LITERATURE 4

FICTION

Oh! You Pretty Things by Shanna Mahin –– Pretty awful.
The Love Object by Edna O’Brien –– I object.
Look Who’s Back by Timur Vermes–– Heil be back.
God Help the Child by Toni Morrison –– Who picks this up.
The Children’s Crusade by Ann Packer –– Sib code.
Blood on Snow by Jo Nesbo –– Chilly con carnage.
The Harder They Come by T. Coraghessan Boyle –– The bigger the mess.
Crow Fair by Thomas McGuane –– Hard caw.
The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins –– Track addict.
NYPD Red 3 by James Patterson –– Badge company.

A Spool of Blue Thread by Anne Tyler –– Unravels.
A Dangerous Place by Jacqueline Winspear –– Crock of Gibraltar.
The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro –– Big box story.
The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah –– War bull, war bull.
Last One Home by Debbie Macomber –– Late boomer.
The Fifth Gospel by Ian Caldwell –– Bible belted.
World Gone By by Dennis Lehane –– Past tense.
Endangered by C.J. Box –– Box stop!
The Whites by Harry Brandt –– Bleachy keen.
Hausfrau by Jill Alexander Essbaum –– Grade sie.
Prudence by Gail Carrier –– Compels me to not recommend this.
Funny Girl / Nick Hornby –– Briceless.
Moriarty by Anthony Horowitz –– Holmes invasion.
The Boston Girl by Anita Diamond –– Jewess prudence.
Hope to Die by James Patterson –– Before I read this.
The Escape by David Balducci –– Flee flicker.
The Mistletoe Promise by Richard Paul Evans –– Kiss off.
The Cinderella Murder by Mary Higgins Clark –– Slipper shock.
Tom Clancy Full Force and Effect by Mark Greaney –– The effect is drowsiness.
Preparation for the Next Life by Atticus Lish –– D Lish.
Flesh and Blood by Patricia Cornwell –– Sinew to me.
The Burning Room by Michael Connelly –– Fire house.
Blue Labyrinth by Douglas Preston –– Come what maze.
Pegasus by Danielle Steel –– Wing nuts.
The Handsome Man’s De Luxe Café by Alexander McCall Smith –– Café wha?
Prodigal Son by Danielle Steel –– Wasteful.
Mr. Miracle by Debbie Macomber –– Xmess.
Some Luck by Jane Smiley –– Smiley phase.
Lila by Marilynne Robinson –– Putian.
Deadline by John Sandford –– Missed.
Let Me Be Frank With You by Richard Ford –– OK, Frank.
The Book of Strange New Things by Michael Faber –– Familiar old stuff.
The World of Ice & Fire: The Untold History of Westeros and the Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire) by George R.R. Martin –– Thrones for a loop.
Prince Lestat by Anne Rice –– Lestat from the bottom.
A Brief History of Seven Killings by Marlon James –– Seven diddly sins.
The Assassination of Margaret Thatcher by Hilary Mantel –– Aims low.
Gray Mountain by John Grisham –– Hill of beans.
The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters –– Lezzies.
The Remedy for Love by Bill Roorbach –– Hot beef injection.
Nora Webster by Colm Toibin –– Noah way out?
Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult –– Doesn’t fare well.
Edge of Eternity by Ken Follett –– Foul lit.
Revival by Stephen King –– Raise the dud.
You Have to F******g Eat by Adam Mansbach –– But not this s**t.
To Rise Again at a Decent Hour by Joshua Ferris –– One should be alarmed.
We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler –– Abreast-beating.
The Drop by Dennis Lehane –– Falls short.
The Children Act by Ian McEwan –– Up.
Leaving Time by Jodi Foucault –– S’long.
The King’s Curse by Philippa Gregory –– Eff ye, peasant.

The Secret Place by Tana French –– Put this there.
One Kick by Chelsea Cain –– No kicks.
The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell –– Rib tick-lers.
Bittersweet by Colleen McCullogh –– Sour, in fact.
Secrets of the Lighthouse by Santa Montefiore –– On the rocks.
Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and his Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami –– Nippon the bud.
Invisible by James Patterson –– I wish!
Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarity –– Tome of the whopper.
The Heist by Daniel Silva –– Lift and separate.
The Book of Life by Deborah E. Harkness –– Life is too long.

Fast Track by Julie Garwood –– Muddy Track.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot by David Shafer –– WTF, indeed.
The Magician’s Land by Lev Grossman –– A dry spell.
Close Your Eyes, Hold Hands by Chris Bohjalian –– And vomit.
One Plus One by Jojo Moyes –– Too two.
Act of War by Brad Thor –– Thor of duty.
Uncaged by John Sandford & Michele Cook –– Free-range chickenshit.
All Fall Down by Jennifer Weiner –– Gravitational bull.
Rogues by George R.R. Martin –– R.R. crossing.
Top Secret Twenty-One by Janet Evanovich –– Not secret enough.
Written in My Own Heart’s Blood by Diana Gabaldon –– A vein effort.
The Matchmaker by Elin Hilderbrand –– Yenta, the dragon.
The Hurricane Sisters by Dorothea Benton Frank –– Twists in the wind.
China Dolls by Lisa See –– See minus.
The Vacationers by Emma Straub –– A vacay lot.
The One & Only by Emily Griffin –– Thank God.
The Last Kind Words Saloon by Larry McMurtry –– Drinky poo.
Field of Prey by John Sandford –– Doesn’t stand a preyer.
Walking on Water by Richard Paul Evans –– Miracle wimp.
Unlucky 13 by James Patterson –– Unfortunate.
The Skin Collector by Jeffrey Deaver –– Snuffed derma.
Suspicion by Joseph Finder –– Finder’s creepers.
Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King –– Mercedes' bents.
All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr –– Doerr jam.
Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia by Kendall & Kylie Jenner –– YA diddle.
The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith –– Crawls.
The Son by Jo Nesbø –– Hairy Hole.
The Collector by Nora Roberts –– Snorer Roberts.
Chestnut Street by Maeve Binchy –– Dublin down.
The Target by David Baldacci –– Expect more, pay less.
The Snow Queen by Michael Cunningham –– Flake ID.
Lovers at the Chameleon Club, Paris 1932 by Francine Prose –– Prose and con.
Otherwise Engaged by Amanda Quick –– A Quick fix.
Delicious by Ruth Reichel –– The yuck and the restless.
Bridge to Haven by Francine Rivers –– Haven help us!
In Paradise by Peter Matthiessen –– Postmortem depression.
Astonish Me by Maggie Shipstead –– By finishing this.
Casebook by Mona Simpson –– Open and shot.
Sleep Donation by Karen Russell –– I gave 8 hours getting through chapter one.
Personal by Lee Child –– Personal worst.
The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty –– Lace panties!
Missing You by Harlan Coben –– Missing lunk.
Raising Steam by Terry Pratchett –– Steam punk’d.
Power Play by Danielle Steel –– Steel trap.
The Bootlegger by Clive Cussler –– The bootlicker.
Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson –– Glittering generalities.
Private L.A. by James Patterson –– Private parse.
You Should Have Known by Jean Hanff Korelitz –– This would suck.
The Cairo Affair by Olen Steinhauer –– Sphinx to high heaven.
30 Girls by Susan Minot –– Minot maids.
The Black-Eyed Blonde by Benjamin Black –– Flip Marlowe.
Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi –– Snow why…?
Redeployment by Phil Klay –– Tour apart.
Bark by Lorrie Moore –– Worse than bites.
Concealed in Death by J.D. Robb –– Razz buried.
Private L.A. by James Patterson –– L.A. lacker.
Like a Mighty Army by David Weber –– Military mite.
The Museum of Extraordinary Things by Alice Hoffman –– Freaks flag.
After I’m Gone by Laura Lippman –– Dog Gone.
Carthage by Joyce Carol Oates –– Puffed Oates.
Orfeo by Richard Powers –– Faulty Powers.
Still Life with Bread Crumbs by Anna Quindlen –– For the birds.
First Love by James Patterson –– Then hate.
The Good Luck of Right Now by Matthew Quick –– Good Luck, and good night.
An Officer and a Spy by Robert Harris –– Snoop dog.
The Days of Anna Madrigal by Armistead Maupin –– Madrigal thinking.
Ripper by Isabel Allende –– The grim Ripper.
Lost Lake by Sarah Addison Allen –– Maid of the missed.
Red Rising by Pierce Brown –– Mars blahs.
Tiger Shrimp Tango by Tim Dorsey –– Prawn stars.
Dark Wolf by Christine Feehan –– Wolf haul.
Standup Guy by Stuart Woods –– Woods' hole.
The Pagan Lord by Bernard Cornwell –– Idol chatter.
For Today I Am a Boy by Kim Fu –– Fu man choose.
Andrew’s Brain by E.L. Doctorow –– Never mind.
The Kept by James Scott –– Worst-Kept.
Before I Burn by Gaute Heivoll –– Flame out.
On Such a Full Sea by Chang-rae Lee –– Doesn’t float my boat.
Radiance of Tomorrow by Ishmael Beah –– Illuminutty.
The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd –– Flighty.
The Wind Is Not a River by Brian Payton –– Shoots the breeze.
Command Authority by Tom Clancy with Mark Greaney –– Here ghosts nothing.
A Permanent Member of the Family by Russell Banks –– Big Banks theory.
The Gods of Guilt by Michael Connelly –– Deity squat.
Tatiana by Martin Cruz Smith –– Dorky square.
Who Asked You? by Terry McMillan –– Waiting to exhile.
Let Me Off at the Top by Ron Burgundy –– Burgundy whine.
The First Phone Call From Heaven by Mitch Albom –– It's collect.
The Circle by Dave Eggers –– Eggers can’t be choosers.
We Are Water by Wally Lamb –– Drippy.
Identical by Scott Turow –– To his other books.
Police: A Harry Hole Novel by Jo Nesbø –– Holey shit.
The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton –– Catton mouse.
The Valley of Amazement by Amy Tan –– Bleak and Tan.
The Book of Legendary Lands by Umberto Eco –– Eco-disaster.
Longbourn by Jo Baker –– Long, borin'.
Solo: A James Bond Novel by William Boyd –– Bond voyage.
Sycamore Row by John Grisham –– Sick o’ more Grisham.
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt –– Lemon Tartt.
Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding –– London Bridget is falling down.
Thankless in Death by J.D. Robb –– Robbotic.
Final Cut by Catherine Coulter –– Final Cut anti.
The House of Hades by Rick Riordan –– Hell no.
Dr. Sleep by Stephen King –– Better than Unisom.
The Quest by Nelson DeMille –– Trekked out.
The Longest Ride by Nicholas Sparks –– From first page to last.
Subtle Bodies by Norman Rush –– Subtle down!
Dissident Gardens by Jonathan Lethem –– Lefty frazzle.
MaddAddam by Margaret Atwood –– Madd libs.
Bleeding Edge by Thomas Pynchon –– Here V. go again.
Joyland by Stephen King –– Carnival barfer.
How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny –– Crack attics.
Traveling Sprinkler by Nicholson Baker –– Hosed.
Kenobi: Star Wars by John Jacksob Miller –– Oh, be wan!
The Whole Enchilada by Diane Mott Davidson –– Tortilla flat.
W is for Wasted by Sue Grafton –– And Whoo-hoo, she’s almost finished!
Mistress by James Patterson –– Distress.
The Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri –– Jumbled Lahiri.
Never Go Back by Lee Child –– Child resistant.
The Mayan Secrets by Clive Cussler –– Assault Mayans.
The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman –– More a puddle.
The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon –– Bone dry.
Hotshot by Julie Garwood –– Whiz banged.
The English Girl by Daniel Silva –– Bird sighs view.
Hidden Order by Brad Thor –– The lowest Order.
William Shakespeare’s Star Wars by Ian Doescher –– Luke’s Labour Lost.
Night Film by Marisha Pessi –– Film fester.
The Cuckoo’s Calling by Robert Galbraith –– Just Kidding Rowling.
Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan –– Chinese cabbage.
The Lullaby of Polish Girls by Dagmara Dominczyk –– Rock-a-bye babka…
The Widowed Waltz by Sally Koslow –– Waltz dizzy.
Bad Monkey by Carl Hiaasen –– Spank it.
The Engagements by J. Courtney Sullivan –– Break it off.
Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns by Lauren Weisberger –– I wouldn’t be Prada this.
Ladies’ Night by Mary Kay Andrews –– Half-off.
Sparta by Roxana Robinson –– Cuss.
A Hundred Summers by Beatriz Williams –– July froth.
All the Summer Girls by Meg Donohue –– Humid beings.
Bringing Up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel –– And lunch.
The Lost Husband by Katherine Center –– Help, mate.
While We Were Watching Downton Abbey by Wendy Wax –– Creepy Crawleys.
The Silver Star by Jeannette Walls –– Doesn’t rate bronze.
The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes –– Sweaty, really.
A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki –– It’ll doo doo.
A Thousand Pardons by Jonathan Dee –– OK, but just don’t write a book this bad again.
The End of the Point by Elizabeth Graver –– Never got the point.
Inferno by Dan Brown –- Not so hot.
Benediction by Kent Haruf –– Blessed little.
Mary Coin by Marisa Silver –– Two-bit.
Southern Cross the Dog by Bill Cheng –– Sham and grits.
And the Mountains Echoed –– Khaled Hosseni –– Boring…bo--rrring…bo--rrring…
The Whispering Muse by Sjón –– Hard murmur.
A Delicate Truth by John le Carré –– Le Carré on baggage.
The Other Typist by Suzanne Rindell –– Spell binding.
A Constellation of Vital Phenomena by Anthony Marra –– Stars and barfs.
The Hit by David Baldacci –– Slay away plan.
Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple –– Seattle space needled.
Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter –– Blarney rubble.
Whiskey Beach by Nora Roberts –– Littorally unbelievable.
Fly Away by Kristin Hannah –– Flyweight.
Paris: The Novel by Edward Rutherford –– Roman scandals.
Wedding Night by Sophie Kindella –– Bride's head revisited.
Daddy's Gone A Hunting by Mary Higgons Clark –– With a pop gun.
The Burgess Boys by Elizabeth Strout –– Strout fishing.
Don't Go by Lisa Scottoline –– There.
Maya's Notebook by Isabel Allende –– Muck and Maya.
Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald by Therese Fowler –– Zzzzzz…
All That Is by James Salter –– Trite.

TOP
LITERATURE 5

Cinema
Television
Theatre
Music
Literature
Literature 2
Literature 3
Literature 4
Literature 5

E. Basil St. Blaise

 

NON-FICTION

The Mamba Mentality by Kobe Bryant –– Kobe desert.
Fierce by Aly Raisman –– Vault-finding.
Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari –– Venereal Aziz.

A Full Life: Reflections at Ninety by Jimmy Carter –– Gray nineties.
My Fight/Your Fight by Rhonda Rousey –– Lousey.
Down the Rabbit Hole by Holly Madison –– My bunny lies over the ocean.
Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life by William Finnegan –– Finnegan's wake.
Voices in the Ocean: A Journey into the Wild and Haunting World of Dolphins by Susan Casey –– Yuck fin.
The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan –– No thanks.
Let’s Be Less Stupid by Patricia Marx –– You go first.
Between the World and Me by Ta-Neishi Coates –– Trenched Coates.
Being Nixon: A Man Divided by Evan Thomas –– Dick nixing.
One Man Against the World by Tim Weiner –– Frosts Nixon.
Sick in the Head: Conversations About Life and Comedy by Judd Apatow –– Lav riot.
Happily Ali After by Ali Wentworth –– Ali Blah-blah.
Primates of Park Avenue by Wednesday Martin Ph.D. –– Monkey bitchness.
The Road to Character by David Brooks –– Babbling Brooks.
Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future by Ashlee Vance –– You Musk be kidding.
And the Good News Is… by Dana Perino –– Cheery bomb.
Bill O’Reilly’s Legends and Lies: The Real West by Bill O’Reilly –– A Crockett shit.
A Lucky Life Interrupted by Tom Brokaw –– The pawn Brokaw.
Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania by Erik Larson –– Sinker pitch.
It’s a Long Story by Willie Nelson –– Doobieous.
Hope: A Memoir of Survival in Cleveland by Amanda Berry –– Detaineek!
The Book of Joan by Melissa Rivers –– Joan of Ugh.
On the Move by Oliver Sacks –– Sad Sacks.
Hold Still by Sally Mann –– The Mann act.
When to Rob a Bank by Steven D.Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner –– Handy swipes.
The Wright Brothers by David McCullogh –– Wingdinged.
Clinton Cash by Peter Schweizer –– Dollars Bill.
After the Tall Timber by Renata Adler –– Renata addled.
Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own by Kate Bolick –– Craft singles.
Operation Nemesis by Eric Bogosian –– Carving Armenians.
Missoula by Jon Krakauer –– Do’h Montana.
A Fine Romance by Candice Bergen –– Can diss.
So You've Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson –– The tweet from the chaff.
Inside the Army of Terror by Michael Weiss and Hassan Hassan –– Hassan a chance.
The Natty Professor by Tim Gunn –– Does it dorky style.
Becoming Steve Jobs by Brent Schlender and Rick Tetzeli –– Apple polisher.
The Contender by Michael Shnayerson –– Cuomo está.
Sherman’s Ghosts by Matthew Carr –– March madness.
Dead Wake by Erik Larson –– Laid out.
H is for Hawk by Helen MacDonald –– Eat prey, love.
The Great Leader and the Fighter Pilot by Blaine Harden –– Kim bombing fluid.
Every Day I Fight by Stuart Scott –– Ded Scott.
Girl in a Band by Kim Gordon –– Sonic goof.
Frank by Barney Frank –– Frank incensed.
Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be by Frank Bruni –– Admission impossible.
Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis by Robert D.Putnam –– Children of a lesser wad.
Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari –– From Ape to Zzzz.
17 Carnations: The Royals, the Nazis and the Biggest Cover-up in History by Andrew Morton –– Windsor Nazi.
Believer: My Forty Years in Politics by David Axelrod –– Obama pilot.
Einstein: His Life and Universe by Walter Isaacson –– Spatial ed.
10% Happier by Dan Harris ––90% crappier.
No Hero: The Evolution of a Navy SEAL by Kevin Maurer –– Cub what may.
You Can’t Make This Up by Al Michaels –– Unless you’re totally full of shit.
As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride by Cary Elwes –– Small tales.
The Great Reformer by Austen Overweigh –– Pope’s knows.
Deep Down Dark by Héctor Tobar –– Mined games.
Jeter Unfiltered by Derek Jeter –– Oily Derek.
Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace by Anne Lamott –– Bless then zero.
The Keeper by Tim Howard –– Goal-oriented.
Food: A Love Story by Jim Gaffigan –– Fat checker.
Dreamers and Deceivers by Glenn Beck –– Beck-slapper.
Becoming Richard Pryor by Scott Saul –– Pryor offenses.
Selected Letters of Norman Mailer by Norman Mailer –– Bunk Mailer.
Tennessee Williams: Mad Pilgrimage of the Flesh by John Lahr –– Tennessee faults.
I Must Say by Martin Short –– Short fall.
Brief Encounters by Dick Cavett –– Dick caveat.
Hope by Richard Zoglin –– Bob seeker.
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow: My Life by Sophia Loren –– Sectional Sophia.
So, Anyway… by John Cleese –– Fawlty memory.
True Love by Jennifer Lopez –– Booty camp.
41: A Portrait of My Father by George W. Bush –– Junior mess.
The Filthy Truth by Andrew Dice Clay –– Craps out.
Watch Me by Anjelica Huston –– Huston taxes.
The Andy Cohen Diaries by Andy Cohen –– Prefer Cohen of silence.
The Stranger by Chuck Todd –– Oddbama.
What If? by Randall Munroe –– Explain and fancy.
Killing Patton by Martin Dugard –– General malaise.
Respect by David Ritz –– Aretha madness.
All the Truth Is Out by Matt Bai –– Of this.
Jesus on Trial by David Limbaugh –– Swears to tell truth to self.
Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol –– Hopeless solo.
Waking Up by Sam Harris –– Snooze story.
Not My Father’s Son by Alan Cumming –– Cumming apart.
Worthy Fights by Leon Panetta –– Kinks of Leon.
The Secret History of Wonder Woman by Jill Lepore –– Amazon primed.
1982 by Jian Ghomeshi –– Submission creep.
In the Spirit of Monte Carlo by Pamela Fiori –– Grace anatomy.
All Things Possible by Andrew Cuomo –– Except a credible political memoir.
Spoiled Brats by Simon Rich –– Bitchy Rich.
Bad Paper: Chasing Debt from Wall Street to the Underworld by Jake Halpern –– Debt’s all, folks.
The News Sorority by Sheila Weller –– Anchors awry.
The Innovators by Walter Isaacson –– Tick tech tote.
13 Hours: The Inside Account of What Really Happened in Benghazi by Mitchell Zuckoff –– Embassy row.
The Invisible Front: Love and Loss in an Era of Endless War by Yochi Dreazen –– KIA soul.
Zero to One by Peter Thiel –– Rates itself.
Being Mortal by Atul Gawande –– Dying to read it.
Yes Please by Amy Poehler –– The Poehler expressed.
Another Side of Bob Dylan by Victor Maymudes –– The back.
Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham –– Y’know, funny and smart.
The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace by Jeff Hobbs –– Peace out.
World Order by Henry Kissinger –– Unrealpolitik.
Off the Sidelines by Kristen Gillibrand –– Mack Senate.
The History of Rock 'n' Roll in Ten Songs by Greil Marcus –– Cuts and dried.
Agent Storm by Morten Storm –– Topical Storm.
Hack Attack by Nick Davies –– He strikes again.
Diary of a Mad Diva by Joan Rivers –– Can we balk?
The First Family Detail by Ronald Kessler –– Secrete service.
The Invisible Bridge: The Fall of Nixon and The Rise of Reagan by Rick Pearlstein –– Ron weaselly.
Taking the Lead: Lessons from a Life in Motion by Derek Hough –– Houghin’ it.
The Teacher Wars by Dana Goldstein –– Class struggle.
Cosby: His Life and Times by Mark Whitaker –– Cos play.
Thimerosal: Let the Science Speak by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. & Mark Hyman –– There autist be a law.
Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay –– A near Ms.
Clinton Inc. by Daniel Halper –– Hillzapoppin’.
America: Imagine a World Without Her by Dinesh D’Souza –– D’Souza phony.
The Nixon Tapes: 1971-1972 by Douglas Brinkley and Luke Nichter –– Erase riot.
The Nixon Defense by John W. Dean –– Dick deep.
The Mockingbird Next Door: Life with Harper Lee by Marja Mills –– Lee genes.
A Spy Among Friends by Ben MacIntyre –– Philby cheese stakes.
Excellent Sheep by William Deresiewicz –– Ivy leakers.
Becoming Freud by Adam Phillips –– Siggy pop.
Blood Feud: The Clintons vs. the Obamas by Edward Klein –– The bicker, the better.
How Not to Be Wrong by Jordan Ellenberg –– Skip this.
Special Heart by Bret Baier –– Baier aspirant.
Carsick: John Waters Hitchhikes Across America by John Waters –– Thumb sucker.
One Nation: What We Can All Do to Save America's Future by Ben Carson M.D. –– Carson dully.
Think Like a Freak by Steven D. Levitt –– Freak credit report.
Good Call: Reflections on Faith, Family, and Fowl by Jase Robertson –– Foul.
The Good Spy: The Life and Death of Robert Ames by Kai Bird –– Amesless.
Hard Choices by Hillary Clinton –– Liket Bill’s to cheat?
Tibetan Peach Pie by Tom Robbins –– Rotten Robbins.
James Madison by Lynne Cheney –– As I remember him.
Let’s Just Say It Wasn’t Pretty by Diane Keaton –– Annie hell.
The Most Dangerous Animal of All by Gary L. Stewart –– Father knows beast.
Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton –– Unpull my leg.
Brunette Ambition by Lea Michele –– Brown baggy.
Sons of Wichita by Daniel Schulman –– Koch suckers.
Stress Test: Reflections on Financial Crises by Timothy Geithner –– TARP pit.
President Me by Adam Carolla –– Prez release.
Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant by Roz Chast –– Instead of my drawing ability.
The Closer by Mariano Rivera –– Save it.
Capital in the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Piketty –– Capital punishment.
A Fighting Chance by Elizabeth Warren –– Warren buffets.
Players First: Coaching from the Inside out by John Calipari –– Coach class.
No Place to Hide by Glenn Greenwald –– Guardian a-holes.
Living With a Wild God by Barbara Ehrenreich –– Goad Daddy.
Everybody’s Got Something by Robin Roberts — But not necessarily cancer.
Face the Music by Paul Stanley –– KISS of death.
Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder by Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington –– A huffing ton.
The Divide by Matt Taibbi –– Fat scratch fever.
Marry Smart by Susan Patton –– Snag, snag, snag.
Updike by Adam Begley –– Rabbit would retch.
Sous Chef by Michael Gibney –– Run around Sous.
Love Life by Rob Lowe –– Raw blow.
Flash Boys by Michael Lewis –– Flash ’n' the pain.
Uganda Be Kidding Me by Chelsea Handler –– Chelsea lamely.
10% Happier by Dan Harris –– 90% more miserable.
The Promise of a Pencil by Adam Braun –– In your eye.
Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You by Greg Gutfeld –– Square rut.
The Story of the Jews: Finding the Words 1000 BC-1492 AD by Simon Schama –– Hebrew notional.
You Must Remember This by Robert Wagner –– Because I can’t.
Jesus: A Pilgrimage by James Martin –– Easter charade.
Overwhelmed by Brigid Schulte –– Underwhelmed.
John Wayne: The Life and Legend by Scott Eyman –– John Wayne gassy.
Where Nobody Knows Your Name: Life In the Minor Leagues of Baseball by John Feinstein –– Not A ball.
House of Outrageous Fortune by Michael Gross –– Central Park Worst.
Blood Will Out by Walter Kirn –– Anemic.
The Sixth Extinction: An Unnatural History by Elizabeth Kolbert –– Extinct bomb.
One Way Out: The Inside History of the Allman Brothers Band by Alan Paul –– Whipping posts.
HRC: State Secrets and the Rebirth of Hillary Clinton –– To Hill and back.
Young Money by Kevin Roose –– Bucks naked.
The Future of the Mind by Michio Kaku –– Kakumamie.
Call Me Burroughs by Barry Miles –– Outer Burroughs.
Glitter and Glue by Kelly Corrigan –– Litter and goo.
The Party’s Over: How the Extreme Right Hijacked the GOP and I Became a Democrat by Charlie Crist –– Crist crossed.
All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Motherhood by Jennifer Senior
–– Mater D.
This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett –– Trying to Patchett up.
My Life in Middlemarch by Rebecca Mead –– Eliot mess.
My Age of Anxiety by Scott Stossel –– Nervous in disservice.
The Loudest Voice in the Room by Gary Sherman –– Won’t cure what Ailes you.
Your Life Calling by Jane Pauley –– Hang up.
Love & War by Mary Matalin & James Carville –– Opposites detract.
One More Thing by B.J. Novak –– Dim Novak.
Rita Moreno: A Memoir by Rita Moreno –– Latina feh.
Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel J. Siegel –– Through think and thin.

Miracles and Massacres by Glenn Beck –– Little pig horn.
Duty by Robert Gates –– Dowdy Duty.
Ping-Pong Diplomacy by Nicholas Griffin –– Paddle pushers.
Windfall: The Booming Business of Global Warming by McKenzie Funk –– Grand Funk railroads.
The Fat Lady Sang by Robert Evans –– Dull Evans.
Little Failure by Gary Shteyngart –– Don’t be modest –– it’s huge.
Johnny Cash: The Life by Robert Hilburn –– Fulsome prison blues.
American Mirror by Deborah Solomon –– Rockwell cant.
The Kid: The Immortal Life of Ted Williams by Ben Bradlee Jr. –– Kid vicious.
Double Down by John Heilemann –– It’s really depressing.

A Story Lately Told by Anjelica Huston –– Huston rocks it.
I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai –– Talibanned in Waziristan.
40 Chances: Finding Hope in a Hungry World by Howard G. Bufffett –– Mini Buffett.
Days of Fire: Bush and Cheney in the White House by Peter Baker –– Burning Bush.
Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas by Sara Palin –– Gassy Noël.
Wild Tales: A Rock & Roll Life by Graham Nash –– Grim Nash.
Americana: The Kinks, the Riff, the Road by Ray Davies –– Kink con.
Eminent Hipsters by Donald Fagen –– Steely damn.
Dr. J: The Autobiography by Julius Erving –– Dunkin’ don’ts.
Johnny Carson by Henry Bushkin –– Shears Johnny.
Things That Matter by Charles Krauthammer –– To a miserable human being.
The Reason I Jump by Naoki Higashida –– A loud noise?
Song of Spider-man by Glenn Berger –– Web willies.
Simple Dreams: A Musical Memoir by Linda Ronstadt –– Blue bio.
Double Down: Game Change 2012 by Mark Halperin & John Heilemann –– Mitt life crisis.
The Bully Pulpit by Doris Kearns Goodwin –– She adore Roosevelt.
Camelot’s Court by Robert Dallek –– Kennedy-space-centered.
Heart by Dick Cheney –– Out of aorta.
Autobiography by Morrissey –– Mope springs eternal.
Orr: My Story by Bobby Orr –– Sticks and stones.
Still Foolin’ Em by Billy Crystal –– Crystal method.
Thank You for Your Service by David Finkel –– All vet.
Paddle Your Own Canoe by Nick Offerman –– Piddle Paddle.
One Summer: America 1927 by Bill Bryson –– Lindy flop.
The Smartest Kids in the World by Amanda Ripley –– Lessons the blow.
Killing Jesus by Bill O'Reilly and Martin Dugard –– Doesn't quite nail it.
David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell –– Ass in a sling.
Tip and the Gipper by Chris Matthews –– Reagangnomic.
Si-Cology 1 by Si Robertson with Mark Schlabach –– Sigh-cology.
The Liberty Amendments by Mark R. Levin –– Levin scummy.
Salinger by David Shields & Shane Salerno –– Hermit crab. Gulp.: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal by Mary Roach –– Readers digest.
Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand –– String of clichés.
Exposed by Jane Velez-Mitchell –– Hil-Arias.
Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth by Reza Aslan –– The Christian error.
This Town by Mark Leibovich –– DC comics.
Happy, Happy, Happy: My Life and Legacy as the Duck Commander by Mark Schlabach –– Sad, sad, sad.
Lawrence in Arabia by Scott Lawrence –– T.E., tee hee.
Manson by Jeff Guinn –– Charlie woes.
Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris –– Insulint.
These Few Precious Days: The Final Year of Jack with Jackie by Christopher Andersen –– Prior to Jack in the box.
The Telling Room by Michale Paterniti –– Paterniti snoot.
Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan –– Mostly in the head area.
More Meta Blues by Ahmir ‘Questlove’ Thompson –– Roots cause.
That’s Not Funny, That’s Sick by Ellin Stein –– Lampoon tang.
Eleven Rings by Phil Jackson –– Hoops!… I did it again.
The Way of the Knife by Mark Mazzetti –– Cut rate.
Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation by Michael Pollan –– Locovore.

The Unwinding: An Inner History of the New America by George Packer –– The last wound-up.
The Art of Controversy by Victor Navasky –– Doodle bugs.
My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper by Gabrielle Reece –– But it fits in your mouth.
My Inappropriate Life: Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults by Heather McDonald –– Or creatures with opposable thumbs.
Everything Is Perfect When You’re a Liar by Kelly Oxford –– Like this book!
A Curious Man: The Strange and Brilliant Life of Robert "Believe It or Not!" Ripley by Neal Thompson –– Freak credit report.
The Friedkin Connection by William Friedkin –– Friedkin' ridiculous.
Who Owns the Future? by Jaron Lanier –– Google, but they’re just leasing.
Detroit: An Autopsy by Charlie LeDuff –– No Mo'town.
Vagina: A Biography by Naomi Wolff –– Cooze and ahs.

Attempting Normal by Marc Maron –– A stab in the dork.
Bad Pharma: How Drug Companies Mislead Doctors and Harm Patients by Ben Goldacre –– Pharma cysts.
Country Girl by Edna O’Brien –– Lassie come home.
Saving Justice: Watergate, the Saturday Night Massacre, and Other Adventures of a Solicitor General by Robert Bork –– Break in bad.
Top of the Morning by Brian Stelter –– Lauer expectations.
Waiting to be Heard by Amanda Knox –– Knoxious.
Roger Ailes: Off Camera by Zev Charles –– And rocker.
Out of Order: Stories from the History of the Supreme Court by Sandra Day O'Connor –– Lazy Justice.
Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg –– Lean in mean?

I Can Barely Take Care of Myself by Jen Kirkman –– Unbearable.
It’s All Good: Delicious Easy Recipes That Will Make You Look Good and Feel Great by Gwyneth Paltrow –– Gwynnie, the poo.
The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You by Jessica Alba –– Alba dross.
Skinny Bitch: Home, Beauty & Style: A No-Nonsense Guide to Cutting the Crap Out of Your Life for a Better Body and a Kinder World by Kim Barnouin –– Skinny dip.
My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor –– Justice is bland.
Why Priests? by Garry Wills –– Because lay pederasts would be jailed.
Killing Kennedy: The End of Camelot by Martin Dugard –– Jack splat.
Francona: The Red Sox Years by Terry Francona –– Sox puppets.
Coolidge by Amity Shlaes –– Cal’s state.
The Richard Burton Diaries by Richard Burton –– The Burton of proof.100 proof.
Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief by Lawrence Wright –– Cruise control.
The Future: Six Drivers of Global Change by Al Gore –– Screwy Drivers.
Hitmaker by Tommy Mottola –– That’s Hit with an S.
The Soundtrack of My Life by Clive Davis –– Batty Davis.
Long Shot by Mike Piazza –– Because there was so much dope in the syringe.
Rod by Rod Stewart–– And stuff.
All In: the Education of General David Petraues by Paula Broadwell –– Apparently he was.
Total Recall by Arnold Schwarzenegger –– The rutting man.
Who I Am by Pete Townshend –– What me care?