CINEMA
Salt — And battery.
Ramona and Beezus — Skid sister.
Life During Wartime — It ain't no party.
Farewell — Adieu doo.
Countdown to Zero — All-nuke revue.
Mugabe and the White African — Hits despot.
Jean-Michel Basquiat — A Basquiat case.
Spoken Word — Vocal yokel.
Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel — Hef cocked.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice — Cheese wiz.
Inception — Dream weeper.
Standing Ovation — A hand job.
Valhalla Rising — You might feel Norse-ish.
Alamar — Sea, sea, señor.
Operation: Endgame — Ay! spy.
Kisses — My ass.
Spoken Word — Vocal yokel.
Despicable Me — Disposable you.
Predators — Let us prey.
The Kids Are All Right — Mommy queerest.
The Girl Who Played With Fire — Burning bush.
Winnebago Man — RV wallbanger.
Grease Sing-a-Long — You're the one that I won't.
[REC]2 — A nervous [REC].
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse — Moon drivel.
The Last Airbender — He can really flex his sphincter.
Love Ranch — Dud Ranch.
Great Directors — Didn't direct this.
Only When I Dance — Pas de douche.
Beautiful Islands — Isle be damned.
The Agony and the Ecstasy of Phil Spector — Spectorscope.
Knight and Day — You are the wan.
Grown Ups — Thrown ups.
Restrepo — Gaffehanistan.
Dogtooth — Gnashville.
Air Doll — Deflating.
Kings of the Evening — Ghetto bluster.
Out in the Silence — A twink and a nod.
South of the Border — Bolívar of broken dreams.
Wild Grass — Now you know what the director was smoking.
Toy Story 3 — Play-doo.
Jonah Hex — Hex marks the splotch.
Cyrus — Mealy Cyrus.
The Killer Inside Me — Curled up in the fatal position.
Lovers of Hate — Will love this.
Let It Rain — Soppy.
Stonewall Uprising — Preaching to the queer.
The Nature of Existence — Don't take it at faith value.
Wah Do Dem — Jamaica pain.
I Am Love — Amore ill.
8: The Mormon Proposition — Annul a gay.
Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work — Yenta laughing.
The A-Team — A-holes.
The Karate Kid — Blech belt.
Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky — The Riot of Spring.
The Lottery — A whole lotto nothing.
Reel Injun — Indian tripe.
Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage — Rush limbo.
Winter's Bone — Osteopathetic.
Get Him to the Greek — Brand Ecchs.
Splice — Girls.
Killers — Slayed low.
Marmaduke — Cur-plop.
Ondine — Nymph skulls.
Double Take — Hitch hype.
Finding Bliss — Owed to joy.
Cropsey — Crapsey.
Convention — Dems the breaks.
Living in Emergency: Stories of Doctors Without Borders — Trek or treat.
Whiz Kids — Smarty paeans.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time — Dune buggy.
Sex & the City 2 — Carrie on and on.
Agora — A bare market.
Micmacs — Muckmix.
Survival of the Dead — They overcame burybury.
Picasso and Braque Go to the Movies — The Cubist little things.
Mademoiselle Chambon — Or is it Hambone?
Shrek Forever After — Shrek and ruin.
MacGruber — Lower Forte.
180 Degrees South — Semicircle jerk.
After the Cup — For the athletic supporter.
Solitary Man — Lone shark.
Two in the Wave — Nouvelle extremely vague.
Racing Dreams — NASCAR tissue.
Holy Rollers — Drug mohel.
Perrier's Bounty — Irish sprung.
John Rabe — Neato Nazi.
Robin Hood — Bow diddly.
Letters to Juliet — Where fart thou, Romeo?
Just Wright — Utterly rong.
Princess Kaiulani — Hawaii? Not so good.
Looking for Eric — Eric crapped on.
The Living Wake — The audience doesn't.
Here and There — And nowhere.
Barking Water — Sooner or lamer.
Daddy Longlegs — Below Pa.
Beetle Queen Conquers Tokyo — Bugzilla.
Ironman 2 — Rusty nil.
Babies — Doo-doo, dada.
Casino Jack and the United States of Money — Abramoff the record.
Happiness Runs — Down your leg.
The Oath — Swear off it.
Welcome — Kurds and wade.
Trash Humpers — Boy, you're gonna carry that waste.
Floored — Bored.
Mother and Child — Mummy's curse.
Multiple Sarcasms — Scoff flaws.
OSS 117: Lost in Rio — Dumbbell agent.
Furry Vengence — Borscht Pelt.
A Nightmare on Elm Street — Freddy offender.
Harry Brown — With a whacking Caine.
Anton Chekhov's The Duel — Pistol wimped.
The Good Heart — Beat.
Please Give — Me a break.
Phish 3D — Doobie, doobie, doobie.
TiMER — Set to endless.
Touching Home — After the tag.
The Human Centipede — Crappy-crawly.
The Back-up Plan — Plan Z.
The Losers — Or The Audience.
Oceans — Sea whirled.
Accidents Happen — On your rug.
Best Worst Movie — Best, bye.
Boogie Woogie — Boogie nits.
Kenny Chesney: Summer in 3D — Kenny? Geez.
My Boyfriend's Girlfriend — Ardor nonsense.
The Good, the Bad, the Weird — Kinks of Leone.
Behind the Burly Q — A bumper grind.
Paper Man — Novel-gazing.
A Shine of Rainbows — Prism break.
Kick-Ass — Kiss-ass.
Death at a Funeral — Bury, bury bad.
The Joneses — Don't keep up with them.
The City of Your Final Destination — Ivory sop.
In My Sleep — I directed this.
Exit Through the Gift Shop — Banksy driver.
No One Knows About Persian Cats — Except Persian pussies.
NoBody's Perfect — Further proof.
The Perfect Game — Pitching and moaning.

OSCAR de la OY-UHH 2010
Best Picture Nominees:
Avatar –– Na'ive.
The Blind Side –– The Joy of Sacks.
District 9 –– Interned for the worst.
An Education –– Crème de la cram.
*The Hurt Locker –– Bomb squat.
Inglourious Basterds –– Nutzi hunters.
Precious –– Little.
A Serious Man –– A mazel tov cocktail.
Up –– Yours.
Up in the Air –– Flight dreck.

Date Night — Date on arrival.
After.Life — Decease and desist.
Letters to God — Grail mail.
Black Waters of Echo's Pond — Waste Waters.
Everyone Else — Will hate this.
Fresh — Rotten.
The Misfortunates — A dog of Flanders.
When You're Strange: A Film About the Doors — Open and shit.
Who Do You Love — Chess-thumping.
The Square — Rut.
La Mission — Bratt worst.
Clash of the Titans — Perseus wears spots, the Kraken, stripes.
The Last Song — Refrain yourself.
Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too — Too who?
Don McKay — McKay mouse.
The Greatest — Compared to what?
Leaves of Grass — Slim Whitman.
City of Life and Death — Nanking doubts.
Warlords — Taiping errors.
The Sun Behind the Clouds — Dalai lamer.
Breaking Upwards — Stock split.
Hot Tub Time Machine — Ladies and germs.
How to Train Your Dragon — Broken lizard.
Bluebeard — Choke mate.
Chloe — Schmoe.
Ca$h — For clunkers.
The Eclipse — The ghost whimperer.
Godspeed — Crappy trails.
Dream Boy — Gay's anatomy.
Calvin Marshall — Whiff of desperation.
Lbs. — Gut check.
The Bounty Hunter — Dog: The Bounty Hunter.
Repo Men — Whatever repossessed them?
Diary of a Wimpy Kid — Spaz cadet.
Greenberg — Schlemiel plan.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo — Tat for tit.
The Runaways — Jett blew.
Vincere — Il Ducebag.
The Red Baron — Meet the fokkers.
Mid-August Lunch — Meal borne.
The Killing Jar — Jar? Jar stinks.
The Lightkeepers — A shipwreck.
IMAX Hubble 3D — Cinema scope.
Neil Young Trunk Show — Way, way after the gold rush.
City Island — Bronx jeer.
Green Zone — Natural Bourne killers.
Remember Me — Starring What's-his-face.
Our Family Wedding — Panic groom.
She's Out of My League — Pee-wee vermin.
The Cry of the Owl — Hoo-boy!
The Exploding Girl — Boom box.
Stolen — From other bad movies.
Mother — Mamarama dingdong.
Tales from the Script — Screen text.
Alice in Wonderland — Alice in chintz.
Brooklyn's Finest — Poor Brooklyn.
Harlem Aria — Ham solo.
Harlan: In the Shadow of Jew Süss — Nazi Fagin.
Iron Cross — I'm pissed, too.
White Stripes: Under Great White Northern Lights — Caution: White load.

Cop Out — Dick jokes.
The Crazies — The teabaggers have their own movie?
The Art of the Steal — Barnes burner.
Defendor — Offendor.
The Yellow Handkerchief — Full of snots.
Formosa Betrayed — Taiwan on.
Toe to Toe — Lacrosse off your list.
A Prophet — And loss.
Prodigal Sons — Simp'ring rivalry.
Easier With Practice — Phony sex.

Shutter Island — Shutter theater.
The Ghost Writer — Bio degradable.
Celine: Through the Eyes of the World — And through its colon.
Blood Done Sign My Name — With an X.
The Good Guy— Finishes last.
Happy Tears — Blue bawls.
The Last New Yorker — Got ham?
Lourdes — A minor miracle.
The Wolfman — An ass howl.
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief — Up a Greek.
Valentine's Day — Germs of endearment.
American Radical: The Trials of Norman Finkelstein — Firebland.
My Name is Khan— I'm con, too.
October Country — Family poor traits.
Videocracy — Skeevy-o Berlusconi.
Barefoot to Timbuktu — Mali hatchet.
From Paris With Love — And scabies.
Dear John — The wimping post.
District 13: Ultimatum — Parkour posey.
Ajami — Acidic Jews.
Terribly Happy — Happily terrible.
Frozen — Chill lout.
Red Riding — Hoods.
Eyes Wide Open — In disbelief.
Edge of Darkness — It's just your eyelids closing.
When in Rome — Do as the romcoms do.
Saint John of Las Vegas — The Craptist.
North Face — Mountain. Pass.
Still Bill — Right, shut him up.
Off and Running — On empty.
For My Father — He must hate the old man.
Bass Ackwards — Yuck fou.
Extraordinary Measures — May be required to revive you.
The Tooth Fairy — Yank it.
Legion — Angel feud keck.
A Room and a Half — W/No Vu.
Creation — Unnatural selection.
The Girl on the Train — A commute point.
Pop Star on Ice — Whore frost.
The Paranoids — They have reason to be.
Soundtrack for a Revolution — Unchained melodies.
To Save a Life — Save a sawbuck.
The Book of Eli — Eli-Eli-Ohhh.
The Spy Next Door — Jerky Chan.
44 Inch Chest — Tremendous boobs.
Fish Tank — Surface scum.
Waiting for Armageddon — Rapture head around this.
In Search of Memory — Fuhgeddaboudit.
Daybreakers — Dawn of the dud.
Leap Year — Off a bridge.
Youth in Revolt — Rebel yelp.
Wonderful World — The globe and male.
Bitch Slap — Slap shot.
Crazy On the Outside — Tedious on the inside.
Sweetgrass — You'll need a doobie.
Garbage Dreams — Of this movie.
Mine — Shaft.