sun –– A shit in the dark.
I Kill Giants –– Short on breadth.
Pyewacket –– Why pack it?
Game Over, Man –– Tilts.
A Bag of Marbles –– Inactive shooter.
Getting Grace –– Lapse from Grace.
Madame –– Maid concessions.
Back to Burgundy –– Stick with ripple.
The Workshop –– Writer of wrongs.
Ismael’s Ghosts –– Don't call me, Ismael.
What We Started –– Dead beats.
Beauty and the Dogs –– Smelling assaults.
Tomb Raider –– Croft boobery.
Love, Simon –– Little boy lust.
I Can Only Imagine –– A blank screen.
7 Days in Entebbe –– Raided X.
Journey’s End –– Trenchain’t.
Flower –– Petal harder.
Dear Dictator –– Tyrant power.
Demon House –– Take home pain.
Ramen Heads –– Use your noodle.
Josie –– And the pushy cats.
Keep the Change –– Lose Change.
Us and Them –– Wee.
The Happys –– Miserable.
Augie –– Augie dookie.
Yesterday Went With Yesterday –– Like there's no tomorrow?
Furlough –– For low.
No Light and No Land Anywhere –– Hopeless.
Allure –– Pull over sweaters.
A Wrinkle in Time –– L’Engle biter.
Gringo –– Tax Mex.
The Hurricane Heist –– Blew man group.
The Death of Stalin –– Mourning Joe.
The Leisure Seeker –– Pall RV.
Thoroughbreds –– Death colts.
1:54 –– Not 2 great.
The Strangers: Prey at Night –– Stalk dirty.
The Forgiven –– So sorry.
Leaning Into the Wind –– Air pud.
Claire’s Camera –– Snaps out of it.
Itzhak –– Bow diddly.
Where Have You Gone, Lou DiMaggio? –– Lou’s out.
3 Storeys –– Flight risk.
Bieber Generation –– Bieber damn.
Bent –– Over.
Red Sparrow –– Jack Sparrow.
Death Wish –– Bronson pain show.
Gnome Alone –– Gnome mas!
Foxtrot –– KIA stinker.
Goldstone –– Outback stakeout.
Midnighters –– Morning gory.
Oh, Lucy! –– Lucy goosey.
Did You Wonder Who Fired the Gun? –– Not so shot.
The Vanishing of Sidney Hall –– Hall pass.
Eat Me –– Chew confessions.
Ravenous –– Eat me.
They Remain –– I leave.
Souvenir –– Totaled recall.
Mohawk –– American hairlines.
Submission –– Impossible.
Annihilation –– Wipeout.
Game Night –– All irk, no play.
The War with Grandpa –– Half a gramp.
Every Day ––Repeat after meh.
The Cured –– Hams.
The Young Karl Marx –– Marx time.
Death House –– Spoiler room.
The Lodgers –– Low rent.
Curvature –- Of the spineless.
Are We Not Cats –– Pussies.
Hannah –– Wander woman.
Half Magic –– Half tragic.
The Chamber –– Pot.
Black Panther –– Wakanda minimum.
Early Man –– Man caves.
Samson –– Remember the mane.
Double Lover –– Two two tootsie, goodbye.
The Party –– Nothing to celebrate.
Tehran Taboo –– Iran outs the kinks.
Loveless –– Hateful.
Western –– Worst Western.
The Boy Downstairs –– Not on the level.
Nostalgia –– Bawlers.
The Housemaid –– Maid a mess.
Irreplaceable You –– Sub par.
Fifty Shades Freed –– Freed at last.
Peter Rabbit –– Hop, skip and dump.
The 15:17 to Paris –– Basic training.
Golden Exits –– Golden oddly.
Permission –– Denied.
Entanglement –– Unravels.
Monster Family –– Paw relations.
Bomb City –– Punk mates.
Becks –– Git box.
Still/Born –– DOA.
The Female Brain –– Brain farce.
Basmati Blues –– White on rice.
Winchester –– Rifle through.
Before We Vanish –– Poof! piece.
Bilal: A New Breed of Hero –– Banal.
24 Frames –– Per sucking.
In the Intense Now –– Now, now.
Braven –– Dark logger.
Scorched Earth –– Dead singe.
Lies We Tell –– True defective.
Living Among Us –– A coffin fit.
The Music of Silence –– Bocelli and jam.
Wastelander –– Barren trump.
A Lesson in Cruelty –– Watching this.
Driving While Black –– POC marks.
The Cage Fighter –– The cage wins.
Maze Runner: The Death Cure –– Maze aka Corn.
Please Stand By –– Star Trek into dorkness.
American Folk –– Folk dunces.
Like Me –– Alike and alas.
A Ciambra –– Unpleasanter Roma.
Have a Nice Day –– Not after this.
Kickboxer: Retaliation –– Foot licker.
The Clapper –– Hand jobs.
Pad Man –– Bad, man.
The Competition –– Vie, oh why?
Bucky and the Squirrels –– Bucky don’t.
Desolation –– Rote.
The Neighbor –– Peeper’s creepers.
West of the Jordan River –– Jordan appeal.
12 Strong –– From bad to warhorse.
Den of Theves –– U.S. steal.
Forever My Girl –– Treacle down.
Mary and the Witch’s Flower –– Ghibli gravy.
Small Town Crime –– Cop a drag.
Mom and Dad –– Ma and par.
The Final Year –– Anno dyin’.
Gintama –– Samawry.
The Midnight Man –– 12 o’clock low.
The Road Movie -– Dash scam.
Mama Africa –– Makeba and misses meller.
Beuys –– Oh boy!
This Giant Papier-Mache Boulder is Actually Really Heavy –– Prop art.
Kangaroo –– Caught.
Paddington 2 –– Bear ugh.
The Commuter –– Transit flub.
Proud Mary –– Shouldn’t be.
Lover for a Day –– Bull de jour.
The Insult –– Dis is us.
Saturday Church –– Trans fixed.
Freak Show –– Out and out.
Vazante –– Slave. Mock it.
Inside –– Mother rusher.
Acts of Violence –– Taken for granted.
Just Charlie –– Male sorter.
Abe & Phil’s Last Poker Game –– Bet noir.
A Demon Within –– ’Sup with the devil?
The Lucky Man –– Dupe process.
My Art –– Arty, sure.
Almost Paris –– City of flight.
Insidious: The Last Key –– Shit out of lock.
In Between –– Bad and awful.
The Strange Ones –– Anomalous botch.
Blame –– Bitchy fingers.
Stratton –– Sigh ops.
Django –– Grind hard.
Devil’s Gate –– Gateway drag.
Sheikh Jackson –– Sheikh with laughter.
Anatomy of a Male Ballet Dancer –– Jeté blue.
Madtown –– Kook de ville.
Day of the Dead: Bloodline –– Exhume focus.

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E. Basil St. Blaise