Critic's Corner

CINEMA

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Captain America: Brave New World –– A falcon’ nightmare.
Paddington in Peru –– Oso predictable.
Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy –– Jones down massacre.
You, Me & Her –– Three dog night.
Rounding –– Out.
The Long Game –– Can’t wait.
Universal Language –– Lingua flunker.
Kid Snow –– Flustered flakes.
Becoming Led Zeppelin –– Like a Led balloon.
SNL50: The Homecoming Concert –– Mowed Lorne.

Love Hurts –– Pain in an ass.
Heart Eyes –– Hurt eyes.
Dark Nuns –– Out of Order.
Bring Them Down –– Brought me down.
Are You There? –– Why?
When I’m Ready –– Or not.
Suze –– Snuze.
I Love You Forever –– Rom glom.
Jazzy –– Jizzy.
Renner –– Mute.
No Chains No Master –– The weakest link.
Parthenope –– Italian undressing.
Paint Me a Rode Out of Here –– Please!

Love Me –– Technical eros.
Companion –– Unaccompanied. Minor.
Green and Gold –– Farm to unstable.
Dog Man –– Growls old.
Valiant One –– Numb but the brave.
Screamboat –– Crew’s control.
Like Father, Like Son –– I like neither.
Marcello Bio –– 8 1/2 out of 100.
No Other Land –– Gaza guzzler.
Time Passages –– Clock blockers.

TOP

Presence –– Of mindless.
Flight Risk –– Wing dinged.
The Performance –– Sells out.
Brave the Dark –– Turn out the lights.
Into the Deep –– Water logged.
Inheritance –– Nil will.
Myth of Man –– Myth appropriation.
The Colors Within –– Hue must be kidding.
Liza: A Truly Terrific Absolutely True Story –– Vanilla-y Minnelli.
Pay Dirt: The Story of Supercross –– Spins its wheels.

Wolf Man –– Arse seen lupine.
One of Them Days –– In no! time.
Wish You Were Here –– Suffering with me.
Alarum –– Fire Alarum.
Both Eyes Open –– Staring at nothing.
Grand Theft Hamlet –– Creeps in their petty pace.
And the Breadwinner Is… –– Brings home the beggin'.
I’m Still Here — I can smell.
Night Call –– One ringy dingy.
Dig! XX –– Dig!: the dirt.

Den of Thieves 2: Pantera –– Past dense.
The Last Showgirl –– Vaguest strip.
The Damned –– or the Audience.
Hard Truths –– Honest to a fault.
Birdeater –– Beaks and troughs.
Putin –– Vlad all over.
Black Diamond –– Shit and polish.
Laws of Man –– Legal
Disfluency –– Tongue depressor.
The Prosecutor –– Guilty as discharged.
Every Little Thing –– Ho humming.
Diane Warren: Relentless –– I relent!