CINEMA

Click images to enlarge
How to Train Your Dragon –– A minor Hiccup.
Materialists –– Match madness.
The Unholy Trinity –– Three square males.
Bark –– Forest gimp.
Diablo –– Or nothing.
Morgan: Killer Doll –– A real poser.
The Dogs –– Bite sighs.
Sex –– Cums as a relief.
Only We Know –– How bad it is.
Meeting with Pol Pot –– Hits the jerk Pot.
Tatami –– Mat finish.
Prime Minister –– Ardern fast rules.
Simple Minds: Everything is Possible –– Minds melt.
A Man with Sole: The Impact of Kenneth Cole –– Cole sweat.

From the World of John Wick: Ballerina –– Should take a flying leap.
Dangerous Animals –– Sea urpin’.
The Life of Chuck –– Chuck a lug.
I Don’t Understand You –– Sadly, I do.
The Ritual –– Dead to rites.
Echo Valley –– Do not repeat.
Barron’s Cove –– Dog of the bay.
Little Angels –– Goal brick.
Sunlight –– Dim lit.
The Gardener –– Fleur de least.
DAN DA DAN: Evil Eye –– Pan pa pan.
The Last Twins –– Second slight.
Garland Jeffreys: The King of In Between –– No hit.

Karate Kid: Legends –– Choppy.
The Phoenician Scheme –– Anderson pooper.
Bring Her Back –– Stiff as a broad.
Tornado –– Illy.
The Wilde Girls –– Buck Wilde.
Tim Travers and the Time Traveler's Paradox –– Traversty.
Ballerina Assassin –– Pas de duh!
Peppa Meets the Baby –– Peppa corn.
Lost in Starlight –– Flicker license.
Ghost Trail –– Tracking shot.
Ron Delsener Presents –– Acts grinding.
Television Event –– Musty TV.
It’s All Gonna Break –– It already did.

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning –– A Mission of guilt.
Lilo & Stitch –– Lilo me.
Fountain of Youth –– Regress of grievances.
The Last Rodeo –– Dead lasso.
The New Boy –– Nun apologetic.
Jane Austen Wrecked My Life –– Jane d’oh.
The Surrender –– I give up.
Trail of Vengeance –– Trail’s off.
The Protector –– Pointless guard.
The Eternal Song –– Hum dumb.

Hurry Up Tomorrow –– In a Weeknd state.
Final Destination Bloodlines –– Not final enough.
The Severed Sun –– Cutoff geez.
Bound –– And I gagged.
The Ruse –– Isn’t fooling anyone.
Desert Dawn –– Moon over maimin’.
Things Like This –– Shouldn’t be released.
To Live and Die and Live –– And die.
July 7: Who Killed the President of Haiti? –– Haiti-watch.
The Kiss –– Charter buss.
Next Sohee –– So hee-hee.
Love –– Shat.
The Old Woman With the Knife –– Chop class.
Sister Midnight –– Deranged marriage.
Deaf President Now! –– Say what?

Friendship –– Bud slight.
Fight or Flight –– Soar points.
Nonnas –– No-nos.
Juliet & Romeo –– Crapulet & Montagoo.
Henry Johnson –– Buck Henry.
Sharp Corner –– Cut Corner.
Clown in a Cornfield –– Scare croak.
The Moogai –– Abunoriginal.
Unit 234 –– Clod storage.
Lilly –– Silly.
Watch the Skies –– Stars at the bottom.
Daydreamers –– Blood vassal.
Black Tea –– Leaf alone.
Marcella –– Pizza pallor.

Thunderbolts* –– Lightning in a battle.
Rust –– Sleeps.
The Surfer –– Ruin and board.
Rosario –– Rose and fell.
A Tooth Fairy Tale –– Molar power.
Fear Below –– Jaws droppings.
A Desert –– Dry rube.
Off the Record –– Spin psychos.
Electra -– Boring becomes Electra.
Salvable –– Salve your time.
Bonjour Tristesse –– Sad in any language.
Words of War –– Martial low.
Untold –– I wish.
Holy Night: Demon Hunters –– Chasing tale.
Pavements –– Cracks up.
Swamp Dogg Gets His Pool Painted –– Aqua moron.

The Accountant 2 –– Dumber cruncher.
On Swift Horses –– Bet noire.
Until Dawn –– Nightmare ally.
Winter Spring Summer or Fall –– Falls.
Neighborhood Watch –– Bush patrol.
The Trouble with Jessica –– Jess shoot me.
A Normal Family –– Below average.
April –– Sours.
Shttl –– Shoah trial.
Cheech & Chong’s Last Movie –– Pot shots.
Emergent City –– Concrete solutions.
Drop Dead City –– Urban out fibbers.
Jimmy in Saigon –– Nam rank and surreal number.

Sinners –– And losers.
The Shrouds –– Dear old dead.
G20 –– Keep Kamala and stray strong.
The Wedding Banquet –– Ups the yin Yang.
The Legend of Ochi –– Ouchie!
It Feeds –– It sure bites.
The Death of Snow White –– Too soon?
All the Lost Ones –– Unfounded.
Invention –– The muddle of.
Sod & Stubble –– Sod busted.
Sneaks –– or Kicks: the Shit Out.
The President's Wife –– Deneuve of her!
The Ugly Stepsister –– The ugly ducking.
MuMu –– EwEw.
1-800-ON-HER-OWN –– Dial back.
Neil Young: Coastal –– Shore shot.

The Amateur –– Training wreck.
Drop –– Do drop.
Warfare –– Battle scared.
Sacramento –– Spurious.
Marshmallow –– Squishy.
Zero –– That’s generous.
Gunslingers –– Oater eliminators.
That They May Face the Rising Sun –– Dawn and out.
The Italians –– Pasta ‘sa fool.
The Chosen: Last Supper - Part 3 –– Pass over.
The King of Kings –– Easter bomblet.
The Teacher –– Private tooter.
One to One: John & Yoko –– Yucko.

A Minecraft Movie –– Ass cubes.
Freaky Tales –– Oakland ehs?
The Luckiest Man in America –– He missed this.
A Nice Indian Boy –– Agravating.
William Tell –– Doof Tell.
Eric LaRue –– Trash LaRue.
Psycho Therapy: The Shallow Tale Of A Writer Who Decided To Write About A Serial Killer –– Guilt written.
Ed Kemper –– Kemper tantrums.
Hell of a Summer –– Humid tragedy.
Wake Up –– Not for this.
Gazer –– Eye-yi-yi.
The Chosen: Last Supper - Part 2 –– Judaean dessert.
When Fall Is Coming –– Trips up.
Párvulos: Children of the Apocalypse –– End runts.
The Hermit of Treig –– Scot: flee.

The Penguin Lessons –– Twaddle's along.
A Working Man –– Laborious.
Death of a Unicorn –– Horn dog.
The Friend –– Great disdain.
The Ballad of Wallis Island –– Wallis and vomit.
The Woman in the Yard –– Hand her a rake.
The Chosen: Last Supper – Part 1 –– Unappetizing.
Audrey’s Childen –– Audrey unhep burn.
Julie Keeps Quiet –– I can still hear you!
My Love Will Make You Disappear –– Go love yourself.
Holy Cow –– Vache out.
Grand Tour –– Goes nowhere.
Thank You Very Much ––Unhandy Kaufman.
Art for Everybody –– Thomas kink aid.
Janis Ian: Breaking Silence –– And a mighty wind.

TOP

AWARDS AND ALL 2025

Best Picture Nominees:

Anora–– A snorer.
The Brutalist –– The brutalest.
A Complete Unknown –– It ain’t he, babe.
Conclave –– The papal chase.
Dune: Part Two –– Arid, extras dry.
Emilia Pérez –– Pérez scope down.
I’m Still Here — I can smell.
Nickel Boys –– Plugged Nickel.
The Substance –– Sticky ticket.
Wicked–– Offs witch.

Snow White –– Fizzle while you work.
The Alto Kings –– Lower than The Sopranos.
Ash –– Can.
Locked –– And load dead.
Magazine Dreams –– Spreads too thin.
Popeye the Slayer Man –– Cursed like a sailor.
The Assessment –– Devalue judgment.
Bob Trevino Likes It -– Nobody else.
McVeigh –– Car-boom!
Midas Man –– Beatles’ Jew.
The Heirloom –– Inherit vice.
Hood Witch –– Hood wink.
Misericordia –– Misery accorded ya.
Being Maria –– I can’t believe it’s not butter!
Secret Mall Apartment –– Grand mall seizure.
AUM: The Cult at the End of the World –– AUM for the poor.
A Cursed Man –– Magical stinking.

Black Bag –– Spies up their marriage.
Novocaine –– Painful.
Borderline –– Marginal.
Pet Shop Days –– Hamster damn.
High Rollers –– Crap’s out.
Opus –– Oh, piss.
The Actor –– Role’s over.
The Last Supper –– Jesus crept.
The World Will Tremble –– Sits shiver.
Who By Fire –– Who be fired?
The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie –– Porky and mess.
An Unfinished Film –– A reel pain.
October 8 –– Hamas home its point.
Leila and the Wolves –– Pack it in.
Papa –– Pill Papa.
There Is Another Way –– To spend 10 bucks.

Mickey 17 –– Slipped up Mickey.
In the Lost Lands –– Lost on appeal.
Queen of the Ring –– Wrestle moanier.
The Rule of Jenny Pen –– Bull Pen.
The Visitor –– Meet the f**kers.
Rule Breakers –– Robotic.
Eephus –– Alone.
We’re All Gonna Die –– Death blows.
The Island Between Tides –– Neap in the bud.
Guns of Redemption –– Barrel of laughs.
The Fetus –– Stilted born.
There’s Still Tomorrow –– Beat the missus.
The Empire –– Strikes out.
My Motherland –– Bomb de terre.

Last Breath –– Past its expiration date.
Riff Raff –– Crime slobbers.
Cold Wallet –– Cash out.
My Dead Friend Zoe –– Beyond the pal.
No Address –– Return to sender.
Uppercut –– Punchy.
The Accidental Getaway Driver –– Abettor safe then sorry.
The Golden Voice –– Warbly porker.
Is It a Crime? –– Guilty as discharged.
Adult Best Friends –– All thrown up.
A Sloth Story –– Hanger’s stakes.
Brother After War –– Vet willies.
The Klezmer Project –– Accordion vile.

The Monkey –– Organ grinding.
Cleaner –– Window wipeout.
The Comeback Trail –– Return drip.
Old Guy –– Secret aged man.
Lifeline –– Suicide’s wheeze.
The Unbreakable Boy –– Cracked.
Millers in Marriage –– Millers crossing up.
Ex-Husbands –– Formers’ cheese.
Everyone Is Going to Die –– Kill me now.
Daniel’s Gotta Die –– No argument.
Invader –– Stress passing.
Ne Zha 2 ––I Ne Zha translation.
Invasion –– Dutch oofin’.
The Quiet Ones –– Vocal yokels.
Art Spiegelman: Disaster Is My Muse –– Mausketeer.
UnBroken –– War-torn school.

Captain America: Brave New World –– A falcon’ nightmare.
Paddington in Peru –– Oso predictable.
Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy –– Jones down massacre.
You, Me & Her –– Three dog night.
Rounding –– Out.
The Long Game –– Can’t wait.
Universal Language –– Lingua flunker.
Kid Snow –– Flustered flakes.
Becoming Led Zeppelin –– Like a Led balloon.
SNL50: The Homecoming Concert –– Mowed Lorne.

Love Hurts –– Pain in an ass.
Heart Eyes –– Hurt eyes.
Dark Nuns –– Out of Order.
Bring Them Down –– Brought me down.
Are You There? –– No there There.
When I’m Ready –– Or not.
Suze –– Snuze.
I Love You Forever –– Rom glom.
Jazzy –– Jizzy.
Renner –– Mute.
No Chains No Master –– The weakest link.
Parthenope –– Italian undressing.
Paint Me a Rode Out of Here –– Please!

Love Me –– Technical eros.
Companion –– Unaccompanied. Minor.
Green and Gold –– Farm to unstable.
Dog Man –– Growls old.
Valiant One –– Numb but the brave.
Screamboat –– Crew’s control.
Like Father, Like Son –– I like neither.
Marcello Bio –– 8 1/2 out of 100.
No Other Land –– Gaza guzzler.
Time Passages –– Clock blockers.

Presence –– Of mindless.
Flight Risk –– Wing dinged.
The Performance –– Sells out.
Brave the Dark –– Turn out the lights.
Into the Deep –– Water logged.
Inheritance –– Nil will.
Myth of Man –– Myth appropriation.
The Colors Within –– Hue must be kidding.
Liza: A Truly Terrific Absolutely True Story –– Vanilla-y Minnelli.
Pay Dirt: The Story of Supercross –– Spins its wheels.

Wolf Man –– Arse seen lupine.
One of Them Days –– In no! time.
Wish You Were Here –– Suffering with me.
Alarum –– Fire Alarum.
Both Eyes Open –– Staring at nothing.
Grand Theft Hamlet –– Creeps in their petty pace.
And the Breadwinner Is… –– Brings home the beggin'.
I’m Still Here — I can smell.
Night Call –– One ringy dingy.
Dig! XX –– Dig!: the dirt.

Den of Thieves 2: Pantera –– Past dense.
The Last Showgirl –– Vaguest strip.
The Damned –– or The Audience.
Hard Truths –– Honest to a fault.
Birdeater –– Beaks and troughs.
Putin –– Vlad all over.
Black Diamond –– Shit and polish.
Laws of Man –– Barely legal.
Disfluency –– Tongue depressor.
The Prosecutor –– Guilty as discharged.
Every Little Thing –– Ho humming.
Diane Warren: Relentless –– I relent!