CINEMA 2020

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Spoof of the Pixar animated film Soul where the main caharcter Joe and the cat Mr. Mittens are selling a Kia Soul automobile.Soul –– Anima house.
Shadow in the Cloud –– Over cast.
Pieces of a Woman –– The noddy bits.
Herself –– Espousal abuse.
The Last Shift –– Into Neutral.
Escape Room 2 –– Get out of dodgy.

Spoof of the film Wonder Woman 1984 with the title charater wrapping her Lasso of Truth around critic E. Basil St. Blaise who says, ”The truth? It’s…a Blunder, Woman!”Wonder Woman 1984 –– Diana rigged.
News of the World –– Wagon drain.
The Midnight Sky –– Gelid shots.
Promising Young Woman –– Rapier whit.
One Night in Miami –– Miami heave.
Pinocchio –– Nose to tail.
The Dissident –– Khashoggi bare.
Evergreen –– Fir naught.
Spoof of the film Monster Hunter with star Milla Jovovich tracking through a huge monster’s footprint carrying a blunderbuss while a massive reptilian foot hovers overhead to crush her.Monster Hunter –– Stalk is cheap.
Breach –– Bum.
Hunter Hunter –– Scat sinking.
Fatale –– Futile.
Skylines –– Crap Space.
Derek’s Dead –– Blow Derek.
Sister of the Groom –– In-law breaker.
The Reason –– Poor excuse.
Buttons: A Christmas Tale –– Buttons hole.
Tazzeka –– Demi Tazz.
The Rescue –– Save cracker.
Audrey –– Hep burn.
Hello World –– Hi Jack.
Spoof of the film The Prom with Meryl Streep as Dee Dee Allen drinking champagne and holding hands with James Corden as Barry Glickman who is tugging at a rope which is releasing pig’s blood that will cover Streep as in the movie Carrie.The Prom –– Out dated.
Wild Mountain Thyme –– Neither sage nor savory.
Let Them All Talk –– Jabber wonky.
The Stand In –– Sub standard.
Parallel –– Bar.
Breaking Surface –– Dive bomb.
Archenemy –– Own worst.
Wander Darkly –– Trip badly.
Farewell Amor –– Fare poorly.
The Never List –– This is at top.
The Black Book of Father Dinis –– Priestly garble.
The Weasel’s Tale –– Weasel zapper.
Ip Man: King Fu Master –– Ip to be square.
Don’t Click –– Doesn’t click.
Assassins –– Kim: a kill reaction.
Queer Japan –– Hai guy.
Gunda –– Pig penance.
Spoof of the film The Godfather Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone with Al Pacino in the title role reading a copy of Uta Hagen’s Respect for Acting holding his finger to his head like he’s shooting himself as rolls his eyes behind Sofia Coppola emoting as his daughter.The Godfather Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone –– Third time’s the bomb.
All My Life –– Is chopped liver.
Wander –– No Wander.
Black Bear –– Plaza sour.
Elyse –– Feh Elyse.
Love, Weddings & Other Disasters –– Calamity chain.
I’m Your Woman –– Ice princess.
Stand! –– One nit Stand!
Ham –– Fisted.
Evergreen –– Needling.
Trail of Ashes –– Soot yourself.
Backwoods –– Hayseed pudding.
Another Round –– I’m not buying.
Half Brothers –– Part company.
Mayor –– Ramallah-dramallah ding-dong.
Dear Santa –– Return to Santa.
Billie –– High days and Holiday.
Crock of Gold: A Few Rounds with Shane MacGowan –– Pogue boy.
Spoof of the film The Croods: A New Age with the character Grug on all fours smiling as Guy rubs two sticks together to create a spark that ignites the caveman’s farts as daughter Eep looks on and laughs.The Croods: A New Age –– Root of all evolve.
Stardust –– Sicky Stardust.
Last Call –– Thomas’ English muffin’.
Last Call –– Suicide blot line.
Princess of the Row –– S’kid Row.
Dutch –– Bottom.
Zappa –– Frank and beats.
Spoof of the film Vanguard with Jackie Chan in a suit in front of a green screen doing wire work to kick a can.Vanguard –– Chan's encounter.
Sound of Metal –– On blackboard.
Girl –– Stupor Girl.
Jiu Jitsu –– Flipper flop.
Embattled –– Brow beaters.
Always and Forever –– Endlessly silly.
Buddy Games –– Man's playing.
The Twentieth Century –– Twentieth Century fogs.
The Last Vermeer –– Pained by numbers.
Hearts and Bones –– Sudan's recital.
Happiest Season –– Queer, having a party.
Born to Be –– Hidden a gender.
Collective –– Sigh.
Spoof of the film Hillbilly Elegy in the style of L’il Abner with Glenn Close’s Mamaw looking like Mammy Yokum along with Pappy Yokum scolding Amy Adams as L’il Bev.Hillbilly Elegy –– Wide trash.
Mank –– Wank.
Ammonite –– Fossil crotch.
Come Away –– Pan perdu.
The Comeback Trail –– Return descender.
Dreamland –– Dip Depression.
Chick Fight –– Punchin’ Judy.
Fatman –– Joke and the Fatman.
Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey –– Sled on a merry dance.
Last Three Days –– Feel like four.
Echo Boomers –– Sounds familiar.
Freaky –– Die day.
Return to Splatter Farm –– Slaps the pigs.
Make Up –– Smeared.
It Cuts Deep –– Deadly dull.
Monsoon –– Drench pressed.
Wolfwalkers –– Jive stalk.
Coded Bias –– Tech tack.
Spoof of the film Let Him Go with Kevin Costner playing a game of Eeny, meeny, miny by pulling the big toe of his grandson who yells ‘Holler!’ as his grandma Diane Lane instructs, “Let him go!”Let Him Go –– Let one go.
Jungleland –– Brawl boy.
The Dark and the Wicked –– or The Dicked.
Kindred –– Spurt.
Triggered –– Wires crossed.
Escape: Puzzle of Fear –– Pieces missing.
True to the Game 2 –– Deal pickle.
Mortal –– Norse on a bone.
Koko-di Koko-da –– Koko-duh.
That Good Night –– Goes softly.
Ryuchi Sakamoto: Coda –– Sticky notes.
Chuck Leavell: The Tree Man –– Saws wood.
Spoof of the film The Witches with Anne Hathaway’s Grand High Witch showing Octavia Spencer’s Grandma her familiar, the cartoon cat, Heathcliff.The Witches –– Rag Dahl.
Come Play –– Game over.
Spell –– Shits a spell.
Blood From Stone –– Squeasy.
The Shade Shepherd –– Pan umbra.
Narco Soldiers –– Crack troops.
The More You Ignore Me –– How about completely?
Malina –– Gallic knots.
Fire Will Come –– Burnt out.
Madre –– Yoyo Ma.
Alone With Her Dreams –– Snooze butt-in.
Wolfman’s Got Nards –– Nards off.
The Donut King –– Holes: its own.
Bellingcat: Truth in a Post-Truth World –– Blog blah blah.
Us Kids –– Kids us.
Spoof of the film Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm entitled Bore Rat with the title character as a rat offering cheese to Rudy Giuliani as another rat as he says, “Is very nice cheeses, Mr. Rudys. You bite? Not! Wawaweewa!Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm –– Borat worst.
Rebecca –– Manderley bey.
Synchronic –– Stink chronic.
The Empty Man –– I had my fill.
Friendsgiving –– Gift bastards.
Ham on Rye –– Ham fisted.
The Place of No Words –– Unspeakable.
After We Collided –– Wrecked ‘em.
Beasts Clawing at Straws –– Sippy cluck.
Coming Home Again –– Return estrangement.
Over the Moon –– Lunar nodule.
Astro Kid –– Blasts soft.
How to Fix a Primary –– Ballot stuffing.
A spoof of the film The Trial of the Chicago 7 has actors Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Eddie Redmayne looking on incredulously as fellow castmate Sacha Baron Cohen portrays Abbie Hoffman as though he were Borat.The Trial of the Chicago Seven –– Yippie K.O.
Honest Thief –– Blew steal.
2 Hearts –– Atrial fib elation.
Shithouse –– Frat bastard.
The Opening Act –– Heckle and chide.
Crossword Mysteries: Proposing Murder –– What’s one down.
The Kid Detective –– Kid you not.
The Devil Has a Name –– Oily riser.
A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting –– Sit vicious.
The Last Exorcist –– Cast and crude.
Love and Monsters –– First crushed.
Alone –– Should be.
Don’t Look Back –– At screen.
Martin Eden –– Eden disorder.
Twiceborn –– Thrice borin’.
Harry Chapin: When in Doubt, Do Something –– Crap’s in the cradle.
This Is Not a Movie –– Agreed.
She Is the Ocean –– Shore she is.
In Case of Emergency –– Break class.
The Accidental President –– Fluke, nuke ‘im.
J.R. “Bob” Dobbs & the Church of the Subgenius –– “Bob” fellers.
Spoof of the film The War With Grandpa with Robert De Niro mugging saying ‘Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk!’ as Oakes Fegley playing his grandson Peter holds a poster of De Niro in his Academy Award-winning role in Raging Bull.The War With Grandpa –– Grand pap.
A Rainy Day in New York –– Mist cue.
Yellow Rose –– Of tax us.
Faith Based –– If you can believe it.
The Planters –– Worth peanuts.
I Am Lisa –– Lisa lobo.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow — Chews the scenery.
Cagefighter –– The cage wins.
Pray –– P-eww.
From the Vine –– Vino vanna see.
Henchmen –– Suck-end bananas.
Time –– Dearth sentence.
Aggie –– Naggie.
The Walrus and the Whistle Blower — From tusk to dawn.
The Plot Against the President –– Gobble cabal.
A spoof of the film On the Rocks with Bill Murray as the father placing ice cubes on Rashida Jones as his daughter in a large tumbler.On the Rocks –– Not neat.
Then Came You –– Dude on arrival.
Spontaneous –– Spurt of the moment.
Possessor –– 9/10ths of the LOL.
The Curse of Audrey Earnshaw –– Earns snore.
Death of Me –– Gives a RIP.
Halloween Party –– Boo cheese dressing.
Tar –– Blabby.
A Call to Spy –– Who hung up.
The Antenna –– Signal-minded.
Save Yourselves! –– The time.
2067 –– Future's treading.
Once Upon a River –– Don’t bank on it.
The Projectionist –– Reel back.
Herb Alpert Is… –– Better than this.
Billy the Kid –– Billy goad.
Console Wars –– Sega bye.
Spoof of the film Ava with Jessica Chastain’s title character assassin holding a pistol and sporting a peek-a-boo hairstyle with her long red hair extending off the screen where a female patron in the front row covers her eyes with it.Ava –– Hits: a new low.
Kajillionaire –– Dirt poor.
Broken Mirrors –– Cracked.
Misbehavior –– Acts oops.
Shortcut –– Cut short.
LX 2048 –– LX très blecch.
Lost Girls & Love Hotels –– Room bah.
The Last Shift –– Into neutral.
Ottolenghi and the Cakes of Versailles –– Torte lore.
Hissan Habré, A Chadian Tragedy –– Chad falls.
The Animals Farm –– Hoe hoe hoe.
A spoof of Antebellum entitled Pennyantebellum picturing the lead, Janelle Monáe, with a bloody butterfly over her mouth as she thinks, ‘I could have had a V8.’Antebellum –– Monáe pit.
The Nest –– Lays an egg.
The Devil All the Time –– Ass backwoods.
The Secrets We Keep –– Deep dork.
Alone –– Solo off the mark.
Evil Takes Root: The Curse of the Batibat –– Bad. It bad.
The Racer –– Spins its wheels.
The Way I See It –– Souza cue.
DTF –– Ditch This Film.
A spoof of the film I Am Woman with lead actress Tilda Cobham-Hervey playing Helen Reddy as a can of Reddy Wimp in front of a microphone.I Am Woman –– Hear me snore.
The Broken Hearts Gallery –– Jerk of Hearts.
2 Hearts –– In the shame vein.
The Garden Left Behind –– Behind still sore.
Rent-a-Pal –– Roast bud.
Get Duked –– Duked tape.
Spy Cat –– In feline of fire.
Spoof of the film Tenet with Neil (Robert Pattinson) and The Protagonist (John David Washington) trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube puzzle with the film’s title on it.Tenet –– Tepet.
Mulan –– No dragon its feat.
The Owners –– No good deed.
My Brothers’ Crossing –– PUD Crossing.
Still Here –– Unfortunately.
The Argument –– Tiff file.
Critical Thinking –– Like: I think it’s brainless.
Sicily! (Siclilia! (1999)) –– Sicily! (So sillier! (2020)).
Spoof of the film Bill & Ted Face the Music with the leads, Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter, trying to listen in on a turned-off smart phone which replaces the iconinc telephone booth from the earlier movies in the series.Bill & Ted Face the Music –– Ted tanks.
The New Mutants –– X offenders.
The Personal History of David Copperfield –– Slim Dickens.
The Courier –– And hives.
DieRy –– DieRy uh.
Centigrade –– Freeze willy.
The Real Exorcist –– Deadly do right.
Fatima –– Miracle jerker.
A spoof of the film Unhinged with star Russell Crowe’s head as a car’s stick shift that is being jerked into overdrive.Unhinged –– Load rage.
Words on Bathroom Walls –– Scrawl space.
Tesla –– Current events.
The 24th –– Rioting competition.
Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula –– Cruisin’ for a Busan.
The Vanished –– I wish.
The Pale Door –– Unhinged.
Cut Throat City –– Pain in the neck.
Open 24 Hours –– To close for comfort.
Parody based on the documentary film Jimmy Carter: Rock & Roll President showing Willie Nelson offering an enormous joint decorated with Stars and Stripes to Presidential candidate Jimmy Carter who is sweeping the smoke towards himself.Jimmy Carter: Rock & Roll President –– Jimmy cracker corn.
Pearl –– Fissure.
The Silencing –– Shhoddy.
Carmen & Lola –– Chica to cheek.
Sputnik –– Sputers.
Spree –– Bum: a ride.
Endless –– Seemingly.
Apocalypse ’45 –– Bomber: junk it.
Jazz On a Summer’s Day –– Riff ruff.
Accidental Climber –– Scales the depths.
A spoof of the movie Le Week-End with stars Lindsay Duncan and Jim Broadbent at a Parisian cafe holding two semi-fresh packaged croissants together to form a heart after dunking them in a cup of Nescafé Decaf. Gromit, the animated dog, looks on.Le Week-End (2014) –– Barren Samedi.
The Tax Collector –– Point of no return.
The Secret Garden –– Plodders' field.
Made in Italy –– Papa spray.
Sweet Bean –– Pasty.
House of Hummingbird –– Chick flit.
Promare –– Cels short.
Out Stealing Horses –– My mane man.
She Dies Tomorrow –– Of boredom.
Max Reload and the Nether Blasters –– Feels like your nethers' been blasted.
Paydirt –– Pain. Dirt.
A Thousand Cuts –– Needs thousand more.
Trump Card –– ‘John fill-up’ D’Souza.
Spoof of the film Summerland with star Gemma Arterton by the British seaside holding an ice cream cone which holds a melting reel of film.Summerland –– Humid interest story.
The Informer –– I’ve got snooze for you.
The Shadow of Violence –– Shadow of a dolt.
The Fight –– Court’s disaster.
Save Yourselves! –– Escape goats.
Boys State –– The obvious.
Fisherman’s Friends –– Bait and snitch.
In a spoof of the film The Rental, Dan Stevens holds a VHS copy of the film which is giving off evil vapors as Alison Brie looks on in terror.The Rental –– The very leased.
Amulet –– Gewgore.
Target Number One –– : The Peeing.
Yes God Yes –– No. God, no!
Skin Walker –– Flesh dense.
Rogue –– Wan.
Tijuana Jackson: Purpose Over Prison –– Tijuana know a secret?
Animal Crackers –– Cheapo marks.
Baby Splitters –– Solomon grungy.
Retaliation –– Strikes oppose.
Spoof of the film Human Capital with Maya Hawke holding a three-dollar bill with a picture of her father played by Liev Schreiber on it.Human Capital –– Capital offense.
Saint Maud –– Maud: Frick it.
The Painted Bird –– Brute camp.
The Sunlit Night –– Star blight.
MILF –– Mess I’d Like to Forget.
Game of Death –– Ante maim.
Cut Throat City –– Slit trench.
Spoof of the film Greyhound with Tom Hanks as Captain Krause holding lowered binoculars in front of his face with an image of a sinking boat named USS Hanks reflected in them Greyhound –– Bust.
First Cow –– Moove on.
Relic –– Antique rote show.
Palm Springs –– Itchy Palm.
Volition –– On your own.
Money Plane –– Flight of the bumbeling.
Archive –– File away.
Viena and the Fantomes –– Viena sausage.
Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets –– Broke.
Bungalow –– Bungle high.
We Are Little Zombies –– Wee bit.
Zombie for Sale –– For chomp change.
Four Kids and It –– Screw It.
Spoof of the film The Outpost with armed soldier Scott Eastwood protecting an outhouse in AfghanistanThe Outpost –– Insurge in general.
Game of Death –– Vie bother.
Suzi Q –– Q ball.
John Lewis: Good Trouble –– Lewis: his cool.
–– And some July 4th Films ––
Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942) –– Leaden Cohan.
The Music Man (1962) –– Hill and dull.
1776 (1972) –– Framer vs. Framer.
American Graffiti (1973) –– Cruising attitude.
Born on the Fourth of July (1989) –– Vet himself.
Independence Day (1996) –– The froth of July.
Spoof of the film Irresistable with lead characters Steve Carell and Rose Byrne on placards with messages Vote the Office Party and Elect a BridesmaidIrresistible –– Ballot bogs.
My Spy –– Blundercover.
Inheritance –– Will call.
Wasp Network –– Stings up the joint.
House of Hummingbird ––Tiny flap.
The Last Tree –– Awk-wood!
The Dead and the Others –– Their expiration dates?
Beats –– Off.
Jungle Beat: The Movie –– Brush aside.
Aquasplash –– Pish splash.

A spoof of the film Da 5 Bloods with actor Delroy Lindo saluting Director Spike Lee dressed up as a colorful GeneralDa 5 Bloods –– Spike’s pique.
Vampire Dad –– Sucks at parenting.
Caniba –– Conniption.
Miss Juneteenth –– Lady day.
Queen of Lapa –– Lapa luxury.
Stardog and TurboCat –– Pet jacks.
What She Said: The Art of Pauline Kael –– Kael salad.
Happening: A Clean Energy Revolution –– Green dumb.
Yes They Are Controlling Our Minds –– Especially your tiny one.

Recent VOD releases The King of Staten Island –– Pete worst. Artemis Fowl –– Fowl out. Mighty Oak –– Acorny. Exit Plan –– You’ll need one. Infamous –– The notorious P.I.G. Hammer –– And sick. Tommaso –– Paste. The Collini Case –– Colonic. Yourself and Yours –– You bloat. Feral –– Won’t Feral. The Price of Desire –– Found wanting. The Accompanist –– Flat noodles.The King of Staten Island –– Pete worst.
Artemis Fowl –– Fowl out.
Mighty Oak –– Acorny.
Exit Plan –– You’ll need one.
Infamous –– The notorious P.I.G.
Hammer –– And sick.
Tommaso –– Paste.
The Collini Case –– Colonic.
Yourself and Yours –– You bloat.
Feral –– Won’t Feral.
The Price of Desire –– Found wanting.
The Accompanist –– Flat noodles.

TOP

2020 Oscar nominees Joker, The Parasite, Toy Story 4, The Irishman, 1917, Jojo Rabbit, Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood, and Marriage StoryOscar Dü 2020

Best Picture Nominees:

Ford v Ferrari –– Total drag race.
The Irishman –– Hoffa in the bag.
Jojo Rabbit –– Hitler youth.
Joker –– From the bottom of the dreck.
Little Women –– Average Jo.
Marriage Story –– Split faced.
1917 –– Combat boost.
Once Upon a Time in … Hollywood –– Manson with the stars.
Parasite –– Corporal clinger.

The High Note –– Over C’s transaction.
Shirley –– Jackson hole.
Premature –– Early and awful.
Judy & Punch –– Sluggish.
The Vast of Night –– Vast of time.
Olympic Dreams –– Medal breakdown.
Dreamland –– Wink, wink, not, not.
Becky –– Dull.
Crystal Swan –– Long neck battle.
Abe –– Stinkin’.
Strike –– Out.
The Ghost of Peter Sellers –– Short Sellers.
Until the Bird Returns –– Roost turkey.
Made in Bangladesh –– Dhakamentary.
Jump Shot: The Kenny Sailors Story –– Stuff it.
Poison capsule reviews of Robert Altman's filmography Part III

Vincent & Theo (1990) –– Blows his daubs off.
The Player (1992) –– Studio shitty.
Short Cuts (1993) –– Wooden Carver.
Ready to Wear (1994) –– Prat-a-porter.
Kansas City (1996) –– KC afflict.
The Gingerbread Man (1998) –– Empty suit.
Cookie’s Fortune (1999) –– Con heir.
Dr. T and the Women (2000) –– At the other end of the speculum.
Gosford Park (2001) –– Forget one’s Manor.
The Company (2003) –– Pointe gross.
A Prairie Home Companion (2006) –– Like, woebegone.
Rob Brydon & Steve Coogan as Comedy & Peevery masks in The Trip to GreeceRecent VOD releases

The Trip to Greece –– Hellene wheels.
Inheritance –– Will Not!
Capone –– Al crap.
Scoob! –– Pooper Scoob!
The Traitor –– Betrayed with-a kitsch.
Valley Girl –– How deep was her valley?
Dreamkatcher –– Katcher's mutt.
Perfect –– Mess.
Trust Machine: The Story of Blockchain –– Pit coin.
To The Stars –– Fire your agents.
True Story of the Kelly Gang –– Kelly ripper.
Robin Williams as Popeye reaching out for a cartoon Olive Oyl who is running away from him yelling, "Bluto, Help!"Poison capsule reviews of Robert Altman's filmography Part II

A Wedding (1978) –– Poor reception.
Quintet (1979) –– Frozen waste.
A Perfect Couple (1979) –– Two for the rote.
HealtH (1980) –– House of ill recruit.
Popeye (1980) –– Olive oily.
Come Back to the 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean (1982) –– Dean lists.
Streamers (1983) –– Turkey ‘chute.
Secret Honor (1984) –– Spotted Dick.
Fool for Love (1985) –– Sham Shepard.
O.C. and Stiggs (1985) –– Stiggs in the mud.
Beyond Therapy (1987) –– Couch class.

Poison capsule reviews of Robert Altman's filmography Part I

Countdown (1967) –– Launch padded.
That Cold Day in the Park (1969) –– Nip and schmuck.
M*A*S*H (1970) –– Medic hate.
Brewster McCloud (1970) –– Icarus dickerus dork.
McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971) –– Gamble soup.
Images (1972) –– Sight unsound.
The Long Goodbye (1973) –– Much adieu about nothing.
Thieves Like Us (1974) –– Copse and robbers.
California Split (1974) –– Double and nothing.
Nashville (1975) –– Soap Opry.
Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull's History Lesson (1976) –– Cody red.
3 Women (1977) –– Trip blitz.

Poison capsule reviews of Orson Welles' surprisingly slim resumé

Citizen Kane (1941) –– Re: Hearst.
The Magnificent Ambersons (1942) –– Indiana jokes.
Journey into Fear (c0-director) (1943) –– Ship out.
The Stranger (1946) –– Burden of Prof.
The Lady from Shanghai (1947) –– Shanghai: off the hog.
Macbeth (1948) –– Lady killer.
Othello (1951) –– UnMoored.
Mr. Arkadin (1955) –– Penny Arkadin.
Touch of Evil (1958) –– Mex no sense.
The Trial (1962) –– Franz caca.
Chimes at Midnight (1965) –– Fallstaff infection.
The Immortal Story (1968) –– Dies out.
F for Fake (1973) –– Counterfeits and starts.
Other Side of the Wind (2018) –– Welles runs dry.

Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino terrorizes a moviegoer watching Reservoir Dogs with a razor like in the well-known 'Stuck in the Middle With You' torture scenePoison capsule reviews of Quentin Tarantino's cinematic oeuvre

Reservoir Dogs (1992) –– My Dogs are killing me.
Pulp Fiction (1994) –– Pulpy love.
Jackie Brown (1997) –– Jackie: a joke, man.
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) –– Gallows Uma.
Kill Bill: Vol 2 (2004) –– Chop sloppy.
Grindhouse (2007) –– Twin bull.
Death Proof (2007) –– Get out of Dodge!
Inglorious Basterds (2009) –– Nutzi hunters.
Django Unchained (2012) –– Unchained malady.
The Hateful Eight (2015) –– Octogoners.
Once Upon a Time …in Hollywood (2019) –– Manson with the stars.

Poison capsule reviews of Disney animated films, Part III

Lilo and Stitch (2002) –– Scratch this Stitch.
Treasure Planet (2002) –– Booty crawl.
Brother Bear (2003) –– Clawless.
Home on the Range (2004) –– Cow flop.
Chicken Little (2005) –– Cheap cheap.
Meet the Robinsons (2007) –– Waste of time travel.
Bolt (2008) –– From the theatre.
The Princess and the Frog (2009) –– Unhip hop.
Tangled (2010) –– Locks and load.
Winnie the Pooh (2011) –– Hunny doo.
Wreck-it Ralph (2012) –– Wrecked-‘em.
Frozen ( 2013) –– Stiff.
Big Hero 6 (2014) –– 6 flags.
Zootopia (2016) –– Animal crappers.
Moana (2016) –– Lower.
Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018) –– Ralph nadir.
Frozen II (2019) –– The bone.

Poison capsule reviews of Disney animated films, Part II

The Fox and the Hound (1981) –– Barkin’ hunters.
The Black Cauldron (1985) –– Stir crazy.
The Great Mouse Detective (1986) –– Squeak as a kitten.
Oliver & Company (1988) –– Twist an angle.
The Little Mermaid (1989) –– Under the C-.
The Rescuers Down Under (1990) –– Skip and save.
Beauty and the Beast (1991) –– Beast still my heart.
Aladdin (1992) –– Genie with the light brown heir.
The Lion King (1994) –– Simba-minded.
Pocahontas (1995) –– New World odor.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) –– Rung out.
Hercules (1997) –– Brawn yesterday.
Mulan (1998) –– Mushu dork.
Tarzan (1999) –– Fruit of the vines.
Fantasia 2000 (2000) –– Symphony in gee, flat.
The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) –– Pen and Inca.
Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001) –– Stinks without a trace.

Poison capsule reviews of 'classic' Disney animated films, Part I

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) –– Deviated septet.
Pinocchio (1940) –– Wood pile.
Fantasia (1940) –– Classic rot.
Dumbo (1941) –– Trunk show.
Bambi (1942) –– Babble Thumper.
Song of the South (1946) –– Remus and butthead.
Cinderella (1950) –– Glass skipper.
Alice in Wonderland (1951) –– Loose Carroll.
Lady and the Tramp (1955) –– You mutts be kidding.
Sleeping Beauty (1959) –– Down and out.
One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961) –– Pic of the litter.
The Sword in the Stone (1963) –– Low Excalibur.
The Jungle Book (1967) –– Law of the jumble.
The Aristocats (1970) –– Feline alright.
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) –– Winnie take gall.
The Rescuers (1977) –– Too late.

Martin Scorsese looking in a mirror saying "You talkin' to me?"Poison capsule reviews of Scorsese films pre-2005

Who’s That Knocking at My Door (1967) –– Knock-knock joke.
Boxcar Bertha (1972) –– Depression error.
Mean Streets (1973) –– Mook synthesizer.
Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974) –– Burstyn at the seams.
Taxi Driver (1976) –– Hack work.
New York, New York (1977) –– It’s a helluva down.
The Last Waltz (1978) –– Beats The Band.
Raging Bull (1980) –– Jake tapper.
The King of Comedy (1982) –– Pupkin patch.
After Hours (1985) –– So-Soho.
The Color of Money (1986) –– Sharks tank.
The Last Temptation of the Christ (1988) –– Cross examination.
Goodfellas (1990) –– Flashy mob.
Cape Fear (1991) –– Sicko feints.
The Age of Innocence (1993) –– Wharton hears a hoot.
Casino (1995) –– Hole slot bettor.
Kundun (1997) –– Buddha pest.
Bringing Out the Dead (1999) –– Losing patients.
Gangs of New York (2002) –– City scrapes.
The Aviator (2004) –– Hughesless.

Hooking Up –– Shave the date.
The Climb –– Cycle jerks.
Human Capital –– Figures of fund.
The Infiltrators –– Get out while the get in is good.
Blue Story –– Blown story.
Deerskin –– Hide away.
The Truth –– Honest mistake.
A Dog Called Money –– Currency.
Vin Diesel in Bloodshot drinking Nanite Train Express wine and firing his pistolBloodshot –– Like a poke in the eye.
The Hunt –– Preys be.
Never Rarely Sometimes Always –– Stop child.
Big Time Adolescence –– First, flush of youth.
I Still Believe –– Not I.
Lost Transmissions –– Transmissions fluid.
My Senior Year –– Grad pits.
Tuscaloosa –– Alabama shucks.
Inside the Rain –– Wet wack.
The Postcard Killings –– Dumb as a post.
Lost Girls –– Cheese strays.
M.O.M. (Mothers of Monsters) –– Brood force.
The Roads Not Taken –– Route cellar.
Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears –– Fisher price.
Heart of Africa –– Congo least.
Tokyo Godfathers –– Nippon tuck.
Human Nature –– CRISPR critters.
Fat Fiction –– Ipso fatso.
The Dog Doc –– Paw relations.
Heimat Is a Space in Time –– Vatta land!
Onward –– And ugghward.
The Way Back –– Slam drunk.
The Banker –– Overdrawn.
Extra Ordinary –– Loner cars.
Only –– Eff Only.
Run This Town –– Ford fair lame.
Beneath Us –– Beneath me.
Sorry We Missed You –– We’re not.
Hope Gap –– Toodle eww.
The Burnt Orange Heresy –– Muddy ochre.
Sometimes Always Never –– The latter.
First Cow –– Bovine intervention.
Bacarau –– Back ‘er off.
The Wild Goose Lake –– Lam to slaughter.
Foxtrot Six –– Squad thrusts.
The Booksellers –– Bums and noble.
The Invisible Man –– Unseen gestures.
Burden –– Heavy lifting.
The Jesus Rolls –– Gutter ball.
Saint Frances –– Nanny petty.
Greed –– Is bad.
Straight Up –– No erection home.
Wendy –– Windy.
Guns Akimbo –– Popping fresh D’oh! boy.
Blood on Her Name –– Pap smear.
Disappearance at Clifton Hill ––Fade shot.
The Whistlers –– Blown opportunity.
My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising –– Dilated pupils.
Lost in America –– Finders’ fie!
Art Paul of Playboy: The Man Behind the Bunny –– Start spreading the nudes.
Tread –– Plough through it.
Anya Taylor Joy as Emma swipes right on Mr. Knightley on TinderEmma –– Match notes.
The Call of the Wild –– London has fallen.
The Last Thing He Wanted –– Who, Affleck?
Standing Up, Falling Down –– Splat on its back.
Seberg –– Jean mutation.
Balloon –– Doesn’t pop.
Premature –– Under rage dating.
Goldie –– Whorin’.
Impractical Jokers: The Movie –– Gag reel.
10 Things We Should Do Before We Break Up –– See this not on list.
The Night Clerk –– Helpless desk.
Brahms: The Boy II –– Guise and dolls
Young Ahmed –– Dardenne variety.
Cabaret Maxime –– Maxime…um…capacity.
Vitalina Varela –– Gape verde.
Manou the Swift –– Manou…er.
Once Were Brothers: Robbie Robertson and The Band –– Bored Band.
Viral: Antisemitism in Four Mutations –– Hits the hate.
Dr. Ivo Robotnik (Jim Carrey ) supervises the makeover of Sonic the Hedgehog by pulling out his upper teethSonic the Hedgehog –– Sonic bomb.
Downhill –– All the way.
Fantasy Island –– Roarke sewage.
The Misogynists –– Hate like a pig.
Buffaloed ––Buffalo chip.
VFW –– Vet rags.
After Midnight –– Midnight slack.
Impossible Monsters –– Beast of no notion.
Ordinary Love –– Common low wife.
The Photograph –– Snap out of it.
Olympic Dreams –– Uses skier tactics.
The Kindness of Strangers –– Amour’s the pity.
Underneath the Same Moon –– Coma pile.
What About Love –– Canoodle soup.
A Simple Wedding –– Joining farces.
Come As You Are –– We like idiots.
The Rest of Us –– The dull ones.
First Lady –– Political male storm.
Portrait of a Lady on Fire –– Flame fatale.
I Was at Home, But –– Nothing But.
Those Who Remained –– Stragglepuss.
You Go to My Head –– Plenty of space up there.
The Cordillera of Dreams –– Chile con.
The Times of Bill Cunningham –– Itchy Cunningham.
Margot Bobbie getting hit in head in game of Whac a Pothole in Birds of PreyBirds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn ) –– No Quinn sitution.
The Lodge –– Snored under.
Come to Daddy –– Pounding father.
Horse Girl –– Nagging doubts.
2/1 –– 1/2 baked.
Dream Round –– Putterfingers.
Cane River –– Cane ain’t able.
Waiting For Anya –– Anya gonna keep waiting.
And Then We Danced –– Hey there, Georgia boy.
Blake Lively as a one-woman band with a gun in The Rhythm SectionThe Rhythm Section –– Beat down.
Gretel & Hansel –– Flesh from the oven.
The Assistant –– Bland aide.
Coda –– Leak to conclusion.
Beanpole –– Slim and numb.
José –– No way.
The Traitor –– Trust buster.
Incitement –– Not excitement.
The Wonderland –– Alas in Wonderland.
Taylor Swift: Miss Americana –– Swift kicks.
Created Equal: Clarence Thomas in His Own Words –– Gavel pit.
Hugh Grant, Matthew McConaughey and Charlie Hunnam as butlers serving maynem in The GentlemenThe Gentlemen –– Lads and least.
The Turning –– Of the stomach.
Color Out of Space –– Tints and ass.
The Last Full Measure –– Dogged soldiers.
Elsewhere –– Stain Elsewhere.
John Henry –– Sludge hammer.
Get Gone –– So long sucker.
Assassin 33 A.D. –– Christ! Killer.
Cats –– And jam 'er.
Zombi Child –– Dead baby joke.
The Rescue –– Dog Rescue.
Quezon’s Game –– Quezon's go rolling all wrong.
I Wish I Knew –– How boring this was.
Martin Lawrence and Will Smith in children's police clothes in Bad Boys for LifeBad Boys for Life –– Worse than ever.
Dolittle –– Doo little.
Weathering With You –– Weathering or not.
The Host –– With the least.
The Wave –– Bye-bye.
Blood Widow –– Screen bloody murder.
Feedback –– Distorted.
Disturbing the Peace –– That's the ticket.
Intrigo: Death of an Author –– That's all he wrote.
My Hindu Friend –– Morte bored.

Tiffany Haddish and Rose Byrne put lipstick on a pig in Like a BossLike a Boss –– Ex-echh.
Underwater –– Sub-merciful.
The Grudge –– Grudge dread.
Three Christs –– And a ‘Damn!’
Corrupted –– Just plain rotten.
Inherit the Viper –– A big asp.
The Dawn –– Scumrise.
The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson –– Dead Bundy.
VHYes –– Betamucks.
Reality Queen! ––Parasite Hilton.
Les Misérables –– That would be the audience.
The Woman Who Loves Giraffes –– Pain in the neck.
Diving Deep: The Life and Times of Mike Degruy –– Flounders.
At the Video Store –– Be kind, unwind.

 

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E. Basil St. Blaise