Critic's Corner

CINEMA

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The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It –– Hell’s spells.
Carnivores –– Bite me.
Gully –– Bull.
Flashback –– Before and dafter.
Witnesses –– Latter-day feints.
Death in Texas –– Tex addicts.
Hero Mode –– Glower champion.
Grace and Grit –– Disease of the weak.
Under the Stadium Lights –– Bleacher bumps.
Spirit Untamed –– Break rank.
Undine –– Wet nap.
My Tender Matador –– Toro doody.
All Light, Everywhere –– Flashy.
An Impossible Project –– Camera obscurer.
Super Frenchie –– BASE on balls.
The Real Thing –– Untrue confessions.

Cruella –– De Volve.
A Quiet Place Part II –– Heard immunity.
Endangered Species –– Graduates with extinction.
Port Authority –– Terminal.
American Traitor: The Trial of Axis Sally –– Long, small Sally.
Shepherd: The Story of a Jewish Dog –– Kvetch, boy!
Funhouse –– Arcade misfire.
Women –– !
Moby Doc –– Mopey dick.
Ahead of the Curve –– The road lez traveled.

The Dry –– Desiccation row.
Dream Horse –– Gallop pall.
I Carry You With Me –– Gay caballeros.
Milkwater –– The milky waste.
Drunk Bus –– Bum steers.
The Retreat –– Haven forbid.
Seance –– Moan down.
Dementia Part II –– Skulldrudgery.
New Order –– Chuckled decadence.
Bad Tales –– Doi story.
Spring Blossom –– Fleur model.
Into the Darkness –– Danes’ haul days.
When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit –– Loafer’s leap.
Final Account –– Dead to Reich’s.
The New Deal for Artists –– Hit the deco.

Army of the Dead –– Corporal punishment.
Those Who Wish Me Dead –– Not dead, exactly…
Spiral –– Screwy.
The Djinn –– Rummy.
The Killing of Two Lovers –– Screwicide.
Georgetown –– Washington nits.
Finding You –– Finding yawn.
Riders of Justice –– Doesn’t track.
The Man in The Hat –– Brimming with clichés.
High Ground –– Aboriginal sin.
There Is No Evil –– But there is Bad.
Profile –– In discourage.
The Perfect Candidate –– For recycling bin.

Wrath of Man –– Fury rote.
Here Today –– Gonged tomorrow.
Above Suspicion –– Beneath contempt.
The Paper Tigers –– Dull roar.
Paper Spiders –– Crepey crawly.
The Water Man –– Takes a leak.
Mainstream –– Down your leg.
Benny Loves You –– Benny horror.
Initiation –– Feeble.
Equal Standard –– Par cheesy.
Locked In –– Too closed for comfort.
Mission Stories –– Abort Mission.
Undergods –– Do wha’? deity.
Enfant Terrible –– Reign ‘a wormy Fassbinder.
The Columnist –– Column bind.
The Unthinkable –– Who’d a thunk it?
Emily @ the Edge of Chaos –– Emily posed.

Four Good Days –– Two bad hours.
Percy vs. Goliath –– Percy sludge.
The Virtuoso –– Deft punk.
The Resort –– Stay away.
Triumph –– Palsy woozy.
Golden Arm –– Pin down.
Cliff Walkers –– Ravine lunatics.
Limbo –– Limpo.
About Endlessness –– Tedium rare.
Berlin Alexanderplatz –– Splatz.
Dope is Death –– Then this is dope.

Mortal Kombat –– Ham to ham.
The Asset –– Asset trips.
Together Together –– Out of joint.
The Space Between –– Which is empty.
Trigger Point –– Give the finger.
Wildcat –– Claw enforcement.
Sweet River –– Float and eddy.
Bloodthirsty –– Maw and paw.
Unearth –– Put back in.
The Deep Ones –– Shallow Hell.
Wet Season –– One damp thing after another.
Demon Slayer -Kimetsu No Yaiba- The Movie: Mugen Train –– Like the title says.
My Wonder Wanda –– Wanda version.
Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street –– Remember the Elmo.
Tiny Tim: King for a Day –– March of the falsetto.
8 Billion Angels –– Passing fancy.

Gunda –– Sow-sow.
In the Earth –– Bury it.
Vanquish –– Beaten down.
Night of the Sicario –– or You Can’t Trademark Nouns Even in Spanish.
The Rookies –– Rook us.
Jakob’s Wife –– Jakob’s sadder.
For the Sake of Vicious –– Hope he likes it.
Monday –– Week kneed.
We Broke Up –– The minute they opened their mouths.
Beast Beast –– Worst worst.
Hope –– Not.
Kenny Scharf: When Worlds Collide –– Scharf-witted.

Assault on VA-33 –– Vet work.
Voyagers –– Null, Voyagers.
Held –– In contempt.
My True Fairytale –– True blew.
Slalom –– Off ski.
The Tunnel –– Of hate.
Moffie –– Floppy and Moffie.
Giants Being Lonely –– No biggie.
Looking for a Lady With Fangs and a Mustache –– Nepal twister.
As Luck Would Have It –– Flat chance.

Godzilla vs. Kong –– Won’t you, behemoth neighbor?
Shiva Baby –– Wake until dark.
Every Breath You Take –– Suck it up.
Say Your Prayers –– And you might be spared this.
Funny Face –– Mask hysteria.
The Unholy –– Mess.
The Boonies –– Made by baboonies.
Space Dogs: Tropical Adventure –– Hit paws.
The Girl Who Believes in Miracles –– Thinks this will flop.
Violet Evergarden: The Movie –– Violet begets violence.

Nobody –– No, buddy.
The Toll –– Easy pass.
The Vault –– Combination lack.
Six Minutes to Midnight –– Brit blocks.
The Seventh Day –– Give it a rest.
First Signal –– On the blinker.
Senior Moment –– Senile biter.
Shoplifters of the World –– Klepto abysmal.
Mystery of the Kingdom of God –– Jesus Christ, alrighty?
Francesco –– Pope innocent?
Tina –– Turner for the worse.
Kuessipan –– Canada dry heave.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League –– Ouchy DC.
The Courier –– Doc block.
The Heiress –– Will call.
City of Lies –– No Biggie.
Happily –– Never after.
Doors –– Slam.
Last Call –– Cut to the chaser.
Phobias –– Afraid so.
Dark State –– Turn out the lights.
Enforcement –– Cops, some Zs.
Food Club –– Pruned Danish.
Wojnarowicz –– AIDS is enough.

TOP

WHODAT? JUST OSCAR. 2021

Best Picture Nominees:

The Father –– Forget-me nod.
Judas and the Black Messiah –– Traitor joke.
Mank –– Wank.
Minari –– Farmer in the dull.
Nomadland –– Roamin’ noes.
Promising Young Woman –– Rapier whit.
Sound of Metal –– On blackboard.
The Trial of the Chicago Seven –– Yippie K.O.

Cosmic Sin –– Tabooboo.
Long Weekend –– Blown kisses.
Insight –– A riot.
Come True –– False positive.
Honydew –– Honey, don’t.
The Waiting –– Patient pending.
Dutch –– Go, Dutch!
Trust –– Inspires none.
Abandoned: Angelique’s Isle –– Maroon dive.
The Human Voice –– Butt heard.
Lamb of God: The Concert Film –– Agonies day.
Dark Web: Cicada 3301 –– Sick a' dat.
Still Life in Lodz –– Lodz, you be my neighbor.

Raya and the Last Dragon –– Raya’s Hell.
Chaos Walking –– Stumble bum.
Coming 2 America –– Point of no return.
The Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run –– Sponge unworthy.
Sophie Jones –– Sophie: love seat.
My Salinger –– Zany and Phooey.
Pixie –– Dust.
Boogie –– Noogie.
The Winter Lake –– Cuts no ice.
Sometime Other Than Now –– Later hosin’.
Son –– Belt.
Dreamcatcher –– Black sleep of the family.
The Devil Below –– Tush of evil.
The Truffle Hunters –– Hog mild.
Stray –– Stray bullshit.
F.T.A. –– Nam de guerre.
Gustave Stickley: American Craftsman –– Prickley.

Tom and Jerry –– Cat scant.
Cherry –– Bust Cherry.
The Father –– Forget-me nod.
Crisis –– Mold.
My Zoe –– Zoe tropes.
The United States vs. Billie Holiday –– Lady stinks, the blues.
The Killing of Two Lovers –– Stunned double.
Vigil –– Anti.
Night of the Kings –– Keister the kingdom.
Billie Eilish: The World's a Little Blurry –– Lack of the Eilish.

Nomadland –– Roamin’ noes.
Blithe Spirit –– Blight spirit.
Joe Bell –– Pea’s prize.
Silk Road –– High in plain site.
Body Brokers –– Junkie heap.
Burn It All –– Starting with the sets!
Paranormal Prison –– Scars and bars.
The Violent Heart –– Clinch mob.
Days of the Bagnold Summer –– Mother humpher.
Jumbo –– Buggy ride.
Sin –– Sistine scandals.
Truth to Power –– Huffy metal.

Judas and the Black Messiah –– Traitor joke.
Minari –– Farmer in the dull.
The Mauritanian –– Detention venter.
Land –– With a thud.
French Exit –– Any porte in a storm.
The World to Come –– Petticoat junk. Shun.
Music –– Hum-job.
Lapsis –– In judgment.
Cowboys –– And/or girls.
Willy’s Wonderland –– Doesn’t give me Willy’s.
Fear of Rain –– Drops off.
Adverse –– I am.
Dead Pigs –– Oink blot.
Twilight’s Kiss –– Apt original title: Suk Suk.
Show Me What You Got –– Can’t just be this.
Meltdown –– Go with the floe.

Little Fish –– In a big bomb.
Palmer –– Con descension.
Falling –– Flop doodle.
Minimata –– Mini matter.
Son of the South –– Klan getaway.
The Wanting Mare –– You'll be wanting more.
The Right One –– Ox beau incident.
The Reckoning –– Every witch way.
Reunion –– Out of joined.
Red Woods –– Root awakening.
The Mimic –– Stunted double.
Two of Us –– Ohhh… pair.
Rams –– Butt holes.
Dara of Jasenovac –– Serb as a guinea pig.
Earwig and the Witch –– Potion sickness.
Heartworn Highways –– More heart worm.
A Glitch in the Matrix –– Redress code.
Woman in Motion –– Uhuru the day.
M.C. Escher: Journey to Infinity –– Optical allusions.

The Little Things –– Nit knack.
Supernova –– The Firth of froth.
Breaking News in Yuba County –– And wind.
Saint Maud –– Maudlin.
The Night –– Distended stay.
Wrong Turn –– If you entered theatre.
Caged –– Can of worm.
Aliens, Clowns & Geeks –– Strange into lewd.
Haymaker –– Punchy.
Dear Comrades! –– The spasibo effect.
True Mothers –– Maternity. Leave.

Locked Down –– Quarantoon.
American Skin –– Thin Skin.
Our Friend –– Unfriend.
Baby Done –- Baby dumb.
No Man’s Land –– Grody to the Mex.
Brothers by Blood –– Type ‘Oh, negative!’
Psycho Goreman –– Roger, Goreman.
Atlantis –– Sinks without trace.
Identifying Features –– Facile recognition.
Spoor –– Loser.
Preparations to be Together For an Unknown Period of Time –– More pretentious than the title.
You Will Die at Twenty –– Minutes in.
Notturno –– False notte.

The Marksman –– A sorry sight.
The Dig –– You won’t.
Skyfire –– Lava's sleep.
Butchers –– Meatier shower.
Bloody Hell –– Pique à boo.
Beyond Hell –– Aghast leak.
The Bid –– Bars tools.
My Little Sister –– Sis dumb analysis.
The White Tiger –– Drive scam.
MLK/FBI –– King’s ransom.
Some Kind of Heaven –– Dorky Heaven.
Film About a Father Who –– Daughter in awe.
Acasa, My Home –– Acasa is not su casa.

Redemption Day –– Irredeemable.
Stars Fell on Alabama –– But not this movie.
Average Joe –– Well below.
If Not Now, When? –– Never.
The Devil’s Light –– In his loafers.
The Wrong Fiancé –– Marry, marry, quite contrary.
Zombie Bro –– Plaguemate.
The Reason I Jump –– Skip.